27 Jun DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

Dear Rabbi and Shira,
Hi, I’ve recently dated a guy four times, and I’m not sure what to do. I find him interesting to speak with, we have a
good time on dates and I even find him to be handsome. People keep telling me that I should know by now. But I don’t
feel like “He’s The One” at this point. Should I go out with him again or should I call it off ?
-Undecided

Dear Undecided,
Hi. Sorry to hear that you are
having a hard time.
It’s important to realize that
dating is a process. You are
learning about yourself, and
trying to discover if the two of
you are right for each other. We
generally recommend dating
until you know specifically
why you do not want to date
him anymore .
There is no intrinsic value or
a milestone which you should
reach by a date number.

People would like to believe that
there is a specific life formula
that works for everyone, and
merely following it will bring
us to our spouse, livelihood or
having children. Unfortunately,
there is no such thing. In good
time, you or he will decide
whether it’s a match or not.

Thoughts to consider:
• What types of dates have
you gone on? Have you tried
different times of day or different
activities?

• Have you asked them about things that they feel
passionate about ?
• Do you have similar goals and values?
• Is there chemistry between the two of you?
One of our matchmaking colleagues recommends
that people who are deadlocked in the decision making
processt have a 9-5 date, on a Sunday, which she says
oftentimes can lead to clarity. At that point, you will
stand more of a chance of developing a strong opinion
on him, whether it’s a yes or no.
Wishing you clarity,

Rabbi Reuven and Shira Boshnack