05 Mar SPEAK YOUR VUES WITH THE VUES MASTER

TURN OFF THE PHONES
Dear Vues Master:
So I’m davening Shacharis in my shteeble
last week when it happened again. I was
really getting into my Shemoneh Esrei
with some extra special Kavanah due to
the current tragic situation in Eretz Yisroel
when inevitably someone’s cell phone starts
ringing! Now, it wouldn’t have been so bad if
it was just the old fashioned classic ringing,
I might have been able to ignore that, but
no, this guy had “Oh, When the Saints
Come Marching In “as his ringtone! Now,
had he immediately turned it off I might
have been able to resume my concentration
and continue davening but no, this genius
doesn’t know how to shut it off! Everyone
in Shul starts NUUUing and NEEEing but
to no avail! Louis Armstrong is already into
the second verse and everybody is looking
up and staring daggers at him when he
finally gives up trying to figure out how to
shut it off and decides to answer the phone.
“Hello, who is this” he yells loudly into the
phone, “Who? Fanny? Whaddaya want,
Speak louder, WHAT? I can’t hear you, I
left my hearing aid home! What? WHAT?
One dozen or two? WHAT? Cholov Yisroel?
Blue or red? WHAT’S THAT? Honey nut or
plain?I can’t talk now. I’m in shul davening!
GOODBYE! Thus 100+ men had their
concentration shattered and their Shemonah
Esrei ruined but at least we all knew what he
would be having for breakfast! But that was
only the Forshpice (appetizer)! A few days
later, after the Gabbai warned everybody to
silence their phones, some Yookle’s phone

went off this time playing “WHO LET THE
DOGS OUT?” Wouldn’t it be ironic but
appropriate if somebody’s ringtone would
play “THE SOUND OF SILENCE!”
Country Yossi
Vues Master’s Note: This letter sends me
vibrations!

NO RESTRICTIONS FOR ARABS
Dear Vues Master:
Itamar Ben Gvir had a great idea a couple
of weeks ago. He said no hostages, no Har
Habayit on Ramadan. Now it seems that they
are backing off of this great idea. Why? Are
they scared of world pressure again? A week
before Ramadan begins, the government
is expected to approve recommendations
from the IDF, police, and Shin Bet to
allow unrestricted access to Arab Israeli
worshipers at Har Habayis. Security chiefs
reportedly agree that sweeping restrictions
could exacerbate tensions from the Gaza
war, leading to the preliminary decision. A
final decision will be made in the next day or
so, with ongoing daily security assessments
throughout Ramadan. The Har Habayis is a
central flashpoint in the Israeli-Palestinian
conflict, and hundreds of thousands of
Muslims visit the site during Ramadan.
While Israel has imposed restrictions on
Palestinian access during heightened security
tensions, it has not imposed those rules on its
Muslim minority.
LP
Vues Master’s Note: As usual Israel likes
shooting itself in the foot!

WEINSTEIN RETIRING
Dear Vues Master:
Assemblywoman Helene Weinstein,
a 44-year incumbent representing
Flatbush, Midwood and Sheepshead
Bay, announced that she would not
run for re-election. Weinstein serves
as the chair of the powerful Assembly
Ways and Means Committee.
Councilman Kalman Yeger, who
serves in a council district overlapping
with Weinstein’s, announced that he
would run to succeed her in Albany.
I wonder who will be running now
to take over Councilman Yeagers
position?
DY
Vues Master’s Note: Maybe this time
Heshy Tishler will win!

BABE RUTH HESPED
Dear Vues Master:
One morning in 1948, during Rav
Chatzkel’s tenure as mashgiach at
the Mirrer Yeshivah in Brooklyn, he
walked into the yeshiva and noticed
a group of boys huddled in a corner
immersed in a discussion. When he
inquired what the tumult was all about,
he was informed by an American
bochur, “Didn’t the mashgiach hear?
Babe Ruth the famous baseball shpieler
died!” That evening after Maariv, Rav
Chatzkel addressed the yeshivah: “I
asked someone what the eulogizers
said about the groise baseball shpieler
at his levayah. Do you want to know
what they said? They said that since
he grew up in an orphanage, he spent
his life going out of his way to help
orphans.” Rav Chatzkel then raised
the tone of his voice “Do you realize
that his ‘gadulus’ in this world was
that he was a great baseball shpieler,
but at the levayah they talked about
how he took care of orphans? Afilu
a goy farshteit that after 120, in the
other world, baseball doesn’t count.
Life is all about what you do for other
people!” On Tuesday, 18 Adar, was
the 50th yahrtzeit of Rav Chatzkel
Levenstein.
AH

Vues Master’s Note: Nothing better
than a Mashgiach destroying
American culture!

