29 Dec Parashat Vayechi: Resisting Negative Influences

The Torah tells in Parashat Vayechi of the blessings Yaakov bestowed upon his children before his passing. Surprisingly, even before he assembles his sons to bless them, he confers a special blessing upon two of his grandsons – Efrayim and Menashe, Yosef’s two sons. Rabbi Yaakov Kaminetzky raised the question of why Yaakov would single out two of his many grandsons to receive a special blessing. One of the clearest lessons that emerge from the entire story of Yosef and his brothers is the dangers of affording preferential treatment to one son over the others. After all, it was Yaakov’s preferential treatment of Yosef that aroused the brothers’ jealousy in the first place, which ultimately resulted in his sale as a slave to Egypt. How, then, could Yaakov allow himself to single out two of his grandsons, Efrayim and Menashe, rather than bestowing this blessing upon all his grandchildren?

Rabbi Kaminetzky explained that Efrayim and Menashe required a special blessing because of the surroundings in which they were born and raised. Yaakov’s other grandchildren were born and raised in the Land of Israel, in the company of their righteous grandfather and uncles. They received a Torah education and grew in an environment characterized by religious values and spirituality. Yosef’s children, on the other hand, were raised in Egypt, the most corrupt and immoral civilization of the ancient world. They were the only Jews in a culture of depravity and promiscuity, and undoubtedly this atmosphere affected them to some extent. Rabbi Kaminetzky suggested that the name “Efrayim” itself perhaps give some indication of a small measure of Egyptian influence on Yosef’s family. Several Egyptian names with which we are familiar from Chumash – such as Tzofnat Panei’ach, Potifar and Shifra – contain some or all of the three letters “Peh,” “Ayin” and “Resh” – the three main letters of the title “Pharaoh.” It appears that Egyptians often chose names with these letters for the purpose of drawing an association to Pharaoh. The name Efrayim, too, contains the letters “Peh” and “Resh,” suggesting that, to one extent or another, Yosef’s family came under Egyptian influence.

And this should not surprise us. The Rambam, in one of his Halachot, writes, “The way a person is created is that he is drawn in thought and action after his peers and colleagues, that he acts in accordance with the behavior of the people of his locale.” Influence from one’s surroundings is a natural force, as automatic as gravity. It is human nature. The Rambam therefore urges one to live among upstanding people, who will impact upon him positively, and warns against living among sinful people, because of the dangerous negative influences to which one will then become subject.

According to the “Migdal Oz” commentary, the Rambam’s source for this Halacha is the position of Bet Hillel recorded in the Talmud (Masechet Ketubot 17) as to how one compliments a bride at a wedding. Bet Hillel holds that one should sing, “Kalla Na’a Va’chasuda” (“An attractive, graceful bride”), regardless of her appearance. Apparently, Bet Hillel felt that even if a bride is unattractive, and she knows she is unattractive, she will nevertheless rejoice over receiving a compliment on her beauty. So strong is the influence of other people’s opinions that a person will take seriously even comments he knows to be insincere. That Bet Hillel advocates complimenting an unattractive bride on her beauty, despite the clear insincerity of such a compliment, demonstrates just how affected we are by what others think.

Yet another example of the power of external influence can be seen in an experiment conducted in a university, by a professor who drew two lines on a blackboard, one two full inches shorter than the other. He then brought to the room seven students, six of whom had been informed ahead of time of the experiment. The professor asked each of the six to identify the shorter of the two lines, and they – as they had been instructed – pointed to the longer line and identified it as the shorter one. In 60% of the cases, the seventh student went along with his peers and pointed to the wrong line, despite seeing with his own eyes that it was actually longer. And among the 40% who insisted on the correct response, 30% changed their minds after being pressured and ridiculed by the others. Meaning, people are willing to think and speak irrationally, and in opposition to the plain and obvious reality they see before them, in order to conform to social trends.

It therefore behooves us to exercise extreme care in choosing the environments to which we allow ourselves and our children to be exposed. This lesson is of particular importance this time of year, during which many people customarily leave on vacation. One must be aware of the profound influence his surroundings exert upon him, and avoid settings and environments that compromise his spiritual standards.

Yaakov bestowed a special blessing upon Efrayim and Menashe, praying that they should be successful in resisting the threatening influences to which they had been subject since birth. The results of Yaakov’s blessing could be seen in the heroism of Efrayim’s descendant, Yehoshua, who defiantly opposed his ten colleagues with whom he had scouted the Land of Israel. The ten spies, prominent and respected leaders of the people, decided to speak negatively about the Land, whereas Yehoshua, in the face of immense pressure from his peers, stood by his values and championed the unpopular position, that Benei Yisrael should go and seize the Land. When we bless our children on Friday night, “May G-d make you like Efrayim and Menashe,” we should bear in mind this most crucial quality of Efrayim and Menashe – the ability to withstand societal pressure, and to do the right thing even when the world around us encourages doing otherwise.