05 Dec MITZVAH MAN & HERO LARRY BARTH, DONATES HIS KIDNEY
Please tell everyone a little bit about yourself:
Your age, your family, your job etc.
I’m 61 years old. I live in West Hempstead
and daven at Congregation Eitz Chaim of
Dogwood Park under the leadership of Rabbi
Mordechai Torcyner. My wife Ellen & I have
three married kids, nine grandchildren, and
I’m a financial advisor.
How are you feeling these days?
A little pain, but not bad. Overall, B”H I’m
feeling good.
Right now, I’m talking to you on Motzei
Shabbos, so this is already three plus days.
Correct, this is three days since the surgery.
Wednesday morning was the surgery.
What made you want to donate your
kidney?
I had been thinking about this for some time.
I felt it would be an incredible opportunity if I
could do it and there was somebody out there
that needed it. You could literally save a life;
that’s what got me thinking about it. Then,
within the community, there was a drive by
Renewal, so I got swabbed. I didn’t match for
that specific person, however, I was called and
told I was a perfect match for somebody else.
That’s where the process started. We said we’d
like to continue to move forward with getting
tested and going through the whole process
and so here we are today.
How long was the whole process?
When I started with Renewal, it was
probably around April or May. The surgery
was originally going to be back in August,
however due to some health issues, it had
to be postponed and changed to this past
Wednesday.
Please walk us through the procedure.
First you get swabbed, which is a very
simple process. They swab your mouth,
which I did myself. Then, assuming you
have a match at that point, they tell you
about the process, which involves going
through certain testing at whatever hospital
your match is connected to. In my case it
was Mount Sinai. I went through several
Zoom interviews with social workers,
psychiatrists, psychologists, dieticians,
nephrologists, and nurses. Eventually, you
have to go through almost a full day of
physical testing: Cardiology, nephrology,
and lots of blood tests, and things like that.
The faster you keep moving through the
process, the faster they can determine if
you’re an acceptable match and they can set
up a date for surgery.
How did the surgery work out this past
Wednesday?
This past week, on Wednesday morning,
Renewal helped arrange for transportation
for my wife, Ellen, and I to get into the
city, to Mount Sinai. We got there around
5:30 and at that point I was registered into
the hospital. A nurse came in and asked a
few questions and at some point, shortly
thereafter, they brought me into the waiting
area at around 6:15. I had about a half hour
to daven shacharis. They then put me on a
bed, I met the anesthesiologist, and I got
to see my surgeon again. I’ve already met
him, but I saw him again that morning. I
also got a chance to meet the surgeon for
the recipient; he came over to say hello,
introduced himself to me, and said thank
you for what I was going to do. Then, they
took me into the operating room. I walked
into the operating room on my own, lay
down on the bed, and they hooked me up to
all sorts of machines. The next thing I knew,
I woke up in a recovery room.
How long were you in surgery?
Surgery normally takes about 3 hours or so,
but due to some things that went on during
surgery, which I obviously was not aware of,
mine took about five hours.
Did you have any requirements of your own
when you were donating that you requested
from Renewal?
For the most part, no. We had decided that
we didn’t want to know any details about the
person. We figured we’d let Hashem be the
judge as to who should get a kidney and not
my wife and I. The only question I did have
is whether the person was Jewish or not, but
other than that we had no questions about the
person.
Did you have any shailos that you had
discussed with your Rav before making this
commitment?
We found out on a Friday that I was a match,
and it happens to be that we were with one of
our kids for Shabbos and then our other kids
over the weekend, so we discussed it with
them. I also wanted to speak with a Rav just
to make sure halachically this was something
that I should be doing and was halachically
correct. I called the local Rav of our shul,
Rabbi Schwalb, and I spoke to him. He
basically told me that all the major Rabbanim
are in favor of doing this. It’s an incredible
opportunity that’s been given to me, and he
was so excited about it. At that point I was
comfortable with my decision and didn’t feel
that I needed to talk to any other Rav after
hearing what he said.
What was your family’s reaction when you
told them that you were going to be doing
this?
Ellen, my wife, was on board 100% from the
moment we found out, and we both agreed
that this is something that I would move
forward with. My kids were a little like wow,
but they were okay with it. My mom was not
happy with me because nobody likes to see
their kids go through surgery, but she kind of
understood why I was doing it. She did say
when it was cancelled and when we told her it
was rescheduled, that she was hoping I forgot
about it, which of course, obviously, I did not
forget about it. We really didn’t tell a lot of
people about this. We kept this very private. At
some point, we told our siblings on both sides
and everybody was wow. They all said that
they didn’t think they could do it themselves,
but they were somewhat in awe of the process
and what I was about to do.
Do you think your wife, Ellen, will join you
and do this one day?
As of now, the answer is no, she will not do
this one day. She has said that she wishes she
had the guts to do what I just did.
How long do you think you’re going to be
out of work?
I think because I have the ability to work from
home, I’ll probably be back to work on some
level next week, but full time, probably not for
at least a couple of weeks. It takes a little while
until you get back from surgery to recover.
Are you looking forward to meeting your
recipient?
That’s a great question. Ellen and I had told
Renewal that we would love to meet the recipient
at some point. We don’t know very much about
the recipient because we never asked. We did
find out that the recipient, I believe, lives in
Monroe and is married. We don’t know any
other information about their family, but it’s our
understanding from Renewal that they would
like to meet us at some point, too. Usually,
Renewal recommends waiting until everybody
feels healthy enough, so we’re not sure how
soon that will be, but we’re looking forward to
the opportunity to meet with them.
What are you most proud of from this
experience?
It’s funny, you know everybody’s telling
me that they’re in awe of what I did and
everybody’s calling me The Mitzvah Man
or whatever terms they’re using. I’m
generally not a shy person, but I’m a little
embarrassed. To me this was an opportunity
to help someone else. Hashem gave me two
healthy kidneys, Baruch Hashem, I can
live with one, and now Hashem gave me
the ability to share one of my kidneys with
somebody else that is going to be able to
have, hopefully, G-d willing, a long happy
life. That’s what means the most to me and
I am proud to be making a Kiddush Hashem.
Over Shabbos, when we were saying kiddush
Friday night, we realized that there’s a man in
Mount Sinai Hospital, that will i’yh be coming
home Sunday. He’s also saying kiddush and
realizing that his life has changed completely
because of something I was able to share with
him and that Hashem gave me the ability to
share. I give Hashem a lot of credit for giving
me the strength to do this, and that’s really
what it is. It also gave me the ability to have
ice cream for breakfast, which normally I
would never get to have, so that was a bonus.