12 Mar DO SOMETHING BY SAYING NOTHING

A few weeks ago, I was
travelling and davened
in a shul in another
community. In the
middle of davening, I
was trying to concentrate
on my conversation with
Hashem when I heard a voice loudly say,
“Hello.” It caught me off guard and I
wondered if Hashem was acknowledging my
prayers when I looked up and saw there was
someone wearing a tallis and tefillin talking
loudly on his phone.
Over the last five months, we have been
focusing on doing things in the zechus of our
brothers and sisters in Israel, but perhaps in
the merit of our brothers and sisters in Israel
we have been neglecting something that we
should not be doing.
Most communities have added Tehillim at
the end of davening, some have been saying
Avinu Malkeinu, others have taken on a new
practice or positive change. But possibly,
instead of going directly to adding, we should
focus on subtracting. The idea should be
simple: Let’s stop talking during davening,
let’s eliminate conversations among one
another, when we are supposed to be talking
to Hashem. Let’s leave our phone in the car or
put it on airplane mode when we walk into
shul so we can truly be present and focused,
especially in these moments that our tefillos
matter so much.
In the early 1600’s, Poland functioned as a
feudal land with landlords ruling over the
peasants who served them, causing great
resentment. Beginning in 1648, Bogdan
Chmielnicki led a rebellion against the
magnates and nobility claiming freedom and
territory for the Cossacks, peasants, and
outlaws he represented and led. In that period
of upheaval between 1648 and 1653, it is
estimated that some 300,000 Jews were killed,
representing 30% of the total Jewish
population of Eastern Europe. (Despite the
calls for cancellation and removing statues,
Chmielnicki remains a hero of the Ukrainians,
with a statue dedicated to him in Kiev).
Those massacres are known in our literature
as Gezeiras Tach V’tat, the decree of years
5408 and 5409. They are considered among
the most devastating in all of Jewish history.
Rav Yom Tov Lippman Heller (1579 – 1654),
known best for his commentary on Mishna
called Tosfos Yom Tov, lived during that time
in Prague and in Poland. The Chida writes
that it was revealed to the Tosfos Yom Tov
from Heaven that the terrible tragedy and loss
of life was associated with the talking that was
taking place during davening and the general
disrespect for Shul.
To be clear, we aren’t God and cannot and
should never engage in an effort to
categorically explain why things happen, but
the tragic and devastating loss of his day
inspired the Tosfos Yom Tov to suggest that
his generation reflect on how they could

improve their decorum and general respect for
davening and shul. In an effort to motivate
and incentivize his contemporaries to be more
vigilant about not talking during davening, the
Tosfos Yom Tov composed a MiShebeirach to
be recited for the benefit of those who don’t
speak during davening.
The Tosfos Yom Tov’s generation was in
crisis and rather than introduce something
new like saying extra Tehillim, he thought it
was critical to return to something old,
eliminating talking during davening.
While Baruch Hashem it is not of the
magnitude of Tach V’Tat, our generation is
confronting a profound crisis, fighting a real
war, and facing enemies around Israel and
embedded in countries around the world. We
can and we should add things in the hopes of
meriting the outcomes we desperately want,
but we must not forget to also subtract, to
remove, and eliminate our talking during
davening.
There are two reasons that now is the time to
be more careful with this. Firstly, as has long
been said, if you come to shul to talk, where
do you go to daven? With all our initiatives
and efforts, ultimately, we will only merit to
see the hostages come home, to win this war
and defeat the wishes of antisemites when
Hashem consents and enables. Each time we
daven, we are meant to genuinely and
desperately pour out our heart to Him, beg and
beseech Him to shower us with compassion,
hear our heartfelt pleas and intervene on our
behalf. The stakes are high, the moment is
great, and we cannot afford to be distracted or
unfocused.
Several centuries after the Tosfos Yom Tov,
the Chafetz Chaim, (Mishna Berura 124:27)
quoting the Kol Bo, warned us further of the
danger of speaking during davening: “Woe to
the people who speak during davening. We
saw several Shuls destroyed because of this
sin. There should be people appointed to
work on this issue.” The Shulchan Aruch, (OC
124:7) discussing the terrible aveira of talking
during Chazaras Hashatz uses the expression,
“v’gadol avono mi’neso — his sin is too great
to bear,” the only place in his extensive code
of Jewish law that he uses that phrase.
The Chasam Sofer (Derashos 2:309) writes
that only Shuls that are homes of prayer, not
conversation, will be rebuilt in Israel when
Moshiach comes. The Tzlach, R’ Yechezkel
Landau, writes, “There is no greater rebellion
against the King of the world than to speak in
His sanctuary, in His presence. Speaking
during davening is like placing an idol in the
Temple.”
The Piskei Teshuvos (124:7) tells us that
when one speaks during Chazaras Hashatz,
not only has one caused that his own tefillos
will not be accepted, but one has also caused
that the tefillos of others will not be accepted.
Therefore, if one knows himself; that he will
be unable to remain silent, it is better that he

