30 May WHEN TO SAY MALEI

I. Days Without Malei
The Mishnah (Mo’ed
Katan 27a) discusses
when we eulogize
someone before burial
and when refrain from
doing so. On days of
communal happiness,
a sad eulogy evokes
feelings contrary to spirit of the day. Among
those days are Rosh Chodesh, Chanukah and
Purim. Later customs developed regarding
lesser practices, such as the mourner reciting
the tziduk ha-din accepting the divine decree.
It also highlights the sadness but not to the
point of a eulogy. The Tur (Orach Chaim 420)
quotes divergent customs regarding
reciting tziduk ha-din in the above days. In
Mainz, the Jews did not while in Worms, they
did.
The Shulchan Aruch (ad loc., 2) follows the
custom of Worms, permitting the recitation
of tziduk ha-din on Rosh Chodesh. The
Rema (ad loc.) says that the predominant
Ashkenazic custom of his time was to refrain
from saying tziduk ha-din, not only on Rosh
Chodesh but on all days that we omit the
pleading tachanunprayers. This continues
to be standard in Ashkenazic communities.
(See also Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De’ah401:6
regarding Chol Ha-Mo’ed.)

Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim 429:2) writes
that throughout the month of Nissan, which is
the month of redemption in which we celebrate
Pesach, we do not recite tachanun nor do we
eulogize the deceased. The Rema (ad loc.) adds
that also do not recite tziduk ha-din. The Chok
Ya’akov (ad loc., 7) says that we also do not
mention the deceased (“ein mazkirin bo
neshamos”). By this he means that we do not
recite the prayer annually commemorating the
deceased before the yahrtzeit anniversary that
begins “Keil malei rachamim,” often simply
called the Malei. Later authorities agree,
such as Mishnah Berurah (429:8) and Aruch
Ha-Shulchan (547:3). In other words, while
the Malei (before the yahrtzeit) does not

generate as much sadness as the tziduk ha-
din and eulogy (at the graveside or funeral),

it still is not said — according to Ashkenazic
custom — on happy days in the calendar when
we omit tachanun.
II. Shabbos and Holidays
But if we don’t say theMalei on days when we
omit tachanun, why do we say it on Shabbos?
In fact, we almost only say it on the Shabbos
before a yahrtzeit, even though it can be said
any time we read from the Torah. Rav Tuviah
Goldstein (Responsa Emek Halachah 1:31)
quotes a responsum of the Ge’onim in which

they were asked why we recite tziduk ha-
din on Shabbos but not on Rosh Chodesh,

Chanukah and Purim. They answered that
there is a fundamental difference between
Shabbos and the other holidays. On Shabbos,
we are commanded to relax and delight
(oneg). On the holidays, we are commanded
to rejoice (simchah). The sadness of recalling
a departed loved one detracts from the holiday
joy but does not affect the Shabbos delight of
eating food and dressing nicely.
However, this only raises another question.
On Yom Tov, we recite Yizkor during the
services. This prayer is a communal Malei for
everyone’s deceased loved ones. How can we
recite Yizkor on a holiday? The Levush (Orach
Chaim 284:7) explains that when we recite
the Malei on Shabbos, we pledge charity in
the memory of the deceased. This serves as
an atonement for their sins. Perhaps this
atonement comforts us and even brings us
some joy.
The Levush (133:21) adds that on holidays,
the influence goes in the other direction. On the
last days of holidays, when we recite Yizkor,
we read from the Torah, “Every man shall
give as he is able” (Deut. 16:17). In that
spirit, people donate charity to the synagogue.
When people give charity, they often do it in

memory of their loved ones. Therefore, the
custom developed to bless the deceased in
whose memory people donate money to the
synagogue.