TRUMP ON THE BALLOT
Dear Vues Master
The Supreme Court this past Monday
unanimously rejected efforts by some
states to declare former President
Donald Trump ineligible to run again
but was more divided over whether –
and how – anyone else could do so.
The justices also didn’t weigh in on

a central finding of Colorado’s now-
reversed decision: that he can’t run

because he “engaged in insurrection”
by trying to overturn the 2020 election
on Jan. 6, 2021. Former President
Donald Trump declared the decision
a “big win” while the challengers
called the ruling a “narrow, technical”
offramp that doesn’t tell the full story.
Vues Master’s Note: The fun is about
to begin!!!

TALLIS
Dear Vues Master:
A six year old went to the zoo with
his parents. When they passed by the
zebras, the boy excitedly said: “Look,
Jewish animals!” “Why do you think
they’re Jewish?” his mother asked.
“Because they’re wearing a tallis just
like Abba’s.”
MB
Vues Master’s Note: Must’ve been an
Ashkenaz had it been Sfardi the Zebra
would need to change its stripes!

MARRIAGE
Dear Vues Master:
The couple had just returned home
from dinner with friends when the
wife said to the husband “Do you
know what you did tonight?” “No,”
he answered, “but I’ll admit I was
wrong. What did I do?”
RA
Vues Master’s Note: Funny!!

ALL GOOD
Dear Vues Master:
There is a famous story in the

Gemara that there was a time when
the Yidden wished to bribe the Kaiser
and they decided that they would
send a chest full of precious stones.
They also decided that the man to
deliver this chest would be none
other than Nachum Ish Gamzoo. As
Nachum began his journey, he stayed
in a hotel overnight. That evening
some robbers took the chest, emptied
its contents and replaced it with
dirt. That morning Nachum awoke,
realized what had happened and
continued his journey to the Kaiser.
As the story goes, when Nachum
arrived, and attempted to bribe the
Kaiser, as his mission dictated, the
Kaiser was infuriated by the dirt in the
chest. Nochum then picked up some
dirt and threw it, and it turned into
arrows. The Kaiser was obviously
flabbergasted by the neis, and was
appeased, and Nachum’s mission
was accomplished. The question is
as follows. Why didn’t Nochum turn
around when he realized the precious
stones had been stolen? Why didn’t
he think to himself “the Abishter
obviously doesn’t want this mission
to succeed?” Why did he instead
continue on an obviously doomed
mission? The answer is that Nochum
only knew one concept, and that is
that everything is for our good. He
didn’t know any other way. If a person
can come to the realization that all
that the Abishter does for us is for our
good, even when we cannot at all see
the good, he will be able to always
move forward. The Abishter is Kuloi
Toiv. It is our limited understanding
that always gets in our way. Nochum
only knew of the Abishter’s good,
and that is how he lived every day,
with the complete trust that it is all
for the good.
EZ
Vues Master’s Note: This letter is
good!

I HEAR
Dear Vues Master:
There were once these two brothers

who were musicians. They not only
played, they were composers as well.
Nebach one day, they were near a
gas explosion, and it resulted in the
two of them losing their hearing,
r”l. One of the brothers decided that
he really couldn’t play or compose
anymore and so he would go into real
estate. The other, brother decided that
despite his inability to hear the music,
he would continue to compose and at
least bring happiness to those that
could hear his music. As the years
went on, this brother composed many
songs, that he was unable to hear.
Some days, he seriously questioned
why he even bothered, but he took
solace in the fact that he knew he was
bringing to joy to those that could
hear his beautiful music. One day,
the Abishter turned his life around.
The hearing aid was invented. He
quickly got outfitted for one, and
immediately began to play his own
music. He was blown away by the
beauty of his own composition. The
songs were gorgeous, and he was the
happiest person alive.. Sometimes we
go through life and we do things for
the Abishter in furthering our Avodas
Hashem. But we don’t really hear
the music. It’s there, but we can’t
hear it. Then one day, the Abishter,
in His own beautiful way, shows us
how gorgeous our Avodas Hashem
is. We have to stick with it, even on
the days where we feel down, He will
eventually show you how beautiful
your music is.
PL
Vues Master’s Note: Is that when they
invented the hearing aid?

JEWISH
Dear Vues Master:
A collector rang Mr. Gurstein’s
doorbell. Gurstein was a very wealthy
man who had never given money to
any Jewish cause. When he opened
the door, the collector explained
that the local Yeshiva was in dire
straits and that he was soliciting
much needed contributions. Gurstein

responded that he was not Jewish.
But, the collector said, our records
indicate that while you may not be
active in the Jewish community, you
are Jewish. No, Gurstein insisted,
“I’m not Jewish, my father isn’t
Jewish and my grandfather, alav
hashalom, wasn’t Jewish either.”
ZE
Vues Master’s Note: You can try to

hide but it is all out in the open!
SPONSORED
Dear Vues Master:
A little while ago there was a letter
about an out of town girl who was
in shidduchim, and she sponsored a
Mesechta in Kollel Zichron Naftali
sponsor-a-daf for a $1 a day, and
was redt 7 or 8 shidduchim in the
span of 2 weeks or something to
that effect. I think that you had
written back at the time, that she
should let you know when she
gets engaged. So I would like to
say – that I sponsored Mesechtas
Baba Kamma, and during the time
that it was being learned by my
Yissacher/Zevulun partner- a few
weeks ago- I got engaged BH! And
I will BEZH be getting married
in April! Thank You Hashem and
Thank You for printing that letter. I
hope all who need a Shidduch will
find theirs as well very soon!
C.N.
Vues Master’s Note: Mazel Tov!
Where and when is the wedding? I
want to go!

