23 Mar HALACHICALLY SPEAKING: HIDING AND “STEALING” THE AFIKOMAN
One of the most interesting customs of the Pesach seder is to “steal the afikoman.” Weeks before Pesach the children plan their afikoman present and where to hide the afikoman. What is the source of this custom? Is this custom practiced by everyone? Are there any other customs related to afikoman?
Breaking the Matzah
At yachatz the middle matzah is broken in two. The larger piece is taken for afikoman and smaller one for hamotzi.
Where to Place the Afikoman Matzah?
Underneath the Cloth
Many have the custom to place the afikoman matzah “underneath a cloth” as the yiddin did when they left Mitzrayim. This means to wrap it in a cloth.
On Shoulders
Some people have the custom to place the afikoman matzah on their shoulder as a remembrance to what we did while exiting Mitzrayim.
Under a Pillow
Many have the custom to place the afikoman matzah under the pillow which they recline on during the seder. Although one should avoid placing food under a bed or where he lays down, this is permitted. Some poskim suggest that we do this so that the children who steal the afikoman will not be seen be everybody.
Walking Around the House
Some people take the afikoman matzah and walk around the house with it on their shoulders, saying that this is what our fathers did when leaving Mitrzayim. However, many poskim stress that this should be done before eating the matzah at the time of afikoman, and not after yachatz. Others keep the matzah on their shoulder from yachatz until the afikoman is eaten.
Which Custom
There are many customs regarding this matter; all are acceptable.
Other Reasons for Hiding the Afikoman
One of the most well known reasons for hiding the matzah is to arouse the children’s curiosity. This also prevents us from eating it before the proper time. Other poskim explain that the afikoman represents the korbon Pesach. Just as the korbon Pesach needed to be watched, so too the afikoman needs to be watched. Based on this, some say that the child should return the afikoman right before we are ready to eat it. Others compare this to the custom of covering the challah during kiddush, so that the challah does not get embarrassed. So too, we cover (and hide) the afikoman matzah so it should not be embarrassed when we eat the other half of the matzah for motzi matzah.
The Sefas Emes says that the geulah of Mitzrayim is a preparation for future geulos. Since we are still in golus, we cover the afikoman as a remez that the geulah is hidden and not yet complete.
Giving it to Someone Else
The Shulchan Aruch prescribes that one should give the afikoman to someone else to watch in order to make sure that it is not eaten during the meal until the proper time. Instead, we allow the child to take it from us. This fulfills the same purpose, as the child will ensure that the afikoman is not forgotten, and there is no need to give it to someone else.
“Stealing” the Afikoman
Custom
A widespread custom in klal yisroel is that children steal the afikoman and hide it in return for a prize. Some quote this as being a beautiful custom. The Noheg Katzon Yosef says that this custom should not be abolished. The custom spread as older children and wives also steal the afikoman and ask for prizes.
Reasons
The Gemorah says that we grab matzos on the night of Pesach so that the children do not fall asleep. The Rambam says that we do unusual things on the night of Pesach in order to arouse the children’s curiosity. One thing is “grabbing matzah from one another.” Some say that is the source of the custom of children grabbing the afikoman matzah. (Those who disagree with this custom say that this Rambam is not referring to the afikoman matzah. Rather, it means that adults grab the matzos in order that the child should ask why this night is different. In addition, see below for other translations of the word “chotfin.- grabbing”).
Others offer the following reason for the custom of “stealing” the afikoman. We know that the dogs did not bark on the night of yetzias Mitrzayim. The Gemorah says that people steal when dogs do not bark, since the dogs are not a deterrent. Since stealing took place on that night, the custom is to steal the afikoman as well.
Other Interpretations of the Gemorah
Rashi on the Gemorah says that “grabbing” means that the seder plate should be lifted up so the children will ask about it, or that we should eat early.
Others explain that during the year the one who makes the bracha eats first, followed by the other participants. However, on the night of Pesach the guests can “grab” even before the leader eats in order that the children will ask and not fall asleep. In addition, even those sources that explain the Gemorah literally make no mention of the children grabbing the afikoman. Therefore, some say that the custom to steal the afikoman is based on a mistaken reading of the Gemorah.
Why is Stealing Permitted?
Theft is normally prohibited, even if it is done for a joke, in order not to accustomed oneself to steal. In addition, it can be argued that telling children to steal the afikoman is bad chinuch. However, if the thief is a member of the household then there is no concern because the owner of the house does not mind. Based on this, there is no concern of stealing the afikoman since this is part of the seder. This is not considered stealing for a joke.
We find for other Yomim Tovim that certain actions which are generally forbidden are permitted on, i.e. damaging someone else because of the joy of Yom Tov. So too, stealing the afikoman is permitted because of simcha.
Not to Steal the Afikoman
Many frown on this custom since it is not the way of the Torah to let children steal even for a joke. The Mishnah Berurah does not mention this custom, and it could be because he was not happy with it. This is the practice of the Sefardim and many Chassidishe sects. However, one who has this custom need not refrain.
Other Advice
Another potential problem is that the afikoman might be placed anywhere in the house, and the child might actually forget its location. It would not be considered watched (see above). Therefore, some poskim suggest that the child should tell his mother where he put the afikoman and then the mother will give him a prize. This custom is not widely practiced.
“Grabbing” the Afikoman
Even those who follow the custom of stealing the afikoman should call it “grabbing” the afikoman, rather than stealing the afikoman.
Other Halachos Related to Grabbing the afikoman
As stated earlier, sometimes the child chooses a good hiding place for the afikoman and he forgets where it is. The poskim say in such a case one should just take a different matzah and use it for afikoman.
Where Not to Put the Afikoman
The child should be instructed not to hide the afikoman in the bathroom, or a place which has water. In addition, it should not be placed under a bed.
Asking for a Prize
When the afikoman is returned, the child asks for a prize. Sometimes this prize can be beyond the means of his father. There are many variables in this situation; therefore, one should discuss this matter with his Rav when the question arises.
Guests
If one’s host does not follow the custom of stealing the afikoman, then he should tell his children not to take it.
Segulos With the Afikoman
Hanging the Afikoman
The Gemorah states that hanging bread in a basket causes poverty. This inyan is brought by many poskim as well. Children routinely put their sandwiches in knapsacks, which are then hung on pegs on the wall in school. The poskim maintain there is no reason to refrain from hanging knapsacks in this manner.
Some people have a custom to place the afikoman as a shemirah on top of the door. This is not considered hanging bread. Some poskim maintain that one should use the matzah of the second night for this purpose. The piece of afikoman should be burnt at the burning of chometz on Erev Pesach.