12 Nov VAYERA: THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD

The Derech Hashem
Runs Down the Middle
of the Road
The Rambam writes in
Hilchos Dayos that
there are different types
of people in the world,
each with their own
characteristics and opinions. There is a person
who is quick to lose his temper and gets
exceedingly angry. There is another person who
is very calm and loses his temper very
infrequently, if ever. One person is very haughty,
another is very humble. One person has an
insatiable appetite for all kinds of physical
pleasures, while another has minimal physical
needs. One person is exceedingly generous,
another is very stingy. With all these middos there
are people all along the spectrum, from one
extreme to the other.
The Rambam writes that in each instance, both
extremes of a particular personality trait are not
the proper way. To be an extremist in any middah
[singular for middos] is not good. A person
should not “fly off the handle” all the time, but
sometimes a person must employ anger; a person
should not give away all his money, but neither
should he be exceedingly tight fisted, and so on.
The proper way, the Rambam writes, is the
“Golden Mean” – the middle road. Each
personality trait has a point equidistant between

the two extremes that is most fitting and
appropriate for proper behavior.
The Rambam says that this approach of the
“Golden Mean” is called “Derech Hashem” [the
path of G-d] by the Torah. This is what Avraham
taught his descendants.
Where do we see that Avraham Avinu taught his
children that they should always take this “middle
approach?” The Rambam cites the pasuk in our
parsha, “For I have cherished him because he
commands his children and his household after
him that they keep the way of Hashem [Derech
Hashem], doing charity and justice, in order that
Hashem might bring upon Avraham that which
He had spoken of him.” [Bereishis 18:19]
Where did the Rambam see this principle in this
pasuk? Normally, whenever the Rambam cites a
proof from a text, it is precise. The implication is
usually clearly spelled out in the scriptural
pesukim he quotes. Here, we are puzzled: How
does this pasuk indicate that a person should
conduct himself according to the “Golden
Mean?”
The answer is that when the Rambam says that
we need to approach life going down the middle
path, he does not mean that a person ALWAYS
needs to take the middle approach. The Rambam
means that a person’s attitude is equidistant from
the two extremes, and that when the time comes,
the person can employ one extreme or the other,
as appropriate for the circumstances. It does not

mean that we always take the middle road.
We do not say, when an urgent request for charity
arrives, “Well, normally I respond to Tzedakah
requests by giving the requestor $100, and even
though this fellow has a desperate need, I give
everybody $100, so I will give him $100 as well.”
The same applies in the case of a fellow who
gives less. We do not want him to say, “I give $2
to everybody so I will likewise give this case of
urgent and desperate need $2.” Sometimes it is
appropriate to write a check for $100, sometimes
it is appropriate to write a check for $1,000 and
sometimes it is appropriate to write a check for
$2. There are situations which call for me to be
overly generous, and there are also situations
which call upon me to recognize that the person
asking for the donation does not really need it.
The Golden Mean does not mean (no pun
intended) that “one size fits all.” It means that a
person should position himself in the middle of
the road so that he can employ – when the
situation calls for it – extremes in either direction.
It is not correct that a person should absolutely
never get angry. Sometimes you need to get
angry – at least “facial anger” if not “anger in the
heart” (i.e. – demonstrate by facial expression
your extreme displeasure, if not actually losing
your temper over the matter).
There are times when we must “pursue peace”;
other times we must take a firm stand and be
uncompromising. Our “default position” should

be the middle of the road – that way we will be
flexible enough to act at either end of the spectrum
when the situation calls for it.
We learn this from Avraham as a result of the
pasuk saying that Hashem knew that Avraham
commanded the members of his house to engage
in Tzedaka and Mishpat [charity and justice].
These two terminologies are fundamentally
mutually exclusive. Tzedaka implies that it is not
strict justice (Mishpat). On the other hand,
Mishpat is not charity. The resolution of this
ambiguous statement is that there is a time for
Tzedaka and a time for Mishpat. Avraham
commanded his family to position themselves in
the middle-of-the-road default position so that
they would be able to engage in Tzedaka when
appropriate and – on the other hand – in Mishpat
when that was appropriate.
When Hashem told Avraham to chase away
Hagar, “execution of the law pierces the
mountain” (i.e. – it was not a time to be merciful,
it was a time to carry out Hashem’s command).
At other times, charity and compassion are more
appropriate. This is where the Rambam derives
the idea of the Derech Hashem being the approach
of Avraham Avinu and being the path in life
known as the “Golden Mean.”