09 Aug COMFORTING “EACH OTHER”

The Shabbat after Tishah

B’Av is famously known

as שבת†נחמו†, a reference to

the haftarah read on this

Shabbat which tells of

Hashem’s call to console

the Jewish People as they

grieved for the

devastating hurban (destruction): נחמו†נחמו

עמי¨†יאמר†אלוקיכם†– “Console, console My

nation, says your G-d.” The meaning of

נחמה†(consolation) can be understood from

a pasuk in the beginning of Megilat Echah,

which we read on Tishah B’Av, that

describes what it’s like without נחמה†. The

pasuk says: ≠¨†בכו†תבכה†בלילה¨≠†ודמעתה†על†לחיה

אין†לה†מנחם≠†מכל†אוהביה†. She [Yerushalayim]

cries at night, and her tear is on her cheeks;

she has no one from among all who love

her giving consolation… Yerushalayim is

described as someone who weeps and

grieves alone, with the tears pouring down

her face because there is no מנחם†, no one to

comfort her and wipe away her tears. We

live in a very lonely generation. We live in

a time where we enjoy unparalleled

comforts and so many benefits that

previous generations could never have

dreamed of, but people today feel so

lonely. We are all so good at putting on a

show – wearing a smile, responding to

“How are you” with a happy “Baruch

Hashem,” and making it appear as though

everything is fine. But everyone is

struggling with something, with some fear,

some anxiety, something that upsets them,

something that depresses them, something

that makes them miserable. Even worse,

so many people feel they have nobody to

talk to, nobody who understands them,

nobody who knows what they’re going

through. בכו†תבכה†בלילה≠ÆÆÆאין†לה†מנחם≠†מכל

אוהביה†. People today have many ,אוהבים

friends and family members who like

them, but אין†לה†מנחם†– they feel alone. And

so בכו†תבכה†בלילה†, they cry in hiding, in the

dark, alone. Perhaps the call of נחמו†נחמו†עמי

is directed to each and every one of us.

The way we experience נחמה†, consolation,

is by making an active effort to provide

נחמה†to others, to see to it that nobody is

alone, that nobody has to cry בלילה†, in

solitude. A man once overheard someone

on the phone – who turned out to be a

gardener – asking the person on the other

line if he needed a gardener. He explained

that he is very experienced and does a very

good job. The person on the other line said

he already had a gardener whom he is very

happy with. The gardener then called

somebody else, and got the same response.

He ended calling 15 people – and they all

said that they already had a gardener whom

they’re happy with. Finally, the man

overhearing the phone calls, feeling very

bad for the gardener, approached him and

offered to hire him to take care of his lawn.

“Sorry,” the gardener said. “I’m booked. I

can’t take on any more customers.” The

man was startled. “You just called up 15

people asking them to hire you!!” “You

don’t understand,” the gardener said.

“These are my customers. I work for all of

them, but I never receive a single

compliment. I called them pretending to

be somebody else so I could hear them say

that they’re happy with their gardener…”

So many people in our community feel this

way. They feel alone, unappreciated,

unloved, and ignored. But it doesn’t have

to be this way. Is it that difficult to give a

compliment? It is that difficult to be

gracious? Is it that difficult to give a warm

smile? Is it that difficult to pick up the

phone and call somebody who lives alone

or who is struggling with some problem,

and lend an ear? Is it that difficult to go

over to a visitor or new member in shul

and warmly introduce yourself? Is it that

difficult to reach out, to express concern,

to show some warmth and friendship?

נחמו†נחמו†עמי†. Of course, only Hashem can

bring us complete consolation, and we

pray for it each and every day. But the

process starts with the נחמה†we give each

other, by uplifting one another,

encouraging one another, and supporting

one another, so that no man, woman or

child ever feels alone.