At the beginning of the parsha, Yaakov asks Yosef to swear that he will bring him back to the Land of

Moreover, the Gemara says in Kesuvos and other places that the way this world works is that if someone eulogizes others, others will eulogize him, and one who goes to funerals and participates in the burial of the departed will have others do the same for him as well. In other words, there is repayment for people who occupy themselves with burying the dead! Basi- cally, this is a death insurance policy. The premiums are to eulogize and bury others; the payment is that others will eulogize and bury you. So, again we have a ques- tion on Rashi’s characterization of the matter.

The True Chessed Shel Emes

self not to bury Yaakov in Egypt! How can Rashi call this the classic paradigm of Chessed shel Emes where no gain or ben- efit is expected in return?

his benefactor. Every time someone does someone else a favor—for the purest of reasons—it creates an obligation on the recipient. He feels indebted to the one who did him the favor. It is just human nature. When you give something to someone, he feels indebted.

Canaan and not allow him to be buried in the Land of Egypt. Rashi famously com- ments that a kindness done with the de- ceased is a “true kindness” (Chessed shel Emes) because the person extending the favor expects no repayment from the per- son receiving the favor. The quintessential Chessed shel Emes is the chessed some- one does with a dead person. There are no ulterior motives involved in such kind- ness. Many Chevra Kadisha organizations are known as Chessed Shel Emes societ- ies. The source is this Rashi at the begin- ning of Parshas Vayechi.

The favor may have been performed to- tally altruistically, but inevitably, later on, when you see the person who did you a favor in the street, you are thinking “I owe him something”. And this other fellow may very well also be thinking that you owe him something. The only person who will certainly NOT feel indebted after re- ceiving a favor is a dead person. That is why Rashi calls this a true Chessed shel Emes.

uvain says “Please, just forget about it!” People think, Rav Yeruchem said, that Reuven is being very nice and magnani- mous. He is not asking for anything in re- turn from Shimon for the kindness he did for him. Rav Yeruchem said that the con- trary is true. Reuven is not being nice by not giving Shimon the opportunity to do something for him as repayment. When a person says “What can I do for you in re- turn,” it gives him the opportunity to re- move the feeling of indebtedness that he must now carry around. When the bene- factor disallows the possibility of pay- ment, he is really holding onto the debt for

The sefer Avir Yaakov offers the follow- ing interpretation: Certainly, when there is a funeral and someone buries a departed friend or neighbor, there can be and there will be a payback. However, the reason why kindness done with the dead is con- sidered a Chessed shel Emes is because the dead person will not feel indebted to

Rav Yeruchem Levovitz, the Mir Mash- giach, always portrayed a situation where Reuven does a favor for Shimon and Shi- mon is very appreciative and tells Reuven, “Thank you so much, how can I repay you?” Reuven answers “Oh, it was noth- ing. Forget about it!” Shimon persists “No, no. I really want to repay you some- how. What can I do for you?” Again, Re-

However, a number of commentaries ask on this Rashi, because the pasuk explicitly says that Yaakov was giving Yosef an ul- terior motive for rendering this kindness. Yaakov promised Yosef the city of Shechem because he was troubling him-possible collection at a later date. Therefore, the real true Chessed is only the kindness someone does with the dead, who have no feelings of indebtedness.