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    24 Dec DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

    Posted at 18:46h in by
    0 Likes

    Dear Rabbi and Shira ,
    Hi. I’m a weekly reader of your column. I figured this was the right place to ask my question. On my friend’s very first date, she
    got in a fight with the person she was set up with. It got so bad that he pulled over on one of the service roads of Ocean Parkway and
    demanded she get out of the car. While there are scarier possibilities that could have happened, I started to wonder what are “best
    practices” that one should utilize while dating. -Seeking Safety in Brooklyn

    Dear Seeking Safety,
    This is an important conversation
    to have. As much as we like to
    assume that everyone is going to be
    respectful of boundaries and date in
    the healthiest way, we should always
    exercise care in how we date and
    interact to ensure everyone’s safety.
    Trust your intuition– Your mind is
    processing and scanning all the time,
    and sometimes will pick up on cues
    that something is not safe. If you feel
    something is off, it probably is.
    Stand your ground– If a request
    to do something, makes you
    uncomfortable, express it. If the
    question being asked is inappropriate,

    you don’t have to answer it. It might
    be uncomfortable especially if you
    don’t know the person well, but
    you’re are entitled to stick to your
    principles.
    Keep contact– Let your family know
    where you are and where you are
    going. Make sure your cell phone
    is fully charged before you leave for
    your date.
    Date in a public place, where there
    are plenty of people. A good litmus
    test can be- is this location and
    situation appropriate to the laws of
    yichud? These laws were created to
    ensure that when there is a meeting
    between two people, there are plenty

    of witnesses and people are less likely
    to act inappropriately.
    Open your own beverages, don’t
    share or exchange drinks, don’t drink
    anything which tastes unusual. As
    stated above, most people are nice,
    normal and respectful, but always be
    vigilant.
    Get home safe– If you are the person
    who is driving home, make sure that
    your date gets into their home safely.
    If they drop you off, make sure that
    they arrive home safely.
    Good luck and stay safe.
    Rabbi Reuven and Shira Boshnack.