30 Nov SPEAK YOUR VUES

SPEAK YOUR VUES WITH THE VUES MASTER

Please note that the author of Speak Your Vues is in no way affiliated with the publisher of this paper. The author of this column is an independent third party contributor. The views and opinions expressed by this author may not reflect the views and opinions of the publishers. If one has any issues with any of the views, please write a letter to the Vues Master.

 

AFFLICTION

Dear Vues Master:

It was said about a certain person that he afflicted

himself with all kinds of afflictions

and fasted each week from שבת†to שבת†. A ,רב

whowas opposed to such afflictions, commented:

“The גמרא†in שבת†says:

יודע†הקדוש≠ברוך≠הוא†בכלב†שמזונתיו†מועטים¨

לפיכך†שוהה†אכילתו†במעיו†שלושה†ימים.

So just imagine the מדרגה†of this man whose

food remainsin his intestines for six straight

days.”

MB

Vues Master’s Note:I say the word frum in

Yiddish spells fer eish vov

mem which stands for “fil Rishus Veinig

Mitzvos” It is hard enough

keeping the basics no need to look for crazy

afflictions!

MESHULACH

Dear Vues Master:

On a cold, snowy day, a wealthy man was

praying שחרית†at home when an עני†appeared

at his door. Angry that the poor man had gotten

his marble floor dirty from his snow covered

boots, the גביר†directed him to leave. “I’m sorry

about your floor,” the עני†said, “but since you

are praying שחרית†, note that although תפילת

ברוך†שאמר†says ברוך†מרחם†על†הארץ†, it continues

withƆ”Æברוך†מרחם†על†הבריות

Vues Master’s Note:I thought the meshulach

would ask him to step out so he can feel the

cold and wet temperatures!

HAPPY CHANUKAH

Dear Vues Master:

The מחבר†in Shulchan Aruch (O.Ch. 670: 2)

writes”Chanukah was not instituted for משתה

and שמחה†”. The רמב”ם†does write, that Chanukah

is ימי†שמחה†והלל†The Brisker Rav זצ”ל

claims the רמב”ם†meant with ימי†שמחה†only

to the extent that there is no הספד†&†תענית†but

not that there is a חיוב†שמחה†According to the

above, the appropriate greeting for Chanukah,

might not be “Happy Chanukah” However, according

to the ט”ז†who quotes from the ,מהרש”ל

the רמב”ם†does consider Chanuka as a Yom

Tov where משתה†&†שמחה†are required. Have a

happy, joyous & Lechtigeh Chanukah

MF

Vues Master’s Note:Just make sure you eat the

Brisker shiur of doughnuts!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?

Dear Vues Master:

I’m standing in line to buy Chanuka gifts,

when I notice a man buying for his grandson

a Menorah with a baseball, football

basketball & logo on it! At least let it be my

favorite teams; Yankees, Knicks, & Cowboys!

But instead it was the Mets Jets &

Giants who can use some Miracles! To me

it was a Yevonim Menorah not a Macabee

Menorah. (I don’t mean the Israeli Maccabees

Soccer Team)! Have A Lichteger

Chanuka!

RLL

Vues Master’s Note:It is a miracle your letter

got to me! Mymashgiach used to tell me

Sports is an Avoda Zora!

ACROSTIC

Dear Vues Master:

THE ENTIRE CHANUKAH STORY

IN 35 WORDS

*.R. Y.Ch.Sonnenfeld zt”l wrote that

this Piyut which encapsulates the entire

Chanukah story, was composed by the

Chasam Sofer zt”l.

חשמונאים†נלחומ†ונצ†ו†ח†לכ†היוונים

חושםי†נכנוס†ופיונ†כיל†ההיכל

חביבי†ם†נמצאו†ובקרקע†כד†השמן

חתו†ם†נמצא†ובטבעת†כ†ן†ה†הגדול

חיבתם†נגלית†והספיק†כל†השמונה

חכמים†נמנו†וקבעו†כסליו†הבא

’†ח†נרות†ולגמור†לכ†ההלל

*Found in theSefer “†”חיים†שיש†בה

מאת†הרה”ג†ר’†יצחק†שרגא†גראס†שליט”א

FM

Vues Master’s Note:Love it! Send some

more of these. They are very good! 

 

POEM

Dear Vues Master:

This poem is bittersweet. It is in a way one of the best I have ever written, but I must admit, it pales in comparison to some other expressions of spirituality.

Now it’s our turn to trade blows

Hate, hate, hate

On one side we’re forever divided

On the other we’re ever going

We can’t be pawns in a game of pawns

We can’t be masters in a game of pawns

We can’t be slaves in a game of pawns.

