21 Apr PARSHAS ACHREI MOS: FOOD IN A SHIVAH HOUSE

And Hashem spoke
to Moshe after the
death of Aharon’s
two sons, when they
drew close to the
presence of Hashem
and they died.

Vayikra 16:1
Introduction
Due to the Jewish community’s generosity
and desire to help others during difficult
times, it is common for people to provide
large amounts of food for families and
individuals who are sitting shiva. There is
often far too much food for the aveilim to
consume, and they offer it to visitors and
ask them to take it home so that it doesn’t
go to waste. A somewhat less common
scenario entails someone who lives alone
and after his death leaves behind a freezer
stocked with edible foods, leading his
family to ask whether they are permitted to
benefit from what they find.
The Source
The issue of removing food from a beis
avel is not mentioned in the Mishnah,
Gemara, rishonim, or Shulchan Aruch. It is
first discussed in Rebbi Akiva Eiger’s
commentary on the Shulchan Aruch (YD
376:4). He writes that there is a minhag not
to remove anything – large or small – from
a shivah house for the entire duration of
shivah, since a ruach hatumah rests over
the shivah house during this period. The
Aruch HaShulchan (376:11) quotes this
minhag among a group of many other
widely observed practices relating to death
and aveilus (including not handing the
shovel directly to another person during the
kevurah and not handing the washing cup
directly to another person when leaving the
cemetery). Thus, it seems that this minhag
is fairly widely observed.
On the other hand, it seems extremely
wasteful to simply throw out a large surplus
of food in order to observe a minhag that
has no basis in Chazal. Additionally, the
minhag is not to take anything, which
would seemingly include mitzvah items or
sefarim that the aveilim want to give
visitors in the merit of their deceased
relative.
Three Approaches
There are three basic approaches among
the poskim as to how one should deal with
this dilemma, when one must choose
between observing a minhag and avoiding
waste.

1. Rav Ovadiah Yosef (Yabia Omer 4,
YD 35), after citing all of the relevant
sources, concludes that one who
chooses to ignore the minhag is within
his rights to do so. This view is cited
by Rav Yitzchak Yosef as well (Yalkut
Yosef 11:8).
2. On the other extreme, Rav Menashe
Klein (Mishneh Halachos 7:206) cites
the minhag and writes that one should
not overlook any minhag Yisrael; it
must be observed exactly as it is
recorded.
3. Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach
(Minchas Shlomo 2:99) points out that
this is not a universally accepted
minhag. He notes that the Sefer Yosef
Ometz (162, citing Rav Segal) records
that this minhag is a mistake and has
no legitimate basis. Rav Auerbach
therefore rules that one can be lenient
for items that are not specific for use in
the beis avel, adding that one can
certainly use money that is found there
to pay the deceased’s debts and to give
tzedakah.
We can suggest that this might apply to
extra food as well, since it will in any event
not remain in the beis avel, but will rather
be thrown in the garbage. This is the middle
approach – that one should not ignore the
minhag but does not have to follow it for
everything.
Possible Proof for Leniency
A possible proof that one may take food
from a shivah house may be found in a
Gemara in Mo’ed Katan (27b). The Gemara
records that an avel may not eat from his
own food during the first day of his aveilus;
instead, the community must provide food
for him (known as a seudas havra’ah).
The Yerushalmi (Mo’ed Katan 3:5)
emphasizes that it reflects terribly on the
neighbors if an avel has to eat from his own
food. Indeed, the Bavli records that Rabba
and Rav Yosef were aveilim at the same
time, and they traded meals with one
another so that neither would eat from his
own food. This seems to indicate that they
had no problem removing food from a
shivah house, since each one took food
from his own shivah house and gave it to
the other.
However, one can reject this proof as
insufficient, since the reason not to remove
items from a shiva house is due to the ruach
hatumah that resides there, and in this case,
the food was being brought to another
shivah house, and therefore, there was no

reason for concern.
Bringing Food to a Shivah
House
One is obviously permitted to
deliver food to a beis avel for
the seudas havra’ah, as this is
a chiyuv on the neighbors. Is it
permissible to continue this
practice for the remainder of
shivah? Rav Moshe Feinstein
(Igros Moshe, YD 2:168) cites
Rav Yechezkel Halberstam,
who writes that one should not
necessarily send food, for two
reasons. First, one is not
permitted to send gifts to a
beis avel (which is why one
cannot deliver mishloach
manos to an avel on Purim).
Second, this is a practice that
is copied from the non-Jews.
Apparently, there was never a practice
among European Jews to send food to a
shivah house following the seudas
havra’ah.
Rav Moshe responds that while it is true
that he had never seen this practice in
earlier times, he does not see any issur
involved in sending food. He cites the
Gemara in Mo’ed Katan cited above, which
lists what wealthy people would deliver to
shivah houses. Although it can be argued
that this refers to the seudas havra’ah alone,
that is not the simple indication of the
Gemara. Thus, it seems that delivering
items to a shivah house is a longstanding
Jewish practice. Furthermore, the
Rambam’s description of seudas havra’ah
(Hilchos Avel 4:9) seems to indicate that
the meal was instituted at least partially so
that people would deliver food to the avel
and then stay for a visit. If that is the
motivation, it makes sense that we would
want to encourage more people to visit the
avel and be menachem him, as that mitzvah
applies throughout the shivah, and having
people bring food accomplishes this goal.
Rav Moshe adds that the Beis Yosef (378),
citing the Rosh, maintains that the reason
for the seudas havra’ah is so that the
neighbors will encourage the avel to eat
something, so that he doesn’t starve in his
saddened state, and this reason applies
throughout the entirety of shivah.
Similarly, Rav Moshe rejects the
comparison to the issur to send gifts to an
avel, since that refers to congenial acts of
friendship, while sending food is an act of
comfort and support to enable the avel can
concentrate on the shivah and the many

visitors he will likely be receiving.
Regarding the fact that this practice might
originate from non-Jews, Rav Moshe
points out that there is no issur of chukos
akum in this case. The Rema (YD 178)
limits the prohibition of imitating chukos
akum to those practices that do not have a
valid reason, are extremely immodest, or
are based on avodah zarah. None of those
parameters would apply to the very
reasonable and positive practice of
supporting aveilim in their time of need.
Even according to the Gra, who has a
broader understanding of chukos akum,
one violates the issur only if he is doing the
action in order to copy the non-Jewish
practice. While it may be true that the
Jewish people adopted this custom because
they saw non-Jews doing it, they are not
intending to copy them but are learning
compassion from them and applying it to
caring for aveilim.
Conclusion
It seems that it is a very positive practice to
provide food for a shivah house. The
question of whether one may take food
from a shivah house is subject to a
machlokes haposkim. Rebbi Akiva Eiger
holds one should not take anything from
the house during the shivah, while the
Yosef Ometz rejects this minhag entirely.
Modern-day poskim are divided as to
whether one should fully observe the
minhag, but in order to avoid wasting large
amounts of food, it would seem
commendable that it be sent to those who
can benefit from it. Notably, once the
shivah is complete, everyone agrees that
one may take anything from the house, as
the ruach hatumah is no longer present.