06 May CUSTOMS DURING SEFIRA PART 1

The time from
Pesach to Shavuos
is a time of
minimizing joy.
However, many
question arise as to
what is included in
this, such as what are
the reasons for this
custom? Are there
different customs? What is included in
the custom? When are haircuts permitted?
These questions and many others will be
answered in this article.
The Reason
During the period between Pesach
and Shavuos 24,000 students of Rabbi
Akiva perished, and only seven of Rabbi
Akiva’s students remained. The reason
for their demise is because they did not
show honor to one another. There were
other things which occurred during this
time as well. For example, the crusaders
did their terrible actions towards the Jews
during this time of year. Others say the
time between Pesach and Shavuos are
days of judgment so we should act in a
serious manner.
When did the Custom Start?
The Gemorah and the main Rishonim
who codify halacha do not bring down
the custom of refraining from any actions
during sefira. The custom to refrain from
certain actions started during the times of
the Geonim. When some poskim discuss
this inyun they say “some places” do not
take haircuts, and by weddings, “some”
have the custom to refrain from making
them. However, the accepted custom in
all of klal yisroel is to refrain from these
activities during sefira.
Different Customs
When the time of sefira arrives, many
times one will see people taking haircuts
etc after Pesach and others will not do so
until Lag B’omer. Is there any reason to
have different customs among Yiddin or
is there one universal custom?
Some say that the students stopped dying
on Lag B’omer in which case one can
rejoice afterwards. According to this,
the time to refrain from certain actions is
from the second day of Pesach until Lag
B’omer. This is the custom followed by
most people.
One opinion is that the students did not

stop dying on Lag B’omer and they died
throughout the forty nine days. However,
they did not die on the days which tachnun
is not said. Those days are seven days of
Pesach (we start counting sefira from the
second day of Pesach), six Shabbosim,
two days of Rosh Chodesh Iyar, and
one day of Rosh Chodesh Sivan. All the
numbers equal to thirty two days that the
students died so the thirty third day is a
time to rejoice. According to this view,
one has to refrain from certain activities
for thirty three days. Some hold those
thirty three days starting from after Rosh
Chodesh Iyar (second day of Iyar) until
Erev Shavuos, others hold from the first
day of Rosh Chodesh Iyar until the three
days before Shavuos. (Some say this is
the custom of most people). According
to this opinion, the thirty three days to
refrain from certain activities are not
because that is when the students died,
but rather it is a remembrance of the
death of the students who died during
the entire period (except for 16 days).
According to all the above opinions it is
permitted to take haircuts, shave etc on
Lag B’omer (whether this is at night or
day see later on).
The opinion of the Shulchan Aruch and
the custom of the Sefardim is that the
students of Rabbi Akiva did not stop
dying until the thirty fourth day of the
sefira. This is based on the following:
Some say the students died from Pesach
(second day) until “peros atzeres” which
means fifteen days before Shavuos.
Forty nine minus fifteen is thirty four.
Therefore, the custom became of some to
hold aveilus until the thirty forth in the
morning (unless Lag B’omer is on Erev
Shabbos, see below). One is not allowed
to hold from Rosh Chodesh Iyar and
then take haircuts etc. after Lag B’omer,
since it is not like any of the customs
mentioned above.
Rosh Chodesh Iyar on Shabbos
When Rosh Chodesh Iyar falls out on
Shabbos one is permitted to shave even if
one holds that he does not shave until Lag
B’omer. The reason for this is because
there is an added joy since Shabbos and
Rosh Chodesh are on the same day, so
shaving is permitted for the honor of
Shabbos on Friday. Those who follow
Rabbi Yehuda Hachassid would not be
able to shave since according to him
shaving on Rosh Chodesh is forbidden.
However, l’maseh, since shaving was

