11 Jun Speak Your Vues
The situation concerning the price of sheitels today is completely out
of hand. Every woman would like to look attractive and pretty and in
order to do so today, it means purchasing exorbitantly priced wigs. Is
there anything that can be done about this?
Editor’s Note: It is called ECONOMICS. Supply and demand rule the day.
If importance wouldn’t be put on fancy sheitels, the price would go
down. The people who sell these sheitels have tremendous overhead and
lots of expenses that you probably do not realize. They are in it to
make money, not lose money.
OFFERING HELP TO A BAALAS SIMCHA
As a busy working mother who Boruch Hashem has made a few simchos this
year, I have been asked countless times by family and friends, “What
can I do to help you?” I know that most of the time the people are
just saying it to be polite and don’t really have the time or interest
to help me out. However, there are some people who genuinely are
offering to help out in any way they can. Here is a great idea for
those who are in the position of knowing someone busy preparing for a
simcha. Just make and deliver supper for your friend and her
family! It will be greatly appreciated. I can say that in my
situation, I am busy running around trying to get things done and I do
not have time to cook for my family. They are being totally neglected
in that area. It would be so nice if I would know that there would be
a square meal ready for my famished family members after a long day.
Alas, I am not in the position to be the one preparing it at this
time! I also am not going to ask people to do it, but if they offered,
I’d gladly accept. May Klal Yisroel only know of simcha!
Editor’s Note: That sounds like a great idea. I guess you can order in
food if nobody’s offering to cook for you!
This is a funny incident about a serious issue. I sit in the rear of
my Shul to avoid getting coughed upon because many people don’t cough
carefully/correctly. With my heart condition, I can’t risk getting the
Flu. Recently, as the congregation turned to welcome the Sabbath
Queen (guess what), the man who was in front of me, was now standing
behind me coughing !!!
Editor’s Note: There is no escaping people who are coughing. Let’s
hope you build enough of immunity to deal with the germs and cold of
Do you think it is right for people keep mental illness a secret when
someone is involved in a shidduch?
Editor’s Note: It would depend on whether the issue is hereditary or
not. If something is hereditary, then it will affect that person’s
life and it should be revealed. If it is not hereditary, why reveal
DAVEN FOR HIM
A Rosh yeshiva once came to Rav Shteinman to discuss a student they
were considering throwing out of the yeshiva.
Rav Shteinman asked him: “Do you know the name of the boy’s mother?”
The Rosh Yeshiva said, “No.”
“So you haven’t even davened for him yet, and you’re thinking of
throwing him out?”
Editor’s Note: What an amazing lesson in chinuch! We lost a great
tzaddik and luminary of our generation.
HANGING UP A SIGN
Is it okay to hang us a sign on my front door to ask the collectors
not to come when I am eating supper or late Friday afternoon when I am
trying to get ready in time for Shabbos?
Editor’s Note: I would say it’s fair. But you have to understand that
there are people here from another country who don’t have family of
their own here. They do not have access to most people unless they
come at those inopportune times. Most people are not home during the
day, so suppertime is their chance of catching people at home.
TALKING IN SHUL
The problem of talking in shul is also that people don’t have respect
for their friends and obviously for the One Above. If you say there is
“down time” in shul, which there never should be, then take out a
sefer and learn, or say Tehilim. If someone turns around to talk to
you, then just don’t respond. It is not that hard. Try it. I do it all
Editor’s Note: You are right.
MUSIC TOO LOUD
I have a problem that when I come to weddings I find that the music is
way too loud. Is it just me, or is today’s music louder than in the
past? I find that I get hoarse after each wedding just trying to make
myself heard while talking to the person sitting next to me. What
could be done about this?
Editor’s Note: I hear that there are band members giving out earplugs.
I have heard that there is a gemach that distributes headphones for
babies who have to be in a room with loud noise. If you are extremely
sensitive to noise you can attend prepared with earplugs in your
Technology has made the world become very small, with smart phones &
email. The range of choices of a shidduch has become more
sophisticated & instantaneous. I wonder if the shidduch crisis
corresponds with the use of smartphones & technology. A photo provides
a 2-dimensional snapshot of a person, but every shidduch age girl now
has many pictures shared with her friends which can possibly leave a
bad first impression. Shadchanim, who once worked within one
geographic location & tried to match up the harder situations can now
focus on more lucrative matches based on technology.
The age gap in combination with technology filtering may be causing
the shidduch crisis.
What are your feelings about this?
Editor’s Note: Those who have access to technology may get engaged to
others with similar technological access. Don’t you know that Hashem
is the one who is mezavaig zivugim, so it doesn’t matter what era we
may live in, He is still the one in charge!