TEETH
Dear Vues Master:
The Kaf Hachayim tells us that
wearing tzitzis is a segulah for a
toothache. He doesn’t say to put
them in your mouth or to kiss them
or even to wear them. He merely
says that ציצית are a סגולה because
just as there are 32 teeth, there are 32
strands of ציצית. And while it’s not a
ראיה, there is a רמז in the Gemara,
.שיניים אוחזין בטלית with begins which
JT

Vues Master’s Note: Don’t bite off
more than you can chew!

TAILOR MADE
Dear Vues Master:
In the early 1900s, there lived in
Lithuania a pool tailor named
Mottel. Although he mended,
patched and pressed garments
for everyone in town, he himself
walked about in tatters. He would
even appear in Shul dressed like
a scarecrow, to the mortification
of the rabbi and the congregants.
“Mottel,” commented one of his
customers, “it’s disgraceful that
you, a tailor, should go around
in rags. Why don’t you repair
your own clothes?” “What can I
do?” the tailor responded. “I’m a
poor man and can only find time
to do work for which I am paid.”
The customer thought about the
explanation for a moment and his
face then brightened. “I have an
idea,” he said. “Consider me a new
customer. I am paying you right
now to fix your shabby suit. Just
remember, you’re doing it for a
paying customer.“ The following
week, the customer returned to the
shop, only to find that the tailor was
still still wearing the same old and
tattered clothing. “Look at you,”
he said to Mottel. “I paid you, but
you haven’t touched your clothes.”
“I’m afraid I’ll have to return your
money,” the tailor replied. “After
you left, I examined my suit very
carefully. Frankly, considering the
awful condition it’s in, I realized
that even with your generous
payment, I’d be losing money on
the job.”
DW
Vues Master’s Note: Can’t fix stupid!

AGE
Dear Vues Master:
A disrespectful young man was
teasing an elderly man about his age.
The older man responded by telling
him that it’s clear from the words of

When .זקן עדיף מצעיר that חכמים the
asked how, he responded: “That
I was once young is ודאי בחזקת.
But that you will be old is ספק
בחזקת and it’s a בגמרא ידוע כלל that
“.ברי ושמא, ברי עדיף
VT
Vues Master’s Note: Age is just a
number! And prison is just a room!

WHEEL OF MAZEL
Dear Vues Master
My family loves playing the Wheel
of Mazel in The Jewish Vues every
week but we especially loved last
week’s “Magidei Daf Yomi” topic.
We were all excited to see Rabbi
Yossi Gleiberman as one of the
answers.
Vues Master’s Note: We love
compliments & aim to please. Thank
you!

EIN OD MILVADO
Dear Vues Master
On a daily basis, sometimes
multiple times a day, I need to
remind myself that this entire war,
from beginning to end, is bigger
than me or you. I have to remind
myself to not view any of this as a
logical or rational chain of events.
If I view any of this through a
human lens, I might actually lose
my mind. Now the question of
why, why G-d does any of this, is
not a question I can answer. What I
can say is that if someone is going
to ask that question every time
something bad happens, then they
should at least be consistent and
recognize G-d when something
good happens. So if you don’t
thank your Creator when you
wake up in the morning, breathe
oxygen, or eat food, then don’t
be a hypocrite and ask about God
when bad things happen. Either
way, from the very beginning
of this war, from that very dark
day, through the rockets falling
into empty spaces, through the
Iron Dome doing its miraculous

work (we need to stop taking this
incredible miracle for granted.),
and every other event in this war, I
can’t help but recognize that none
of it makes any sense and while I
don’t know why He is doing any
of this or allowing any of this,
I see Him clearly in every new
development. This understanding
or faith helps me realize that while
the situation on the battlefield and
on the diplomatic stage can be
scary at times, while I wake up
pretty much daily expecting more
tragedy, I keep reminding myself
over and over that Ein Od Milvado.
Hillel Fuld
Vues Masters Note:Yes! Ein Od
Milvado.

AMALEK OF THIS
GENERATION
Dear Vues Master
This past Tuesday, Israeli mediators
received a message stating that
Sinwar insists on a full IDF
withdrawal from Gaza, the return
of displaced individuals to the
northern area of Gaza, and an
immediate cessation of hostilities as
prerequisites for any deal. Without
meeting these conditions, there can
be no agreement. How can we deal
with someone like this? How does
the world not see how messed up
this situation is? He is amalek.
DH
Vues Masters Note: B’chol dor vdor
there are always people that hate
us. The world is blind. We need the
geulah today.