14 Apr ARE YOU HOLDING YOUR PHONE OR IS IT HOLDING YOU? OUR 30-DAY CHALLENGE TO RECLAIM YOUR LIFE

The stories emerging
today are nothing short
of startling. In a recent
report, individuals
described as
“screenmaxxers”
openly admit to
spending virtually every waking hour on
their phones: watching, scrolling,
messaging, and consuming without pause.
One person shared that they are doing at
least three things at once on their device at
all times, while another acknowledged
having no plans to cut back despite
recognizing the toll.
What once sounded extreme is quietly
becoming normal. A life mediated almost
entirely through a screen is no longer an
outlier. It is a direction in which many find
themselves and to which many are drifting.
Have you ever found yourself on your
phone, endlessly watching, adding things to
your cart, or scrolling without really
thinking, knowing you should stop, but
feeling like you simply cannot? It is that
pull, that urgent need, that compulsion that

keeps your fingers moving even when your
mind is saying enough. You put your phone
down for a moment, but somehow it is back
in your hand before you know it. You tell
yourself you will turn off the screen, step
away, or stop, and yet the cycle keeps going.
Are you making choices, or are things just
happening to you? Is time passing in a way
that leaves you feeling bad, ashamed, guilty,
not proud of how you lived those hours?
You want to stop. It is not who you want to
be. And yet somehow, you cannot break
out.
This is not laziness or a simple lack of
willpower. It is something deeper, an
impulse, a kind of invisible tether that grabs
hold of our attention and refuses to let go,
and chances are most of us feel it every
single day of the week (except for one).
For a long time, we comforted ourselves
with the belief that this was a problem of the
young. Teenagers and college students were
the ones we worried about. But recent
reporting has made clear that this is not true.
Baby boomers are among the biggest
culprits, spending hours upon hours glued
to their devices, caught in the same loops of

scrolling, clicking, and consuming. This is
not a generational issue. It is a human one.
Why is our generation especially
vulnerable? In previous generations,
addictions required effort. A person had to
go somewhere to get their need, to obtain
something, make a conscious decision.
Today, our addictions live in our pocket.
They are always with us, always accessible,
always calling. Technology companies
deliberately design products to be
addictive, with endless scrolling, constant
notifications, and variable rewards that
function—and literally have chemical
effects on our brains—like slot machines.
They are competing for one thing, your
attention, because attention is the most
valuable resource in the world today.
In the beginning of our Parsha, the Torah
says: “This is the law of the Metzorah on
the day of his purification and he shall be
brought to the Kohen.” Interestingly, when
describing the purification of the Nazir, the
Torah uses very similar language, but with
an important difference. “This is the law of
the Nazir: On the day his abstinence is
completed, he shall bring himself to the
entrance of the Tent of Meeting.” Rav
Yeruchem Levovitz, the great
Mashgiach of the Mir, asks, why the
difference? Why with the Metzorah
does it say “He is brought to the Kohen”
and yet with the Nazir it says he brings
himself?
Says Rav Yeruchem there is a
fundamental difference between the
Nazir and the Metzorah. A Nazir is in
charge of himself and a Metzorah is
subject to other forces that are in charge
of him. The Nazir willingly took a vow
and willingly subject himself to the
process. The Metzorah is in front of the
Kohen because he was brought there,
compelled by powers and powerful
temptations he could not withstand.
The question for us is simple and
uncomfortable. Are we bringing
ourselves to our choices, or are we
being brought by our devices? When we
feel, “I wish I could stop but I cannot,”
that is the language of being carried.
That is not freedom.
Every person must ask themselves
honestly, what controls me? Is it my
phone, my habits, my cravings?
Breaking addiction requires more than
willpower. It requires rebuilding a life
of meaning. Real freedom begins with
awareness, with recognizing what
controls us clearly and honestly. It

continues with removing triggers, with
being willing to change our environment
and create boundaries that protect us. And it
hinges on replacing the dopamine, because
we cannot simply remove without replacing.
The urge to escape, to numb, to distract is
real, but instead of feeding it with endless
scrolling, we must redirect it toward
reading, learning, connecting, and helping.
We are not meant to simply avoid
distraction. We are meant to lean into
meaning.
That is why I want to invite you to something
powerful. Beginning Monday, April 20th,
we will be hosting a 30-day technology
challenge designed to help you reset your
relationship with your phone and reclaim
your attention. Each day you will receive a
small, simple, actionable challenge that
builds self-control, sharpens awareness of
your habits, and gradually loosens the grip
of technology on your life. This is a joint
project of Guard Your Eyes and Semichas
Chaver Program, built on the idea that small
daily steps, taken consistently and together,
can create real and lasting change, with
weekly incentives and grand prizes to keep
you motivated along the way.
By the end of 30 days, you will develop a
healthier and more intentional relationship
with technology. You will experience
greater focus, greater confidence, and a
stronger sense of kedusha that carries into
your everyday life.
Join the challenge at rabbiefremgoldberg.
org/challenge and take the first step
toward becoming truly free.