17 Aug BEING ABLE TO “RESPECT”

In Parashat Ekev, Moshe

Rabbenu recounts one of

the most tragic events in our

nation’s history – the sin of

the golden calf. As we

recall from the Book of

Shemot (chapter 32), Beneh

Yisrael saw that Moshe did

not return from the top of Mount Sinai when

they expected, and they figured he wasn’t

coming back. They approached Aharon and

demanded that he make for them a graven

image to take Moshe’s place. Ahraron asked

them to bring their gold, and he made a

golden calf, which they then worshipped the

next day. Moshe returned, and G-d punished

the nation severely. Here in Parashat Ekev,

Moshe recalls how Hashem was very angry at

Aharon because of this incident: ובאהרון†התאנף

ה߆מאד†להשמידו¨†ואתפלל†גם†בעד†אהרון†– “Hashem

was very angry at Aharon, and was going to

destroy him, and I prayed also for Aharon”

(9:20). Rashi explains that Hashem decreed

that Aharon’s four sons would all die because

of his role in the sin of the golden calf, but

Moshe interceded on Aharon’s behalf. His

prayers were partially successful, as Aharon

ended up losing two sons – Nadav and Avihu

– while the other two survived. It is clear

from Rashi’s comments that Aharon acted

wrongly in this incident. Other sources,

though, say just the opposite. The Gemara in

Masechet Sanhedrin (7a) tells that before the

people approached Aharon, they had first

gathered around another leader, the prophet

Hur, who refused to make an idol, and the

people promptly killed him. Aharon feared

that if he also resisted, the people would kill

him, too, and after killing both a prophet and

kohen on the same day, the people would

have no chance of recovering. He therefore

felt it was preferable to make an idol.

Similarly, the Midrash (Vayikra Rabbah, 10)

teaches that Aharon did this as a stalling

tactic. If the people went ahead with their

idea on their own, the project would have

been completed in just an hour. Aharon

therefore decided he would take charge, and

proceed very slowly, in the hope that Moshe

would return in the meantime. The Midrash

tells that Aharon was actually rewarded for

his efforts by becoming kohen gadol.

According to these sources, Aharon acted

correctly – and was even rewarded!!! The

Be’er Yosef explains that there is no

contradiction here at all. Because one act can

be both right and wrong, both good and bad.

Although the Be’er Yosef does not specify

what Aharon could had done differently, he

writes that Aharon did the right thing by

making the golden calf, for the reasons

discussed, but it was still problematic. It

resulted in widespread idol worship, and thus

Aharon was punished. Surprising as it

sounds, Aharon was both rewarded and

punished for his role in the golden calf. This

act was both right and wrong. Imagine a

religiously observant businessman who, for

the sake of his business, needs to attend a

sales show in Las Vegas. Virtually every

rabbi would tell him that can go, as this is

necessary for his livelihood. But this does

not mean that this trip is not problematic. The

man must be extremely careful to ensure that

he does not cross any lines, that he does not

allow himself any form of impropriety. Like

Aharon, the businessman faces a complex

situation with no easy, clear-cut solution.

There are people in our lives whom we have

legitimate grievances against. We might feel

that our parents made mistakes raising us.

We might feel that a sibling was not always

as nice as he or she should be. We might feel

that our spouse doesn’t quite meet our

expectations. And we might feel

disappointed in our children. But even if all

this is true, this does not mean that they do

not deserve our respect. Life is complicated.

Like Aharon, all people frequently face

situations where the line between right and

wrong is not so clearly drawn. And so, like

Aharon, they deserve to be respected and

appreciated even if we legitimately feel they

wronged us. Very few

people are either “good” or “bad.” The vast

majority of people are generally good, even

though they sometimes, or many times, get

it wrong. Let’s try to respect people even if

they’ve gotten it wrong and even if they still

get it wrong. Let’s try to see all the good

that they do, respect all the good that they

do, and show them our sincere appreciation.