31 Jan THE VALUE OF A HALLMARK CARD
I’d like to speak about
the supreme importance
of showing gratitude,
Hakaros Hatov, in the
course of our daily life.
This is not a new concept
to my educated reader-
ship. For instance, we are
taught often that Moshe
Rabbeinu did not initiate
the plague of blood against the Nile, nor did
he bring about the plague of frogs, because of
his appreciation to the waters for saving him
when, as a baby, Yocheved placed him there
in his little ark. Similarly, Moshe did not
smite the sand to convert it to lice because he
was grateful to the earth for hiding the body of
Egyptian he slew. From these, we extrapolate
that if we are expected to show appreciation
even to inanimate objects then, of course, all
the more so we should show our recognition
to friends and associates who knowingly ben-
efit us.
However, today I would like to take this sub-
ject from the theoretical to the practical. How
should we inject the vital lesson of Hakaros
Hatov into our daily lives? My first rebbetz-
in, Miriam Libby (her neshama should have
a great aliya), had a simple but very effective
method. She used greeting cards – and they
don’t have to be the expensive Hallmark va-
riety. They can be the 99-cent variety. (Save
buying the expensive ones for a spouse or
parent!) Miriam Libby bought a bunch at a
time and sent them as tokens of appreciation.
It might have been to the superintendent of
the shul who did a good job, or to the post-
man who delivered our mail timely – even in
bitter harsh weather. Next time you go into
the drugstore or 99-cent store, pick up a few
cards. Think who you can send one to in or-
der to say, ‘that was a job well done,’ or, ‘how
thoughtful you were,’ or simply, ‘it’s great to
have you as a friend.’ (As a word of caution,
generally one should send a card only to those
of the same gender or send it in the name of
the family.)
If you want to test your Hakaros Hatov acu-
men, check out your attitude to the weekly
Bal Korei, the one who reads the Torah on
Shabbos. Are you one of those who pounce
when he makes a slight error? I personally
cringe when I hear the harsh tones people use
to correct the Bal Korei. I recommend the fol-
lowing good idea for every congregation. A
person shouldn’t be allowed to correct the Bal
Korei unless he is ready to do the job the next
week. After all, we have the gabboim on the
sides of the Torah and the Rabbi in the front
to make the corrections. When we hone our
sense of appreciation, we would consider that,
while we have a pleasant Friday night sleep or
a delightful time with our family, the Bal Ko-
rei is sweating it out time and time again pre-
paring the Torah reading for our benefit. The
correct attitude is to go over to him and say ‘I
really appreciate your effort. Thank you for
giving of your time for all of us.’
What about when your child has been strug-
gling at math for the last few semesters but
today comes home with a 90% on a mid-
term. Of course, the good parent praises and
rewards the child for a job well-done. But,
what about the math teacher who turned your
child around? We are quick to complain when
something is awry in our children’s education.
Doesn’t the educator deserve a phone call or
a note for a job well done? And, what about
the Rebbe who generates a zest for learning in
your child? Or the mechaneses who ignites in
your daughter a spirit or yiras shamayim? A
tasteful gift is a beautiful way to express your
heartfelt thanks.
The global Daf Yomi community just had
the pleasure of finishing Masechtas Nedarim.
While it is elementary that the talmidim, dis-
ciples, should show gratitude to their teacher,
there is another area of appreciation that is
sometimes neglected. When a man finishes
an entire masechta, he has the great sense
of fulfillment of accomplishing one of life’s
greatest achievements. But, he should ac-
tively recognize that he has a partner in this
accomplishment; namely his wife. And, he
wouldn’t be able to do it without her backing
and sacrifice. It is important for him to artic-
ulate this to her and share his simcha with her.
Such ideas as taking a wife out to dinner to
celebrate a siyyum or buying her a gift at the
conclusion of a tractate are excellent exam-
ples of meaningful Hakaros Hatov.
In the merit of our expressions of thanks,
may wonderful friends always surround us
and may Hashem bless us with good health,
happiness and everything wonderful.