prohibited the day before because of
sefiras ha’omer, he would agree that it is
permitted.
Arizal
According to the opinion of the Arizal,
haircuts and shaving is not allowed
even on Lag B’omer. However, shaving
on Erev Shavuos is permitted even
according to the Arizal. Some say
weddings are permitted according to the
Arizal on Lag B’omer. One who follows
the custom of the Arizal and wants to
change his custom should be matir neder
beforehand.
Changing Customs
Generally there is a concept of “lo
sisgodidu,” which means there should
not be two different customs in one city.
Although this may be applicable in our
situation of different customs during
sefira, this is not so, as will be explained
below. In New York since there are so
many people who come from different
places there is no issue with some people
holding like one custom and others
holding like a different custom. This
would not apply to a city which has one
accepted custom.
According to the opinion mentioned
above that the students did not die
for thirty three exact days, but died
throughout the forty nine days, one is
permitted to change which thirty three
days he refrains from certain activities
from one year to the next. For example,
one year he can keep from Pesach to Lag
B’omer and the next year from Rosh
Chodesh Iyar until Shavuos.
According to the Gr’a, however, since
the students died from Pesach to Lag
B’omer, one may only refrain from
certain activities during these days,
unless it is a pressing situation. If one
does not know his custom then he may
switch it every year.
A woman who has a different custom
than her husband follows her husband’s
custom when they get married. This is
also true for a kallah who has a different
custom than her chosson and wishes to
pick a date for her wedding.
Haircuts
Some Rishonim only bring a custom to
refrain from marriage during this time
and not from haircuts. However, the
accepted custom is that during the period

of thirty three days one does not take a
haircut, or shave. The custom to take
haircuts applies to women and to men.
Children should not take haircuts as well.
Although one can be lenient for children
who have not yet reached the age of
chinuch, the custom is to be stringent.
According to the opinion of the Shulchan
Aruch one may not take haircuts until
the thirty fourth day in the morning.
The Rama holds one may shave on Lag
B’omer itself Many say this means even
at night (because no tachnun is said
already from erev Lag B’omer), while
others say it means first thing in the
morning because if one waits a little in
the morning it is as if one waited a whole
day. This is known as miktzas hayom
kekulo. The custom is that shaving or
taking a haircut is permitted after neitz
hachama. However, when Lag B’omer
falls out on Friday one may shave on
Thursday night in honor of Shabbos if
there is a need, such as one who is going
to a wedding on Thursday night.
When Lag B’omer falls out on Sunday,
shaving etc is permitted on Friday
because of kovod for Shabbos. It is
questionable if this is permitted for a
Sefardi who holds sefira until the thirty
forth day. The reason why it is kovod
for Shabbos is because by the mincha
before Lag B’omer one does not say
tachnun, so technically shaving would be
permitted on Shabbos, but since one can
not do so, the allowance is pushed back
to Friday. One may not shave etc. on
Motzei Shabbos when Lag B’omer falls
out on Sunday. Furthermore, many say
that shaving etc. in the above situation
is not permitted on Thursday night if
one has time to do it on Friday. One who
started shaving etc. on Lag B’omer may
continue after shekia as well (even if he
holds no shaving after Lag B’omer).

Shaving on
Friday when Erev
Shavuos etc. is
Sunday.
When either Rosh
Chodesh Sivan, the
first day of the three
preparation days
before Shavuos, or
Erev Shavuos falls
out on Sunday, shaving is permitted on
Erev Shabbos even for those who hold
of aveilus until either the first days of the
three preparation days or Erev Shavuos.
Others hold that doing so is forbidden
and this is the custom of many. If one is
in a pressing situation he may be lenient.
Some say if Rosh Chodesh Sivan falls
out on Friday those who do not shave on
Rosh Chodesh can shave on Thursday.
When is one permitted to Cut Hair?
One is permitted to cut his hair if it is in
the way of his eating. Plucking hair on
top of the eyes (women) is not considered
cutting hair and is permitted even if it is
done for beautification. A married woman
who has too much hair and it is coming
out of her sheitel etc may cut it, or if it
is too long and going into her eyes.A
woman who has the custom to cut her hair
before immersing herself may do so when
going to the mikvah during sefira as well.
One whose hair grew long and it may be
a problem of chatzitzah with his tefillin
shel rosh is permitted to take a haircut.
Combing hair is permitted during sefira
even if hair may fall out. One who needs
to cut his hair because of health reasons is
permitted to do so.
Whatever is permitted to be cut during
chol hamoed is permitted to be cut during
sefira.
Shaving for Work
Some poskim are of the opinion that if
one who will encounter a loss (i.e. lose
clients) if he does not look groomed
is permitted to shave or take a haircut

