27 May BAMIDBAR: LET’S DIVE INTO TORAH!!

Is it ok for a husband not to
enjoy running the errands
that his wife sends him on? Is
it enough to get them done,
even if he does so
begrudgingly? And is it ok for a
wife to not enjoy the housework
that she does, preparing meals and
straightening up, even though she knows that
she’s doing it for her husband?
Of course it’s ok. Husbands and wives have
obligations to one another, and as long as they
fulfill those obligations, it’s fine. They don’t
have to enjoy it.
But this is not true of spending time with one
another, talking to one another, bonding with
one another. This is the core essence of the
relationship. If a husband or wife does not
enjoy the time spent with one another, then
there is a problem. Spending time together is
not a responsibility, but the actual relationship,
and if it isn’t enjoyable, then there is
something very wrong with the relationship.
It’s ok not to enjoy going to the cleaners, but
it’s not ok not to enjoy being together.
The same is true of our relationship with
Hashem.
When it comes to almost all the mitzvot, the

important thing is that the obligation is
fulfilled, even if one does not find the mitzvah
enjoyable. Of course, mitzvot like Shabbat,
holidays, praying, tallit and tefillin are so
much easier if they are enjoyable. But they
don’t have to be enjoyable. One can be a good
Jew by performing the mitzvot even if he or
she does not enjoy it.
The important exception is Torah learning.
The pasuk says – those who love Torah are
rewarded with an abundance of peace.
Learning Torah doesn’t suffice; one has to
love learning. It has to be enjoyable.
The reason is because learning Torah is the
way we “spend time” with Hashem. This is
how we build our relationship with Him. The
other mitzvot are like the “errands” and
“chores” that we have to get done. They’re
necessary for the relationship, but they’re not
the relationship. Learning Torah is our
relationship with Hashem – and so we need to
enjoy it.
Which brings us to the obvious question: what
if one doesn’t enjoy learning? What if a
person tries learning and doesn’t find it
enjoyable?
I once brought a group of students to
Lakewood, to observe the yeshiva and kollel
students learning with rigor and passion. They

then met with one of the great rabbis there,
Rav Gershon Ribner, and they asked him this
exact question: how does a person develop a
love for learning Torah?
He answered by suggesting an analogy to
swimming. A person who doesn’t know how
to swim hates going into the water. He is not
comfortable, he is scared, and he can’t wait to
get out. But once a person figures out what to
do, he doesn’t want to leave. A person who
knows how to swim loves swimming.
In order to develop a love for learning, Rav
Ribner said, we have to “dive” into it, and
learn how to “swim,” how to do it. Of course,
it will be difficult and not particularly
enjoyable at first. It’s not going to be fun right
away. But once we “dive in” and figure it out,
we won’t want to leave.
The Torah in the Book of Shemot tells that
after Beneh Yisrael crossed the sea, they
journeyed for several days in the desert
without finding any water, until they found
bitter, undrinkable water. Hashem commanded
Moshe to throw a branch into the water, and
this miraculously sweetened the water.
Some Rabbis saw this story as teaching us
about the process of Torah learning. At first,
the experience might be “bitter.” The “waters”
of Torah do not “taste” good when one first

tries. It is only after one “throws” himself into
Torah – like the branch which Moshe threw
into the water – that it becomes sweet and
enjoyable.
The holiday of Shavuot, when we celebrate
Matan Torah, is the perfect opportunity to
“dive” into Torah. For those who until now
have felt uncomfortable learning, or haven’t
really found learning enjoyable, this is the
time to try to “dive in,” to make a commitment
to struggle and work hard, and trust that the
“bitter waters” will become “sweet.”
Let us use this opportunity to take the “dive,”
to immerse ourselves in Torah even if we find
it difficult, realizing that this is how we build
our relationship with Hashem, which is the
“sweetest” joy we can ever experience.