01 Aug DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

Dear Rabbi and Shira,
I am dating a girl with a generalized Anxiety Disorder. She was very upfront and casually mentioned it after we dated for a
month. I appreciated and respected her honesty, and we have now been dating for a half a year. We really click and get along well;
sharing the same lifetime goals, values and dreams. I recently told my father about her anxiety and he is flipping out. I really
enjoy spending time with her and would like it to work out with her. My father wants me to end the relationship. Does my father
have a right to be scared?
-Flipping out in Flatbush

Dear Flipping out,
In today’s day and age,
people are starting to be
more open about their
personal mental health and
BH it has even started to seep
into the Jewish Orthidox
community. Kol hakavod
to her that she was willing
to share this personal
information with you and
Kol hakavod that you are giving her a chance.
There are many many people walking around with
a generalized anxiety disorder, some are just too

scared to admit it and get treatment due
to the stigma and shidduchim.
Having a generalized anxiety disorder
isn’t a death sentence. It is much easier to
manage than bipolar or schizophrenia.
It is possible to live a normal balanced
health life.
Every couple will have various
challenges which they will overcome
together. Understanding each other
is the most important ongoing conversation that
you will have throughout your relationship. Your
friend has no doubt been working with this over

the course of life. Don’t interrogate her, but strive
to understand her. How and when does her anxiety
manifest itself? What has her treatment for it been
like? How could you be there for her when she’s
experiencing it?
Invite your father to do some research about it,
and speak with a therapist. Ask your father what his
concerns are, and what does he need to hear to lay
them to rest.
We wish you much luck with your relationship!

Rabbi Reuven and Shira Boshnack