03 Dec DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

I don’t know what to do! I’m dating a guy who I totally adore his personality but
cannot deal with his disorderliness. I come from a family where everything thing has a
place, and we show up to any appointment five minutes early. My boyfriend is always a
half an hour late, and his car looks like it has every wrapper from every snack since last
pesach. What should I do? I don’t know if I can live like this.
-Don’t want to live the Slob Life

Dear Slob Life,
Hi. So sorry to hear about your problem.
This can be a complicated situation.
Have you discussed this with him in a
respectful way? What was the result? Is he
willing to try to change? Is this the way he
was raised? Is there something else going
on in his life that prevents him from being
more organized and timely or is this just
his nature?
On one hand, if this is a core value and is
too difficult for you to deal with, then you
might simply be incompatible and it might
be best to break off the relationship before

it gets more serious. At the same time,
maybe you could consider the fact that you
and your future will inevitably find things
that will rub eachother the wrong way.
The question is, how do you navigate
the tricky spots; to understand and laugh
at your differences. Sometimes, it requires
unpacking the expectations that the both
of you have. You woll hear eachothers
dreams, conconcerens, expectations and
that will enable you to grow closer together
as a couple. What are the steps that the
both of you can take toward each other?
Ultimately, you have to decide if this is a

make it or break it situation. The dating
process helps to clarify your compatibility,
not just beliefs, attitudes and how attractive
you are to each other, but also if you can
learn to work together to become a unit.
Rabbi Reuven and Shira Boshnack.