23 Dec AMERICAN JEWRY IS DISAPPEARING

Patrilineal descent
and intermarriage
are the problem, not
the solution.
The recent Jewish
People Policy
Institute study found
that outside of Orthodoxy, fewer Jews are
getting married, those marrying are marrying
later and having fewer children and
intermarriage rates are increasing. The
combination of these three factors raises the
daunting question of the future of American
non-Orthodox Jews.
Shockingly, the study shows that among all
non-Orthodox Jews in the 25-54 age group,
just 15% are married to a Jewish spouse and
have Jewish children. An additional 8% have
a Jewish spouse, but no children, 4% are
single parents, 36% are single and have no
children, 13% are intermarried and have
Jewish children, 8% are intermarried and have
non-Jewish children, and 17% are intermarried
and have no children.
Among all non-Orthodox Jews in the 25-54
age group, just 15% are married to a Jewish
spouse and have Jewish children.
Intermarriage rates increase the younger the
generation. Among those aged 40-44, 60% are
intermarried. Among those aged 35-39, it is
73%, and 75% of those aged 30-34 have a
non-Jewish spouse.
In contrast to the other denominations, studies
show that the Orthodox community is on the
rise and exhibit high levels of demographic
stability. While that conclusion is gratifying
and validating, it is absolutely no cause for
celebration or triumphalism. Realize that the
hemorrhaging of other denominations is not
the result of Jews flocking to the Orthodox
community.
Rav Aharon Lichtenstein zt”l wrote (Tradition,
Spring 1982):
Nor do I share the glee some feel over the
prospective demise of the competition. Surely,
we have many sharp differences with the
Conservative and Reform movements, and
these should not be sloughed over or blurred.
However, we also share many values with
them – and this, too, should not be obscured.
Their disappearance might strengthen us in
some respects, but would unquestionably
weaken us in others. And of course, if we
transcend our own interests and think of the
people currently served by these movements
– many of them, both presently and potentially,
well beyond our reach or ken – how would
they, or klal Yisrael as a whole, be affected by
such a change? Can anyone responsibly state
that it is better for a marginal Jew in Dallas or
Dubuque to lose his religious identity
altogether rather than drive to his temple?
If the muscles of the left arm atrophy or the

arm needs to be amputated, it is hardly a
comfort that the right arm is strong and has
larger muscles than ever. Sadly, rather than an
honest review and return to tradition, ritual
and halacha, there has been a doubling down
of the policies and ideology that have brought
these results to begin with.
Some have suggested an embrace of patrilineal
descent as a solution. Others argue it is time
for rabbis to officiate at intermarriages. Aside
from representing gross distortions of Jewish
law, tradition and the will of the Almighty,
these suggestions don’t actual address the core
issues. They simply attempt to put a Band-Aid
over a deeply infected wound that is gushing
blood. Indeed, they are the equivalent of
cooking the books or manipulating earnings
so that they appear to report profit instead of
loss. Recognizing patrilineal descent or
accepting intermarriage just gives the illusion
of addressing the problem; it doesn’t actually
do anything to address the very real threat
facing the future of American non-orthodox
Jewry.
The antidote to these devastating demographic
findings is not less adherence to Jewish law,
but more.
If one thinks the Orthodox community is
unaffected by these suggested monumental
shifts in policy, they are grossly mistaken.
Individuals and families who will have grown
up thinking they are Jewish will meet children
from observant homes through NCSY or at
their college Hillel and their Jewish status will
come into question. Children who apply to
attend day schools or families that will seek
membership in Orthodox shuls may have
questionable statuses. This potential shifts in
policy and practice will not only fail to stem
assimilation, but it will further divide our
people. This is not a hypothetical issue that
may arise in the future. This is happening now
in our own institutions and among families in
our own community. I see these issues arise
frequently – and tragically.
The antidote to these devastating demographic
findings is not less adherence to halacha,
Jewish law, but more. When talking about the
mitzvah of tzitizit (fringes on a four-cornered
garment), our rabbis (Bamidbar Rabbah 17:6)
provide the following metaphor. A person was
once cast into the sea and was drowning. The
Coast Guard threw the person a rope and said
grab on. If you hold onto it, you will survive
but if you let go, you will be swept away and
disappear. Wearing tzitzit reminds us of our
commitment and responsibility to a life of
Torah and mitzvot. Grabbing on to those ropes
and what they stand for gives us life. Tzitzit
themselves are not the solution, but they are
symbol of a lifestyle of mitzvot. “The Torah is
the tree of life for those who grab onto it.” Let
it go and you will be swept away.
The storms of change are raging around us.

