18 Jul DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

Hi! I’m having problems juggling my job, school , friends,and my boyfriend . I feel like I am being pulled in many
different directions at once and I’m not sure how to balance it all. My friends feel like I replaced them with my boyfriend,
my boyfriend feels neglected, my grades are falling, and at work, my mind is just not there Do you have any tips to help
me get through this stage ?
-Stretched to the limit in Brooklyn

Dear Stretched to the Limit,
Hi. With every advancing life
stage, you take on more roles which
compete for your time. These jobs
include son/daughter, sibling,
student, friend, citizen, spouse, and
worker. However, your emotional
energy, time, and headspace are all
limited resources. As a result, you
have to make a conscious effort to
divide your resources effectively.
When you add a new role, you
suddenly have to rearrange your
resources. It will be difficult at first,

“finding time” for everything, as
well as thinking about how you
feel about the new commitments
and reorganization of time. In
time, you will adapt to “the new
normal.”
Inherent in your situation,
there is more stress as well,
as an impending wedding
involves a lot of urgent details,
requiring collaboration with
different parties who you are not
used to working with.

So, 1) remember that you are new at all this, so
have patience with yourself, 2) learn some time
management skills, such as the Eisenhower
method: Ask if the item is urgent? Is it
important? If both, do that first, do the urgent
ones next the important ones last. 3) Many
times the addition of a new role is accompanied
by a celebration, (Kiddush, Bris, Bar Mitzvah,
Wedding) to remind us that milestones in life
are filled with both the stress of change, yet the
joy of new possibilities.

Chazak Venischazeik!

Rabbi Reuven and Shira Boshnack