On the one hand we have the money and the fame We possess the means to make the money To buy the things that we love And keep the things that we sell. On the other hand we have the pleasure of learning And the wealth to satisfy our Soul Fulfilling and content lives on in us Until we combine to create a better world.

PK

Vues Master’s Note:Nice. I like this rhyme. And now is the time. For me to climb. And act as a mime!

SOLDIERS

Dear Vues Master:

I am outraged by one of your recent ads stating that people should sponsor pizza, sufganiyot, coffee “to help the soldiers in Israel who are constantly protecting those that daven, learn etc.” Just the opposite! It is those who daven and learn that are giving around the clock protection for our soldiers. They may not be putting their lives on the line, but they are doing far more for The State of Israel than the army. By running ads such as these you appear to support those who wish to draft the fine yeshiva bachurim into the treifa army. Please refrain from running these ads in the future.

-A concerned ba’al habus

Vues Master’s Note:One thing is for sure! These Soldiers are Jewish and doing their hishtadlus to protect the Country! You have a chiyuv as hakaras Hatov to daven for their welfare and to help them in any way shape or form! No one is drafting anybody here we are just acknowledging those who are out there putting their life on the line for Eretz Yisroel!

RITTENHOUSE

Dear Vues Master:

Ok….now let’s have the second rittenhouse trial…when we charge his parents. Who in their right mind gives (or allows to have) a teenager an automatic weapon? And when he walked out the door with a loaded modified ar-15 (weapon of choice for school massacres) , hois mother “tried to stop him”. But did she call the police?

the state patrol? Or was it just a half-hearted gesture of throwing your hands in the air and saying “well i tried?” this insanity…which always leads to something bad…starts in the home. Maybe that’s where the next arrest should start.

LTF

Vues Master’s Note:Isn’t it interesting that the SUV that killed a bunch of people during a parade drove by itself. No mention of the

driver etc. It must have been a self driving car!

THE BEST CHANUKAH GIFT

Dear Vues Master:

I just want to thank the New York Mets owner for the best Chanukah present ever, pitcher Max Scherzer. As a Mets fan, I couldn’t ask for a better present!! Thanks Steve!!

DH

Vues Master’s Note: LGM!! I hope Mad Max is healthy & brings the Mets a championship finally!!

REPETITION

Dear Vues Master:

On תבש, when the ןזח†was saying השודק†of ףסומ, and enjoying hearing his own voice, he repeated וימחרב†ונעימשי†אוהו†three times. Afterwards, one of the םיללפתמ†said to him: “I don’t understand. The רודיס†states explicitly אוהו

תינש†וימחרב†ונעימשי. So why did you say it תישילש?”

ND

Vues Master’s Note: Reminds me of the Chazzan who said Yashchis ten times and did not emphasize Velo!

FAST

Dear Vues Master:

The 5 day fast

The א”מר†(Y.D. 123: 26) quotes aש”ארה†תבושת, “If someone drank גגושב†ךסנ†ןיי, he should fast 5 days, because It says 5 times ןפג†in שמוח.”

םישרפמ†ask on the ש”אר†that there are actually 7 times* “ןפג”Some claim that the 2 times mentioned in םירבד†don’t count The רושימ†חרוא†writes, “You can’t exclude הרות†הנשמ†because it is also part of the שמוח”

The ח”ב†writes The ש”אר†meant the five times it says ןפג†at the story of the םיקשמה†רש.

This is incorrect It only says twice ןפג†at the story of the

םיקשמה†רש

The רושימ†חרוא. corrects the אסריג†in the ח”ב, to read except for the 2 at the םיקשמה†רש. They are not part of the count.

The Chasam Sofer has a lengthy explanation of why we exclude the two times ןפג†at the רש

םיקשמהƆ(The two ןפג’s are referring to הטמ†לשו†הלעמ†לש†םילשורי)

The truth is that the word ןפג†appears eight times* in the Torah. (in seven Pesukim)

Perhaps, we can explain the ש”אר†by assuming there was a printing mistake instead of םימעפ†‘ה†it should say םימעפ†’ח. The word ןפג†appears in the Torah 8 times and therefore one who drank ךסנ†ןיי†would have to fast 8 days. (Not 5 days).

KF

Vues Master’s Note: I am getting drunk and hungry at the same time here.

MISER

Dear Vues Master:

A guest at the home of a wealthy man filled up his glass with wine

from a bottle that was on the table. The host, being a miser, said to him “That’s strong wine. I suggest that you not drink it straight.

