04 Oct A TALE OF TWO BANK MANAGERS: THE ESSENCE OF YOM KIPPUR IF I’M NEVER ENOUGH, I GIVE UP
Forgiveness
Should Not
Create Fear.
During the ten
days from
R o s h
Hashanah through Yom Kippur,
known as the “Ten days of
Teshuvah,” we recite each
morning one of the most
beautiful and moving chapters
of Psalms, ch. 130. It contains a
most enigmatic verse, which is
repeated many times during the
prayers of Selichot, Rosh
Hashanah and Yom Kippur.
- . “But
you offer forgiveness, so that we
might learn to fear you.” The
logic is counterintuitive. People
who offer forgiveness are less
feared, not more feared. If I
know that you are the “forgiving
type,” I fear you less, not more.
What then does King David
mean “But you offer forgiveness,
so that we might learn to fear
you?” A Tale of Two Bank
Managers Rabbi Schnuer
Zalman of Liadi (1745-1812),
known as the Alter Rebbe, the
Baal HaTanya, explained it with
a metaphor from the world of
economics. The entire metaphor
is his; the specific example is
mine. It is 2006. The real estate
market is booming. You took a
100 million dollar loan from the
bank to renovate a massive
complex in Manhattan which
you will sell and earn a profit of
50 million. Not bad for a nice
Jewish boy who is ADD and a
collage drop out. All of a sudden,
the market collapses, you
can’t sell your condos, and
you are left with a major
debt. You meet with the
bank manager. He declares:
We want the entire debt
paid up—the 100 million
with all the interest, as per
the schedule we agreed
upon. On the 15th your first
payment of 1.5 million is
due. You go home, and you
know in your mind, there is no
ways you can do this. Even if
you were to stand on your head
for a month, you simply cannot
come up with this money. So
what do you do? Mentally you
give up. You ignore the monthly
invoices, notices, summons, and
warnings. You get your house
off your name, you push off
the hearings till 2033, and
you go for a good massage.
You tell your wife, the guy is
crazy, and you don’t even
think of it anymore. There is
nothing better you can do.
But suppose another
scenario: The bank manager
says, okay, we all got hit
badly. We are all in a big
mess. We all need to bite the
bullet. You were wiped out;
we were also wiped out.
Let’s work this out fairly and
lovingly. How about, we cut
the loan by 30 percent. We
remove all interest. Let’s
make this work for both of
us. I need you to work with
me. What would be a
feasible schedule of
payment? Ah, now you get
scared… Now you need to go
home and you need to figure
it out. Now you need to
come up with some money.
He is being such a mentch,
you can’t betray him. You
need to show up with
payment. This, says the Alter
Rebbe, is the meaning of the
verse, “But you offer
forgiveness, so that we might
learn to fear you.” If G-d
demanded full compensation for
all our mistakes, if He demanded
that we pay up in full, with
interest, then we would not fear
Him; we would give up on Him.
It is like the child who can never
please their parent. Whatever he
does, it is never enough, and
every mistake is highlighted. At
some point, such children give
up completely. “If I have no
hope of ever getting it right, why
try? If I will always be criticized,
why bother?” The child, in a
mixture of cynicism, rebellion,
pain, and despair, just severs the
relationship. “But you offer
forgiveness, so that we might
learn to fear you,” King David
says. G-d forgives. He never
asks us to be perfect, only to be
accountable. He asks of us to
meet Him half way. He tells
each of us on Yom Kipur: I want
to make this work for YOU. I
want you to live the most
meaningful, beautiful,
successful, powerful and happy
life you can. I yearn for you to
help Me make your life the
ultimate success story. Now we
really have to go into our hearts
and mend our mistakes, fix our
wrongs and resolve to live a
purer and holier future. “But you
offer forgiveness, so that we
might learn to fear you.”