Why do we need to wear such expensive hats? We should enforce that Bar
Mitzva bochurim shoud wear caps as we found in the pictures of the
Yeshivas in Mir etc.
Editor’s Note: What came first, the hat became expensive? Or we
started wearing these hats and they became expensive? I believe, if
caps became the norm, it would become expensive. Look at esrogim for
example; before Succos they are expensive, after Succos they are
I have heard from countless lecturers that Hashem doles out nisyonos
and tribulations that an individual can tolerate. Hashem does not dish
out more than a person can handle. If so, why then do people commit
Editor’s Note: Just because someone did not withstand their nisayon,
does not mean they were not able to withstand their nisayon. If it was
easy, it wouldn’t be a nisayon!
I recently got delayed 13 hours on a domestic United flight and as of
yet (a week later) was not offered any compensation. Is this legal? If
yes, why hasn’t this been changed or complained about?
Editor’s Note: You should probably contact your lawyer and find out
why the airline should be more responsible for the delay than the
airport they were supposed to land at?
Is it muttar to take a vacation to a place, where you won’t be able to
daven with a minyan? Not talking about women or someone who has a
unique psak for doing so (psychological, physical, etc).
Editor’s Note: I would suggest you speak to your local Orthodox rabbi
since there are different scenarios where it would be permissible if
it helps your ruchniyus in the future.
What is going on with Jewish music today. It is so rocky and “beat”y
that I feel like I am listening to non-Jewish music. My kids tell me
it is my age. Are my kids correct and I just am losing patience with
music, or am I correct that Jewish music is just Jewish in name only.
Editor’s Note: I think you are both correct.
WEARING A HAT AND JACKET
I am writing this because I am overcome by this terrible trend hitting
bnei Torah and Rebbiem, Not that long ago all yungerleit and rabbeim
had this inborn shtultz to never walk in the streets without a hat and
jacket, just like a soldier in the army has to wear his uniform at all
times when he is on duty or else he will get court marshalled, so too,
yungerliet and rabbeim who are on duty 24/7- 365 should have to wear
their hats and jackets whenever they step out into the street.
Where has our kavod HaTorah fallen to????
Editor’s Note: Whoever said that wearing a hat and jacket is Kavod
HaTorah? If you look at old pictures, the Bnei Torah wore caps! It
definitely is a nice thing to wear a hat and jacket, but to put down
those who don’t seems a bit unfair.
I thought I’d share a dating story with you. A guy was going to get
engaged to this girl but he was a bit of a jokester so he says, “I
have to ask you a serious question.” The girl got all nervous, like
what does he want and he’s like ok………when you brush your teeth, do you
squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom or the middle of the tube?” She
answered without missing a beat, ” I don’t brush my teeth.” He cracked
up and proposed on the spot.
Bochur in BMG
Editor’s Note: This story has left me with bad breath. I guess I will
have to brush up on my knowledge of up to date proposals.
INVITE THE SPOUSE
I would love to hear people’s opinions on this. I am in my second
year of marriage and my husband was invited to his chavrusa’s wedding.
I was not invited. You could ask, why should he invite me? I am not
his friend and I fully understand that but I just think it’s socially
acceptable to remember the person is married and not only invite him,
but his wife as well. Why should I have to stay home by myself the
whole night while he goes to his friend’s wedding?
In reality, I don’t know that I would have gone. I think at least 95%
of young spouses wouldn’t go in such a situation, but why can’t you
make them feel good and invite them? The few that will come feel the
need to go out with their spouses and most won’t, so you won’t be
paying much more. You don’t need to worry about any extra
expenditures. But it’s a lack of etiquette when someone’s married to
only invite them and not their spouse. Don’t assume everyone has kids
and needs to stay home to look after them.
It’s a lack of sensitivity. Please don’t bash me on this. Thanks.
My friends always invited my husband and he chose not to come, but at
least he was invited.
Editor’s Note: You make a good point. It would only be fitting that
when one invites someone, their spouse should be invited.
SPEEDING CAMERA ALERT
Please be advised that there are numerous speeding cameras across
Brooklyn. It is virtually impossible to drive 35 mph and up without
getting a ticket. The lights are still set up to sync when doing 35
mph, so either you get a red light ticket when going 25, or a speeding
ticket when going 35. We need the politicians to make it fair and make
sure the lights get synchronized properly. It is ridiculous that one
can drive down Ocean Parkway at night and hit a red light on every
corner when driving 25 and the road is empty. I challenge anyone to
Editor’s Note: Politicians won’t change this! This is a money cow!
They aren’t interested in your safety; they’re interested in making
some good money off you. In a few years the courts will strike this
down as being illegal. Up till then your hard earned money will be
wasted on this.