The current is getting stronger and stronger
and sweeping more and more people away.
The only way to stay safe, and remain true to
our values, our traditions and our obligations,
is to make a commitment to not only hold on
to Torah, but to demonstrate a willingness to
swim upstream at times, to go against the tide,
to dare to be different and to be willing to
stand out. This is no easy task and takes great
courage, but we have it within our very DNA
because our great patriarch Abraham planted
it there. Abraham was called Avraham Ha’Ivri
meaning mei’eiver, on the other side. When
the whole world took one position and stood
on one side, he had the courage to stand out,
remain true to the vision and will of the
Almighty and to stand on the other side, even
when it meant standing by himself.
The great Piacetzner Rebbe, R’ Kalonymous
Kalman Shapira writes in his spiritual diary,
Tzav V’Ziruz:
You cannot remain static in this torrent river
just by standing firm in your place – you must
actively swim against the flow. You may not
be successful in swimming upstream, but at
least you will not be swept down by the flow.
So it is with spiritual life and the purity of
spirit that you have attained. You cannot retain
them against the flow unless you continue to
struggle for spiritual growth. You must swim
upstream without respite – upward, onward
against the flow. There may be a limit to how
far you can go, but at least you will not be
drawn down with the flow.
W.C. Fields once said, “Remember, a dead
fish can float downstream, but it takes a live
one to swim upstream.” Those who are
spiritually dead, cut off from our timeless and
time tested traditions, are floating away. We,
the community who are willing to swim
upstream, must not only swim harder, but we
must be willing to grab on to those around us
and share our life preserver (the Torah).
A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes
a live one to swim upstream.

The potential demise of other denominations
is no cause for celebration. It is an opportunity
– and an obligation – to reach out and share
the beauty, majesty, meaning and joy of a
Torah lifestyle. These findings demand a mass
movement of outreach. The needle won’t
move and the problem won’t be solved by
outreach professionals and rabbis alone. A
difference will only be made when every
Torah shul, institution and individual sees as
part of their core identity and personal mission
to not only hold on to the sturdy tree of Torah
to prevent being swept down the river, but to
reach out and extend a hand to those floating
by.

Milton Friedman, the great Nobel Prize-
winning economist and professor at the

University of Chicago, had a very simple
suggestion for how to identify a person or
institution’s priorities. Many people
eloquently describe their beliefs, values, and
principles and talk about what is most
important to them. Friedman advised to ignore
what they say. If you want to truly know what
someone’s priorities are, it is simple – Look at
someone’s budget and you know what is
important to him/her. See how someone
prioritizes their money and you will know
their priorities.
We claim to care about outreach but do our
institutions, shul and schools have an outreach
budget? Do we have dedicated people working
on this cause? Do we put our money where
our mouth is?
This is our generation’s test; it is our challenge.
It has been said that in Europe they killed us
with hate and in America they are killing us
with love. These statistics bear out that truth
and challenge us to ask ourselves, will we rise
to our generation’s test and care enough to not
only be willing to swim upstream ourselves
when necessary, but to extend our hand to
those around us who are being swept away. If
the answer is not a resounding “yes,” the
consequences will be devastating.