30 Sep SOPHISTICATED TESHUVAH

We all know Rosh
Hashanah is the Day of
Judgement, when our
fate is written up and
our yearly sustenance
is decided. But Rosh
Hashanah is also the
first day of the Ten Days of Repentance
and one of the main reasons for the
mitzvah of shofar is to raise the alarm to
galvanize us to repent before it’s too late
for the seal on Yom Kippur.
The Chidushei HaRim, zt”l, zy”a,
explains that the holiday is called Yom
Teru’ah, a Day of the Shofar Blast. This
is even though the entire shofar service
takes up no more than 45 minutes of the
day. Yet, this highlights how important
a part of Rosh Hashanah is to alarm us
to get busy with the work of teshuvah, to
change and improve. Furthermore, since
Rosh Hashanah is the first day of the year,
we want to get the year off on the right
foot with improvement and change.
In our daily prayer, we ask Hashem,
“V’hachazireinu biseshuvah sheleimah
lefonecha – Help us return to You with
a perfect teshuvah.” What do we mean

by a perfect teshuvah? Rav Chatzkel
Abramsky, zt”l, zy”a, explains that the
garden variety of repentance is to regret
our sin and to refrain from doing it
again. This is indeed a very praiseworthy
accomplishment. However, a teshuvah
sheleimah, a perfect repentance is when
we accomplish the directive of yaazov
rasha darko, let the wicked forsake his
ways. This means not just to refrain from
the sin but to diagnose the root of why we
do the sin and eradicate that as well.
Let me give you an example. A person,
to his chagrin, realizes that he doesn’t
say Modah Ani in the morning. Regular
teshuvah is to regret this and to strengthen
himself to be more careful in the future. A
perfect teshuvah is when he realizes that
the reason why he forgets it in the first
place is because he’s not thinking enough
about Hashem. The state of awareness
of shvisi Hashem l’negdi somid, to
have Hashem before me at all times, is
not the way he lives. Likewise, v’chol
derachecha da’eihu, in all your ways
you should acknowledge Him, is not the
default position of his mind. Working to
change this is a teshuvah sheleimah.

Here’s another example.
A person, after making a
cheshbon hanefesh, a personal
accounting, realizes that he’s
not visiting his parents enough,
calling them regularly, or
finding enough opportunities
to give them nachas. Regular
teshuvah is to confess and
regret this serious omission
and commit to do better in the
future. A teshuvah sheleimah
is when we correctly diagnose
that our dereliction in this
important area of life stems
from a lack of hakaros hatov, gratitude
to our parents for making our existence
possible and for all they did for us when
we were young.
Yet another example: A person realizes
that he’s guilty of trampling on the Tenth
Commandment of lo sachmod, not to
covet and be jealous of what someone
else has. Regular teshuvah is to regret
such jealous behavior and to commit to
try to be better. A teshuvah sheleimah
is to come to the realization of what we
say every morning: She’asa li kol tzarki,
that Hashem makes for me all that I
need. The extras that we see by other
people, although they look enticing,
could very well be detrimental to our
life. For example, if we had a bigger
house, perhaps our wives would feel
more pressure and become shrewish.
If we had a swimming pool, perhaps
someone would, G-d forbid, drown. If
we had that coveted promotion, perhaps
we would have sleepless nights from
the stress. Furthermore, maybe the
European first-class six-star hotel that
our neighbor goes to is deducting from
his portion of eternity. Surely, this is
something that we certainly don’t want
to be jealous about.
Let me give you another example. We
come to realize that we are saying the
first blessing of the Shemone Esrei,
Magein Avraham, without kavanah,
concentration. (About this lack of
kavanah, the Shulchan Orech says that
we really should have to say the entire
Shemone Esrei over again. The Rama,
zt”l, zy”a, says however that we don’t
repeat it since we probably wouldn’t
have proper kavanah even when we
say it again.) Regular teshuvah is
to regret this shameful neglect when
we’re standing before Hashem and to
commit ourselves to pay more attention.
A teshuvah sheleimah is when we
diagnose that this lack of attention stems

from the fact that we need to work on da
lifnei Mi attah omeid, to realize more
acutely before Whom we stand. When
we concretize and crystalize in our minds
that we are talking to Hashem, it will be
much less likely that we will become
distracted and start to daydream during
our davening.
Still another example of a teshuvah
sheleimah is when a person realizes that
they are guilty of talking in shul. Regular
teshuvah consists of regretting doing
the crime about which the Shulchan
Orech describes as gadol avon miniso, a
sin that’s too great to bear. A teshuvah
sheleimah is when we are brutally honest
with ourselves and realize that we are
lacking in the belief that our prayers really
make a difference in the quality of our life
and that we can indeed greatly enhance
the quality of our life with concentrated
prayer.
This type of spiritual forensic activity
can be used for every type of crime that
we do teshuvah upon. In the merit of our
bettering ourselves, may Hashem better
our lives, and let me take this opportunity
to wish my wonderful readers and your
families a New Year of good health,
happiness, and everything wonderful.