during sefira. The same would be true for
one who is going in front of a judge etc
and would not look honorable going with
stubble etc.
Others say since there are people in
today’s society who do not shave,
walking around unshaven is not going to
be a reason for a loss of parnasa.
The opinion of some is that the custom of
refraining from haircuts can not be worse
than the twelve months during which
one is an avel r”l over one’s parents. The
halacha there is that if one has so much
hair that his friend tells him to take a
haircut then doing so is permitted. When
one shaves every day the time span of
a friend telling you to shave is a short
period of time. Therefore, one may shave
during sefira (even without any loss of
money).
Shaving or Taking a haircut for a Bris
One who is making a bris, the sandek, and
the mohel may shave and take a haircut
during sefira. The reason is because it is a
Yom Tov for them. The kevater and guests
may not shave. If the bris will be taking
place on Shabbos, shaving is permitted
on Friday even before chatzos. However,
doing so is not permitted on Thursday.
Shaving is permitted close to the night
before the bris as well. According to
some poskim, those who are permitted
to shave for a bris would be permitted
to do so on Friday for a bris which is on
Sunday, if there is no time to shave on
Sunday. Others say this is not permitted
and shaving is only permitted on the day
of the bris. According to the opinion of
the Arizal, one may not take a haircut
even for a simcha. One who forgot to
shave before the bris for whatever reason
may not shave after the bris.
Pidyon Haben
The custom is that one who is making a
pidyon haben for his child does not shave
etc.
Bar-Mitzvah / Bas-Mitzvah
Although the halacha maintains that
shaving is permitted for a ba’al bris etc.
(see above), however a bar-mitzvah boy
is not included in this and therefore the
haircut should take place while he is still
under thirteen. If this is not possible then
one can be lenient. However, the father
of the bar-mitzvah boy should not take

a haircut. The same is true for a bas-
mitzvah.

Shaving for a date
One is not permitted to shave during
his custom of sefira even if he has a
date.
Chosson – Attending a Wedding
One who is getting married during
sefira (in the permitted times) may
shave the erev Shabbos before his
wedding. A chosson who is getting
married the night of Lag B’omer may
shave on the thirty second day even
before shekia. A chosson who holds
aveilus after Lag B’omer can still
shave during his sheva berochos since
it is a Yom Tov. The family members
(except for the father of the chosson and
kallah) should not shave before shekiah.
They can bring a shaver to the wedding
and can shave there after shekiah. Those
who follow the opinion of the Arizal do
not shave even if they are getting married.
Upsherin
A child who was born on Chol Hamoed
may have his upsherin on Chol Hamoed.
If a child was born the last days of Yom
Tov one may cut the child’s hair on Chol
Hamoed if he so desires.
Hundreds, if not thousands of people,
cut their children’s hair in Meron on
Lag B’omer, as was the custom of the
Arizal. Some say the reason is so that the
holiness of Rav Shimon Bar Yochai will
be a zechus for the child. Others say the
reason is because hair is part of the yetzer
hara, as was taught to us by Rav Shimon
Bar Yochai when he gave us the Zohar.
Many have the custom to go to Meron
to cut a child’s hair even before the child
turns three. Others say one should only
wait to go to Meron if the child was born
during sefira. If the child was born after
Shavuos or before sefira then one should
not go to Meron to cut his hair.
Engagements and Weddings
Weddings are not permitted during sefira
(unless it is not one’s time of holding sefira)
but engagements are permitted during
sefira. One is also permitted to make a vort
but dancing is not allowed.
The custom is that one is permitted to get
married and have music on Lag B’omer.
Some say that the only time that one may
get married on Lag B’omer is by day. The
Sefardim have the custom to marry on the
thirty-fourth day of the omer. When Lag
B’omer falls out on Friday then even the
Sefardim may make weddings on Thursday
night. The overwhelming custom is that

