06 May BETTER NOT BITTER

We are living in the world of October 8, the
aftermath. While October 8 is often
understood as being synonymous with a

world of increased anti-Semitism and Jew-
hate, I am looking at a different October 8.

The October 8 of increased kindness and
understanding, of caring and reaching out
between brothers. The October 8 of
Kedoshim Tihiyu, You shall be holy.
This Shabbos, we read the double Torah
portion of Acharei Mos-Kedoshim. Acharei
Mos, After the Death (of Nadav and Avihu,
sons of Aaron HaKohein). Kedoshim
Tihiyu, You Shall be Holy. To live the life of
a kodosh, a holy one. Not to be spiritual just
in heart and mind, but to bring that
spirituality to action.
The parsha gives us some of the ways to
attain spirituality. Among them are honoring
one’s parents, keeping Shabbos, not
stealing, being honest, not gossiping, not to
stand by when innocent blood is shed, not
to take revenge, and to love one’s neighbor
as oneself. Essentially to live one’s life
knowing that there is a higher Authority

Above to whom we must answer.
Each day, in the Amida, we are reminded of
this. “Atah Kodosh, You are holy,
V’Shimcha Kodosh, And your Name is
holy, U’kedoshim, b’chol yom yehallelucha,
and holy ones praise You every day…” We
say this prayer every day, but do we stop
and think, who are the “holy ones”?
While some explain that it refers to the
angels above, other commentators explain
it to be “the angels below” – the holy ones
amongst us. People who live their lives as
kedoshim.
Being a kodosh is not limited to a select
few. In fact, the Chumash tells us that the
obligation to be holy was transmitted by
Moshe to kol adas Bnei Yisroel, to the
entire Jewish nation — men, women and
children. Strong or weak, rich or poor,
scholarly or simple, young or old…. All
have the ability to be holy.
After Aron’s sons perished, he didn’t
become depressed, fall apart and crumble.
Nor did he complain, become angry or
bitter. Surely he was pained. But with it all,
he found the strength to continue on with
his avoda, his sacred duties as Aron

HaKohein, Aron the High
Priest.
Acharei Mos-Kedoshim.
It was after the death, after
a most difficult time, that
we learn from Aron what
it means to be a kodosh.
October 8 was a day of
acharei mos, after the
death. A day when so
many rose and elevated
themselves to become
kedoshim, holy ones. I
think of Jen Airley. Jen
grew up in Miami, went to
Israel after completing school, and met her
husband, Rob, in Yerushalayim. They
settled in the States, living in the 5 Towns,
but the dream of making aliya was always
on their minds. When their son Binyomin
was a toddler, they lived their dream and
made the move.
Binyomin, a member of an elite IDF
brigade, was killed in Gaza, protecting the
country he and his family loved so much.
Prior to October 7, Jen and Rob had
purchased a home is Tzfat, intending it to
be an Air B&B. It was to be an extra source
of income. But after October 7, all that
changed. The Airleys wanted Binyomin’s
light, his way of constantly giving and
doing for others, to continue shining. They
wanted his memory to stay alive. So they
did what Binyomin would have done.
They gave, and continue to give to others.
They converted their Air B&B into a
respite home for soldiers on leave. A place
where any soldier who feels that he needs
to get away to rest and rejuvenate, can
check into. The kitchen is always stocked,
the beds are ready, and a therapist is
always available. They even arrange for
musical entertainment in the evenings.
Jen could have become bitter. But she
became better. She could have said it’s not
fair, why my Binyomin, why my son.
Instead, she said, what can I do to keep his
light shining.
Kedoshim tihiyu, You shall be holy.
I think of Alon Mesika, whose 23-year-old
son, Adir, was murdered on October 7.
Adir never had a chance to propose to his
girlfriend, Yuli. Alon didn’t become angry
at the world. Like Jen, he wanted to do
something positive to keep Adir’s memory
alive. Alon, who is a jeweler, undertook to
give engagement rings – valued up to
$2,000 each – to soldiers, for their kallahs.
To date, he has already given out 102
rings. In the midst of his pain, he wants to
do for others. To make the world a better,
happier place.

Kedoshim tihiyu, You shall be holy.
And who doesn’t know the story of Yarden
Bibas, who was held hostage, only to be
released and learn that his wife and two
beautiful children were cruelly murdered
by Hamas. I can’t even fathom his pain.
Yarden gave his children’s toys to Assuta
Ashdod Hospital, where his sons Kfir and
Ariel were born. He has undertaken a
mission to encourage others to similarly
give toys to young patients. “Every baby
born here, and every child recovering here,
is part of our victory over those who tried to
destroy us.” A powerful statement from
Yarden Bibas. To give even when one’s
heart is breaking.
Kedoshim tihiyu, You shall be holy.
“Vayehi erev, vayehi boker, yom echad,
And it was evening, and it was morning,
one day.” Bereishis is the book of life
lessons. In creating the first day, the
Chumash tells us that it was night, it was
morning, one day. Why not use the term
yom rishon, the first day, as in yom sheini,
the second day, yom shlishi, the third day,
and so on.
From here we learn a great lesson. It was
dark. Symbolic of pain, challenge and
difficulty. Then it became boker, light.
Symbolic of renewal, goodness, and
healing. The rays of sunlight came shining
through. It is all part of that “one day”.
Darkness and then light. Don’t despair,
don’t lose hope. In fact, with our actions,
every one of us can bring light into the
world.
The Hebrew word for friend is yedid. Yedid
is spelled yud-dalet-yud-dalet. Within the
word yedid are two words, each word
spelled yud-dalet – yad and yad, hand and
hand. When two hands are connected and
work together, we have yedid, a friend. The
gematria, numerical value of yedid is 28,
the same numerical value as koach, meaning
strength. When we work together, doing for
each other, we not only create friendships,
but we find the koach to grasp far beyond
our natural reach. To make the bitter better.