30 Jul MASEH: GENERATING POSITIVITY

Parashat Maseh
discusses the subject of
Arei Miklat – the “cities
of refuge” which were to
be designated for the
purpose of protecting
people who killed somebody by
accident. Angry relatives of the victim
might want to murder the killer, and so
the Torah commanded setting aside
special cities where the killer could
escape to and be protected from the
victim’s relatives seeking revenge.
Included in this mitzvah is a
requirement to post signs directing
people to these cities. In order to ensure
that the accidental killer could reach
the Arei Miklat swiftly and easily,
without too much trouble or delay, the
authorities were to put up signs
throughout the country showing the
way to these cities.
Rav Aharon Kotler raised the question
of why there is no requirement to put
up signs directing people to

Yerushalayim and the Bet
Ha’mikdash. Three times a year – on
Pesach, Shavuot and Sukkot – there
was an obligation of Aliyah L’Regel, to
go to the Bet Ha’mikdash. People
would also go there on other occasions,
when they needed to bring a
sacrifice. Why would the Torah make a
point of requiring signs directing
accidental killers to the Arei Miklat –
something which, hopefully, was not
needed very often – but did not require
signs to help people each time they
needed to go to the Bet Ha’mikdash,
which happened at least three times a
year?
Rav Kotler gave what I believe is a
very important and relevant answer.
He explained that if there were no
signs to the Arei Miklat, then the killer
would need to ask people along the
road for directions. They would then
likely start asking him what happened,
and he would have to tell them about
how he tragically caused somebody’s

death. The Torah wants to minimize
negative talk, and so it required placing
signs, such that the killer would not
have to get into this conversation. When
somebody is traveling to the Bet
Ha’mikdash, however, the Torah
specifically wants him to speak to
people and tell them where he’s
going. They will respond
enthusiastically, wishing him a happy
Yom Tov, and talking about the
privilege of seeing the Bet
Ha’mikdash. The Torah did not want
signs directing people to the Bet
Ha’mikdash so that they will ask for
directions, leading to an upbeat, joyous
conversation about the Bet Ha’mikdash.
A crucial part of creating and
maintaining a nurturing home
environment, in which our children can
thrive, is generating positivity and
avoiding negativity. We need to try, as
much as possible, to avoid negative
comments and complaints, and to
instead shower our children with
compliments and praise. We should

keep criticism to a minimum, and speak
positively as much as we can. This is
the kind of environment the Torah
wants us to create as a nation, and this
is the kind of environment that every
family needs to create in their home. It
is such an environment in which our
children will feel safe, secure, loved,
cherished and valued, a feeling which
is necessary for them to grow and
develop into the outstanding,
accomplished people that they are
capable of becoming.