one may get married the night of Lag
B’omer. However others have the custom
not to get married on Lag B’omer as well.
A wedding that started on Lag B’omer by
day may continue into the night. Dancing
and music are permitted at a wedding on
Lag B’omer.
It is interesting to point out that one who
goes to a chasana during the time he is
observing the restrictions of sefira may
only dance after the chosson and kallah
come out from taking pictures. This is
because before they come out the dancing
is not considered being mes’ameach the
chosson and kallah.
Even those who hold like the Arizal and
are noheg the issur of taking haircuts on
all days of sefira may make a wedding on
Lag B’omer.
Some say one should try to make sure not
to make weddings during sefira since some
people may be holding sefira. Instead they
should be made on Lag B’omer, or from
Rosh Chodesh Sivan and on.
Attending a Wedding during one’s Sefira
One who is during his sefira may still
attend a wedding of someone who is
making a wedding when the bal simcha is
not holding sefira. This is even if he wants
to dance and listen to music there.
Sheva Berochos
Some say no dancing or music is allowed
during sheva berochos if the one attending
is during his sefira. However, the custom is
to be lenient and permit it.
Dancing on Chol Hamoed
Some say dancing which is not a mitzvah
may not be permitted on chol hamoed.
According to this, one would not be able
to go to a party if they have dancing (even
without music). If one is going to be
uplifted, such as going to a Rebbe’s tisch,
it is permitted to dance. The custom seems
to be that we are lenient with dancing and
listening to music on chol hamoed.

Weddings after
Lag B’omer
According to those
who hold sefira
until Lag B’omer,
one is permitted to
make weddings after
Lag B’omer and on.
However, the custom
is that weddings
(haircuts are different because since
there is less joy) are not made from after
Lag B’omer until the day of Sivan, while
others say the custom is to be lenient
even after Rosh Chodesh Sivan.
Dancing after Rosh Chodesh Sivan
Some say from Lag B’omer until Shavuos
no non-mitzvah dancing should take
place, even if one is not holding sefira.
However, the custom of many is to be
lenient with this. There is an uncertainty
if non-mitzvah dancing is permitted from
Rosh Chodesh Sivan until Shavuos.
Seudas Reshus
One is permitted to make a seuda during
these days which is not a mitzvah but one
may not have dancing. This is true for a
fundraising dinner as well.
Seudas Mitzvah
One is permitted to make other seudas
mitzvahs during sefira such as a siyum
mesechta. Dancing is permitted by this
meal if one normally dances by such
a meal. Those who dance on Shabbos
would be permitted to do so on Shabbos
during sefira since there is no aveilus on
Shabbos.
Bar Mitzvah /Bas Mitzvah
One is permitted to make a bar mitzvah
or bas mitzvah during sefira without
music or dancing.
Chanukas Habayis
Some say one should not have a chanukas
habayis during sefira. Nonetheless, the
custom is to be lenient.
Music
The early poskim do not mention a custom
to refrain from music during sefira.
However, later poskim mention that
listening to music is not allowed during
sefira. Therefore, the custom is that music
in any form may not be listened to during
sefira, even in one’s home (see below).
However, when it is permitted to have
dancing, listening to music or having a
band play music is also permitted.

