31 Dec VAYIGASH: CONNECTING OUR MINDS TO OUR HEARTS

Parashat Vayigash tells the
dramatic story of Yosef’s
revealing his identity to his
brothers. In the years after
they sold him a slave, Yosef
miraculously rose to the
position of vizier in Egypt.
When the brothers came many years later to
purchase grain from Egypt, they would never
have imagined that the Egyptian ruler before
whom they stood was their brother. Now,
Yosef finally told his brothers who he was.
After Yosef revealed his identity, the Torah
tells, “Yosef fell on Binyamin’s neck and
cried, and Binyamin cried on Yosef’s neck”
(45:14).
This pasuk seems rather straightforward.
Yosef and Binyamin were the only two sons
of Rachel, and they thus felt a special bond
with one another. This was an exceedingly
emotional moment for them, as they were
finally reunited, and so naturally, they
embraced and wept.
Rashi, however, teaches us that they cried for
a different reason. Yosef foresaw that the Bet
Ha’mikdash, which would, centuries later, be
built in the territory of the tribe of Binyamin,
would twice be destroyed. And Binyamin
foresaw that the Mishkan in the town of Shilo,
which is the region of the tribe of Efrayim,
one of Yosef’s sons, would be destroyed. This

is why they cried. Yosef cried for Binyamin’s
“neck” – the Bet Ha’mikdash – and Binyamin
cried for Yosef’s “neck” – the Mishkan in
Shilo.
Rashi’s comments require explanation. Why
would Yosef and Binyamin be crying over
these future tragedies right now, at this
dramatic, emotional moment? And why are
the Mishkan and Bet Ha’mikdash symbolized
by the neck?
Yosef and Binyamin understood that although
the brothers have now achieved reconciliation,
and the hatred and jealousy of the past had
been forgotten, this was not going to be the
end of the story, the end of the tragic Sinat
Chinam (baseless hatred) among our people.
Centuries later, Hashem would destroy the
Mishkan and the Bet Ha’mikdash because the
unfortunate story of Yosef and his brothers
would be repeated. Instead of celebrating and
rejoicing in other people’s success, we would,
sadly, feel jealous and resentful of one
another, just as Yosef’s brothers envied and
resented him. These feelings of hostility
would cause a great deal of pain and
devastation, just as it did to Yosef’s family.
This is why they cried.
The neck marks the point of connection
between the head and the heart. It symbolizes
the need for the mind to step in and control
our emotions. The key to curing the ill of

Sinat Chinam is the “neck” – exercising
reason when we feel angry, embittered or
resentful. The way we repair the destruction
wrought by Sinat Chinam is through the
“neck,” by never allowing the heart to be
isolated from the mind.
We are all human beings, and so we are going
to at times, or even often, feel jealous. When
we see or hear of somebody going on a luxury
vacation that we cannot afford, or buy a car or
summer home that we cannot afford, it is only
natural to feel jealous. When somebody with

older singles hears about his friend’s twenty-
year-old daughter getting engaged, it is

natural to feel jealous. Other people’s success
in areas in which we struggle will make us
feel envious and perhaps resentful. We must
realize that there is nothing wrong with
feeling this way. There is nothing wrong with
being human!
But our obligation at such times is to put the
“neck” into action – to use our minds to
control our reactions and the way we handle
the situation. And when we think about it
rationally, we realize that another person’s
success does not really affect us in any way.
There is no logical reason why other people’s
good fortune should make us feel unhappy or
dissatisfied with our lives. And, using our
minds, we recognize that Hashem runs the
world and gives us all precisely what we need,

precisely when we need it. Rationally, there is
no reason for jealousy or resentment. The
heart is going to feel this way – but when it
does, we need to activate the mind to
counteract the negative feelings.
The ability to do this is truly life-altering. Life
becomes so much happier and more enjoyable
when we are able to celebrate other people’s
successes, when we are able to genuinely
rejoice in the good fortune of our peers. If we
allow our feelings of envy to fester, then we
will never be happy. There will always be
people with blessings that we do not have, and
if we let this bother us, we will be miserable
all the time. One of the greatest gifts we can
give ourselves is the ability to be happy for
other people’s success, to treat their good
fortune as our good fortune. This is how we
cure the ill of Sinat Chinam, and to live
happily and joyously at all times.