It’s best that you dip bread into it and eat it.” The guest took soft

bread and soaked it in the wine until the glass was all but empty.

Seeing this, the host said “If the Jews who left םירצמ†were like you, they could have dried up the sea by dipping their bread in it and wouldn’t have needed םיה†תעירק.” Smiling, the guest responded: “You forget that on חספ†we eat תוצמ. Where would they have gotten soft bread?”

TL

Vues Master’s Note:I know a guest who was served soup from the bottom of the pot which ended up being hot water so he threw it at the host and said Vezarakti … Mayim Tehorim!

JUNGREIS

Dear Vues Master:

I was looking at the Rabbonim photos in the Vues issue 11/17-23 and noticed your caption above the photo of Rav Mordechai Jungreis. Rav Jungreis was in fact davening at the kever of the Menuchas Asher’s grandson who was named after Rav Asher Anshel Jungreis ztl.

The Menuchas Asher’s son Rav Elazar Aryeh is buried in the cemetery in Kiryas Yoel in New York. The photo of Rav Mordechai Jungreis is of the Rav davening at the kever of Rav Elazar Aryeh’s son.

Please see attached photos of the matzevahs of Rav Elazar Aryeh Jungreis and the Czenger Rav, Rabbi Asher Anshel Jungreis ztl who is buried in an Ohel in the Czenger Jewish cemetery in Hungary. I think maybe it could be a great grandson of the Menuchas Asher that Rav Mordechai Jungreis was davening by.

I hope this clarifies things.

Sincerely,

BW

Vues Master’s Note: Thanks for the clarification.

PROTECTION

Dear Vues Master:

Rabbi Dovid Lichtenstein asked. How was Yaakov able to arrange his family, to approach Esav, from least desirable to most desirable when the halacha is you can’t give someone over to be killed even for the sake of saving everyone else in the group?

This halacha is not when someone makes contingency plans like Yaakov but when someone is accosted and given an ultimatum. Besides this, the cases are

different as Yaakov is the head of the entourage and he put himself in front of Esav before everyone else.

The above answer also relates to your second question about how Yaakov could think about giving Dina to Esav considering who he was and that even Leah was afraid of getting married to him.

Surely Yaakov had to explain to Dina why he had to hide her in a box. Dina probably said to her dad, “I know you wouldn’t hand anyone over to Esav to appease him; however, I’m willing to get married to him in order to protect the family and I’m strong enough to keep my yiddishkeit and to maybe change him for the good.” Yaakov said no and soon afterwards, as he was closing the box, he started to ruminate about what she said.

Rashi says Dina was the daughter of Leah and that is why she’s a go-getter. A go-getter like Leah is afraid of someone like Esav who would suppress her. However, Dina started in the womb of Rachel, (as she was switched with Yoseph) so she also had the quality of shalom like her “mother” Rachel. Just like Rachel was willing to do everything in order to save her sister, Dina was willing to do everything in order to save her family.

DG

Vues Master’s Note: I guess you are thinking in terms of order of protection. Hopefully we should live in harmony and have no domestic disputes!

BELOVED MITZVAH

Dear Vues Master:

“Instead of arranging the timing of תורנ†תקלדה†so it won’t interfere with your travels, you should rather arrange the timing of your travels so it won’t interfere with the תורנ†תקלדה.

Lighting Ner Chanukah is the only Mitzvah that the Rambam writes (Hl. Chanukah 4:12) הוצמ

דאמ†דע†איה†הביבח(most beloved Mitzvah)

The Rambam also writes תקלדהו

הליגמ†תאירקכ†≠†תורנ†Perhaps the Rambam meant that the same

way הליגמ†תאירק†is החוד†all Mitzvos even אתיירואד†(except תמ

הוצמ) so too תורנ†תקלדה†is החוד†all Mitzvos.

Being it is such a great Mitzvah one should try to avoid traveling if it will interfere with this beloved and important Mitzvah.”

JU

Vues Master’s Note: You are right but there is also a Mitzvah to go to weddings etc. To go do kibbud av ve-aim. Speak to your Orthodox Rabbi!

RAIN

Dear Vues Master:

In רדח, the boys were learning יתוקוחב†תשרפ. They learned that י״שר†says on םתיעב†םימשג†יתתנו†that ׳ה†gave the rain ילילב†ןוגכ¨תאצל

ךרד†ןיאש†העשב†תותבש†ילילבו†תיעיבר

םדא†ינבƆOne of the boys asked why isn’t it the custom of people to go out on those nights? The דמלמ†gave him a dirty look and said: “Its obvious, people don’t want to go outside when it’s raining.”