A cappella
Many say singing without music is not
permitted. Therefore, the newest fad
of listening to a cappella CDs cannot
be a viable loophole during sefira. It
defeats the whole purpose of the isssur
because the musical experience is what
is really ossur, which the a cappella
singing provides in full. There are
some poskim who maintain that one is
permitted to listen to singing on a CD etc
without music even if there are pleasant
harmonies.
Radio, Tapes and CDs
The custom is that one is not permitted
to listen to music from the radio, tapes
or CDs during sefira (even if one is
lenient and listens to music all year). If
the tape only has slow music and one is
listening in order to lift his spirit, then
doing so is permitted. However, others
say if one sings into a tape without beats
it is considered music and forbidden.
Included in this discussion is classical
music or tapes from a chazzon. For
example, one who is sick r”l in bed and
needs music to lift his spirit is permitted
to listen to such music according to the
first opinion.
Children’s CDs
One is permitted to listen to a children’s
music CD etc since he is not doing so
for enjoyment, but rather that his child
should enjoy the music. Children who
have reached the age of chinuch should
refrain from listening to music during
sefira.
Driving
One who wishes to listen to music while
driving in order to keep him awake may
do so even during his sefira period. One
who does not listen to music and is n a
car where others are listening to music
(not during their sefira period) does not
have to ask for the music to be shut off.
Parnasa
One who depends on playing musical
instruments for his parnasa is permitted
to practice a musical instrument or play
one at a wedding or other seudas mitzvah
(even if he is holding sefira). One who
is having lessons can continue during
sefira.
Singing
Some had the custom not to sing
during sefira. However, l’maseh, one is
permitted to sing a song during sefira

without the accompaniment of
music. This is common when
signing while learning, while
davening, or during zemiros.
Background Music
One who walks into a store and
hears background music may
listen to the music and is not
obligated to close his ears. The
same is true if one wants to have
a meeting in his house and put
on a little background music.
Similarly, listening to music
when being placed on hold, or when
waiting in a waiting room at a doctor, etc
is permitted.
Without Intent
Many cases of listening to music are not
because one wishes to enjoy the music.
For example, one who is exercising and
wishes to listen to music to make the
exercising better is permitted to do so
since his intent is not to enjoy the music.
In a playgroup or nursery a teacher may
play music even during her sefira.
Dancing and Music on Lag B’omer
Many have the custom to make bonfires
(and dancing) on the night of Lag
B’omer. Others say that the simcha
should start by day. However, because of
Rav Shimon Bar Yochai the minhag is to
do the bonfire and dancing etc at night
all over the world and not only in Meron.
However, music not accompanied by a
bonfire should not be listened to until the
next day after neitz hachama.
Cutting Nails
One is permitted to cut finger or toe nails
during sefira.
Shehechiyanu
Some have the opinion that no
shehechiyanu is recited during sefira.
However, according to many poskim
one is permitted to recite a shehechiyanu
during these days, one who has a custom
otherwise should adhere to it. According
to all opinions, doing so is permitted after
Lag B’omer (if one holds sefira until Lag
B’omer).
Wearing and buying new Clothes
According to many poskim, one is
permitted to buy new clothing and wear
them during sefira even if it is clothing
that one recites a shehechiyanu on. There
is another opinion that is stringent and
maintains doing so is not allowed. One
may fix garments during sefira. Others

say the custom is to be stringent and
avoid doing so during one’s sefira. In
any case, one who is getting married or
has a different need that may come up is
permitted to buy and wear new garments
during sefira even according to the
stringent opinion. Even according to the
stringent opinion one may buy furniture
etc since the opinion was referring to
buying clothes.
Moving into a Home
One is permitted to buy or move into a new
home during the sefira period. Although
painting one’s home is forbidden during
the nine days, doing so during sefira is
permitted. The same is true for doing
construction on a home during sefira, or
putting up wallpaper.
“No Work”
Some have the custom that a woman
(many say men as well) may not do
work from shekia until the next morning,
during the entire sefira period. One of
the reasons is since the students of Rabbi
Akiva died before shekia and were buried
after shekia. Some say the custom is only
until a half hour after shekia. According
to this reason after Lag B’omer one can
be lenient. Another reason for refraining
from work is because when the Torah
says we should count seven weeks it uses
the word “Shabbosos” which means rest.
According to this reason, one only needs
to refrain from work until after counting
sefira for that day. Some say women who
do not count sefira should avoid working a
whole night. Some say even according to
the stringent opinion, any work which is
permitted during chol hamoed is permitted
here too. In addition, only work which
takes time, such as sewing garments, and
washing dishes and folding laundry are
permitted. In addition, house work such
as cooking, cleaning etc is permitted.
The custom of many is not to be concerned
with this whole practice, and one should
follow his family’s custom