11 Jul PARSHAS MATOS-MASEI: PASSION FOR KAVOD

Ramban: Why
was Parshas Nedarim
given over specifically
to “Roshei haMatos?”
Our parsha begins
with Moshe Rabbenu
telling the Jewish people the laws of Nedarim.
The beginning of the parsha is unique in that
it begins with the words “Speak to the heads
of the tribes saying…”. Most of the Torah
was either said directly to the children of
Israel (Daber el bnei Yisroel) or it was said to
the Kohanim (Emor el haKohanim). We do
not have any other portion that was given
over specifically to the heads of the nation
(Roshei haMatos).
The early commentaries themselves were
bothered by this question. Ramban in
his Chumash commentary suggests
that Parshas Nedarim is something that
should not be said over to the masses. The
concept of taking oaths and vows is very
stringent; and when people will hear that you
can be “matir” a neder or a father or husband
can be “mefir” a neder, they will come to take
these matters lightly. Consequently,
according to Ramban, these laws were given

only to the Roshei HaMatos, the leaders of
the nation, who could be trusted to deal with
these concepts with the level of sophistication
and reverence that they deserve.
Alternate Opinion of the Chasam Sofer
on the same question:
The Chasam Sofer, however, offers a
different answer to this question. He suggests
that the leaders of the nation had a special
need to be aware of these laws. He quotes the
story of the Shofet Yiftach who in haste made
a vow to offer as a Korban to G-d the first
thing that came to greet him when he returned
victoriously from battle. The first thing that
came to greet him was his daughter.
The Medrash in Bereishis Rabba asks, Why
didn’t Yiftach go to Pinchas and have his vow
“permitted” through the vehicle of “Hataras
Nedarim”? The Medrash answers that
Pinchas was waiting for Yiftach to come to
him (he being the “Gadol haDor”) and
Yiftach was waiting for Pinchas to come to
him (he being the chief political and military
officer in the country). While each was trying
to protect the honor of their own position, the
life of the daughter was lost.

The Medrash says that both Yiftach and
Pinchas were punished for this: Yiftach lost
his life in a terrible disease where limbs
started falling off one by one (as it says “he
was buried in the cities (plural) of Gilead”)
and Pinchas lost his ability to receive Ruach
HaKodesh. The Chasam Sofer says this is
perhaps why the Torah was particularly
concerned that the leaders be extremely
careful and well-versed in the laws of
Nedarim.
Two observations are to be made on this
teaching:
1. We cannot project our own petty midos
on people of the stature of Pinchas and
Yiftach. Although the Medrash does
say that in this situation they were
punished for their actions, we must
never confuse our own petty
shortcomings with those of people who
were Gedolei Olam.
2. Many times we see people do things
because their Kavod was slighted.
They do these things even though
doing so is clearly to the detriment of
both them and their own families. It is
not unheard of for a person to sacrifice

his own welfare or the welfare of his
children on the altar of his ego. When a
person’s Kavod is affected, he can
literally let his own children die.
We as human beings have a passion for
kavod. The older we get the more we have a
tendency to be particular about our honor. A
person needs an independent opinion to turn
to — be it his Rebbi, his Rav, his Rosh
Yeshiva, or his good friend — who can open
his eyes to his own blindness regarding
matters of Kavod. Only an independent
opinion can help prevent a person from
leading himself to self-destructive action or
inaction.