PC

Vues Master’s Note: I guess he should have asked his Rebbe what came first, the chicken or the egg?

MARRIAGE

Dear Vues Master:

R’ יקסבאינק†םייח†was speaking with a רוחב†who was well into his twenties. Seeking to encourage him to get married, he told him “If you’re הרשע†הנומשב†ךיראמ, you’ll miss השודק.”

BM

Vues Master’s Note: I guess he liked single life too much!

JELLY OR CUSTARD

Dear Vues Master:

So what’s it gonna be? Jelly or Custard? I know you’re starting your diet tomorrow! Is there anyone out there that’s into Carmel? These are the major decisions in life. Someone told me to be dan lkaf zchus when I noticed someone looking at his blackberry during laining-krias hatorah. He most probably was following the aliya on the internet [Riiight]. Can anyone explain to me why there’s such a thing as alternate side of the street parking? Why do we need it? Are you telling me that the street is any cleaner? Do you really notice the difference? I drive around in circles looking for parking. One sign says No parking from 8:30am -10am while the next block says 9:30-11, and some even say from 1pm-no parking. When you finally find a spot, it’s either a fire hydrant or a bus stop. I once was in my car at the end of a bus stop talking on my cell phone while I was parked. I received two tickets but the judge dismissed both of them. He was a lamdan. Mimana nafshach, If I’m on a cell phone, then how did I get a moving violation if I’m parked by a bus stop, and if I got for being parked at a bus stop, then how did I get a ticket for being on a cell phone and driving? Tafasta meruba lo tofasta!

I noticed a father in talis and teffilin handing over his blackberry

to his bar mitzvah son with his new tefillin -Now that’s what I call CHIN UCH! I know he wanted his son to practice for his aliya [yerida] on the internet. Do you like potato latkes or sweet latkes? I must have eaten 8 potato fresh homemade sizzling delicious latkes Motzai Shabbos [it’s a remez to the 8 days Chanukah] It’s a segula for gaining weight! Someone told me a cute game that they played by their Chanukah party-mesiba. The wives took their silverware from home and their husbands had to guess if it was milichigs, fleishigs, or parve? [keep on guessing!] I heard a cute line that even got an haskama from the Yarmerev Rav the Badchan. What is an example of Kheref Ayin-by the blink of an eye? When the light turns green and the car behind you honks his horn!

I remember saving up for my trip to Israel that I worked an entire summer as a waiter in camp. I show up to the airport and I can’t find my boarding pass. My entire dream is going down the drain in front of my eyes. All of a sudden some chassidersher yidden came running over to me and they think they found what I’m looking for. They show me an umbrella; “Is this what you’re looking for? Not quite.

Life is like a revolving door. We go around in circles not getting anywhere and at the same point where we started from. We finally double park and run into the bank to wait in line for quarters for the meter to be put in so we can go back into the bank to wait in line again. While we are waiting, someone always goes ahead of you, since they claim that they were there already [last week]. Then the business person goes ahead of you. Then, they finally call out Deposits only, however you’re only there to withdraw. You can’t win. You finally come out to your car and you see the orange ticket. Your meter expired!

I came to a certain shul one Motzei Shabbos that davens at 60 minutes, and to my horror I saw two “frum”Yidden smoking right outside in front of the shul in front of everyone in public while the Rebbe is speaking at shalosh seudos. It was before 60 minutes. Let them go daven elsewhere where they daven for 45 minutes if they have to smoke so badly. I’m melamed zchus that they did get an earlier minyan elsewhere, but then why do they have to smoke right in front of this shul that is makpid to dave in 60 minutes? To their credit they weren’t on their BLACKBERRIES!

Why is it that on Chanukah when we won the war against the Yavanim who tried to take the Torah away from us, that’s when we have vacation & parties? Take a look at the Biyur Halacha on hilchos Chanukah, where the Chofetz Chaim writes very strongly against card playing! Taf Reish AYIN –He brings down that instead of Zemiros to praise Hashem for the miracles that Hashem did for us, instead we play cards! I remember when I was a young boy, I betted my entire Chanukah gelt of $5 away and lost. I haven’t played since B”H. [I eat Sugar Free Fat Free &

Taste Free Spelt DoughNUTS!]

So keep on enjoying your latkes [Applesauce or sour cream?] and give your kids and eineklach Chanukah gelt, however, just make sure that there’s divrei torah by the Chanukah mesibas. ENJOY!

RMS

Vues Master’s Note: Just wanted to remind you that I have not seen a Blackberry device in years! Where do you see them?