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    09 Apr DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

    Posted at 17:22h in by
    0 Likes

    Dear Rabbi and Shira,
    I just spent Shabbos at my future in-laws, and I don’t know what to do. They are a wonderful family, sweet, and
    welcoming. The only problem? The food was horrible. I’m not sure what to do. I can’t bring it up to my fiance. I don’t
    want to offend them. The thoughts of spending Shabbos and Yom-tov there are now a cause for anxiety. Do you have
    any advice?
    -Hungry in Hewlett

    Dear Hungry,
    This seems like a problem of culinary proportions.
    We’re glad that you have the common sense not to say
    something, and to offend them.
    Regardless, you’re going to have to grin and bear it.
    We’d like to share some thoughts that could help
    Keep in mind that everybody has their good points
    and bad points. Better to be the sweetest people in the
    world with inedible food, than a cordon bleu chef who
    is nasty! Thankfully, there will be many other days of the
    year where you will have plenty to eat.
    Do you know how to cook? Maybe you can learn
    to cook yourself and offer to help out. You can help
    introduce your inlaws, and ingratiate them to you at the

    same time. Imagine, a son in law who is a baal midos
    and can cook! This way you can make the foods that you
    like and help them as well.
    You can always pre-game and post game. You can eat
    what you like before and after Shabbos and afterwards.
    It’s at most 72 hours of eating their food, (Shabbos and
    Yom Tov) and for sure there will be a kiddush. Consider
    the fact that anytime in life when you know that a
    stressful situation is coming, worrying about it will
    make it worse, but having a plan in place can reassure
    you.
    Does your fiance share your feelings? Maybe they can
    be part of the plan, ask them to help you stage a kitchen
    take-over! Besides rescuing your palatial sensibilities,
    you also can bond together while making menus and
    cooking!

    Now that the shock has worn off, consider, maybe you
    had a little bit of “tunnel vision.” Is it possible that you
    missed options that you could’ve eaten? Maybe there
    was something at each meal you could eat?
    Otherwise put a little of everything on your plate,
    move it around a little bit and nibble? Add a little salt
    and pepper? Perhaps it is a style of cooking that didn’t
    appeal to you?
    We wish you well, and hope our suggestions were
    helpful. Remember! “Man does not live by bread
    alone…” By doing the right thing and taking care of
    everyone’s feelings you will for sure have many blessings
    in your household.
    Rabbi Reuven and Shira Boshnack.