24 Oct LECH LECHA: LETTING GO FOR THE SAKE OF THE FAMILY

The Torah in Parashat
Lech-Lecha tells of
Hashem’s famous
command to Avraham
Avinu,Lech Lecha – to
go forth, to leave behind his home and
travel to the Land of Israel. When he
arrived in the land, the Torah says, Vayet
Ahaloh– he pitched his tent (12:8).
Rashi takes note of the fact that although
the pasuk is read as though it says, Vayet
Ahalo – “he pitched his tent,” the word is
written Ahaloh, which means “her
tent.” This indicates that Avraham first
pitched his wife’s tent before pitching his
own tent. He made a point of first tending
to his wife’s needs before caring for his
own needs.
Whenever I am asked to officiate at a
wedding, and I meet with the couple
before the wedding, I ask them what they
find so special about the other. Invariably,
they say something to the effect of, “He/
she puts my needs ahead of his/her
needs.” During the courtship and

engagement, the couple is truly devoted
to each other, and they each put the
other’s needs ahead of
theirs. Unfortunately, however, after the
wedding, as time goes on, this becomes
more difficult. Husbands and wives are
far less willing to sacrifice for each other
than they were when they were dating
and engaged.
Avraham Avinu sets for us the example
of how marriage is supposed to work,
with the husband and wife putting each
other’s needs before their own. In order
for a marriage to succeed, both spouses
are going to have make sacrifices and let
go of things for the sake of the
relationship.
As mentioned, this parashah begins
with the command of Lech – Lecha– that
Avraham was to leave behind his
homeland and his father’s home, and
journey to a new land and a new life. We,
too, are commanded to Lech – Lecha– to
let go of things which hold us back, and
prevent us from living the life that we are

supposed to
live. And this
command of Lech –
Lecha requires us to
let go for our
family. For some,
this means letting go
of laziness, or
selfishness, in order
to do all the work
needed to properly
care for their
family. For others, it
means letting go of some bad habit that
negatively affects the family. And for
some this requires giving up a hobby or
pastime for the sake of tending to the
family.
Letting go of things which have been an
important part of our lives can be
difficult. But sometimes, we have no
choice but to let go. Hashem promised
Avraham that after he settles in the Land
of Israel, “I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing” (12:2). We

need to trust that these difficult sacrifices
will bring us greatness, will grant us
blessings, and will make our lives
beautiful. When a husband and wife put
each other’s needs above their own, they
create something magnificent. When
they both put their family’s needs ahead
of their own, they build a truly beautiful
family. Letting go is hard, but it is
through the difficult process of sacrifice
that we achieve the kind of greatness that
the descendants of Avraham Avinu are
meant to achieve.