should not come to shul at all,
rather than be “a sinner who
causes others to sin.”
Have you ever been talking to
someone and they pull out their
phone and start typing or reading
something they received?
Forcing someone to compete for
your attention is aggravating,
obnoxious, and rude. While
Hashem doesn’t have human
feelings, we demonstrate our
attitude in our relationship with
Him if we make Him compete for
our attention, if we are talking to
others while He is “standing”
before us in the middle of a
conversation with Him.
There is a second reason for us
to be careful right now. Putting a
bigger-picture spin on the old
phrase mentioned above: If you come to shul
to talk, where should your friends and
neighbors go to daven? The place we come to
daven is called a כנסת בית, a hall to assemble
and congregate. We draw energy from one
another, we come to connect with one another.
But there are times to greet one another,
moments to connect and commune, and there
are times to be focused exclusively on our
conversation with Hashem.
There are two parts of davening in which
talking is prohibited altogether, and at a
minimum, now more than ever, we should
make great efforts to stay silent during these
times:
One may not talk from Borchu until the end
of the chazzan’s repetition at Shacharis and
from the beginning of the silent Amidah
through the repetition at both Mussaf and
Mincha.
Kaddish is among our holiest prayers. It can
only be said in the presence of a minyan and is
so significant that if given the choice between
answering Kedusha or Kaddish, the Mishna
Berura (56:6) says one should choose to
answer Kaddish. The Talmud (Berachos 57a)
teaches that one who replies “Yehei shmei
rabbah…” can rest assured that he has a place
in the Next World.
Not talking during these parts of davening is
mandated by Halacha and non-negotiable.
But, even for those who don’t connect to
davening, don’t feel they are in the presence
of the Almighty, or don’t feel bound by these
particular laws, not talking during these parts
of davening is simply what any decent person
would do.
Talking during these parts of davening is not
only disrespectful to God, it is also unkind,
insensitive, and even cruel to those trying to
offer heartfelt and focused prayers. It is a
gross bein adom l’chaveiro violation. Social
norms have trained us not to during a show, an
opera, or a movie, no matter how bored or
distracted we might be. How could we

entertain talking when people around you are
in the middle of a conversation with Hashem,
even if you are done? It is hard enough to
connect with our prayers, to concentrate on
the words and to feel we have experienced an
intimate rendezvous with our Creator in the
best of circumstances. To do it while people
in our vicinity are chatting away is nearly
impossible.
Not talking until the conclusion of Chazaras
HaShatz, including the time between when we
finish our silent Amidah and we are waiting
for the chazzan, is doable, it is realistic, it is a
fair expectation of those attending and it is the
minimum to be respectful of our friends and
neighbors.
When mourners recite Kaddish, they are
paying tribute to their lost loved one. When
others around them are talking, it is not only
rude and unkind, it is an affront to the memory
of their family member. We can and must all
make an effort to listen quietly and answer
enthusiastically when Kaddish is being
recited.
Right after October 7, one of our BRS
members, Yudi Arem, created a WhatsApp
group (click to join) for those who have
committed to not talk during davening in the
merit of our brothers and sisters in Israel.
Originally, he was hoping for 40 to sign up but
the group quickly maxed out at over 1,000
members and other groups have opened to
accommodate the now thousands of people all
over the world who have made this pledge and
are part of a holy effort to strengthen theirs
and each other’s davening through taking on
this commitment. Join, if not forever, certainly
for now.
The bottom line is this – klal Yisroel needs
your help. Please join the movement and
commit to not talk minimally during these
points of davening. Turn off your technology
and turn on your connection to Hashem.
In that merit, may all our prayers be answered
for good and may we merit