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    DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

    Dear Rabbi and Shira,
    I have been dating a guy for 2 months now. We really get along well, but I am curious to meet his family. I feel like
    meeting his family is very important to understanding my boyfriend completely, as family plays an integral part of his
    life. Whenever I bring it up to him or even my own family, they understand whay I am saying but explain that it’s only
    appropriate to meet them, once an engagement is imminent. I am frustrated by this answer and I am not sure how to
    proceed. What do you advice?
    -“Lady in waiting?”

    Dear “Lady”
    Hi, so glad to hear that things are
    progressing. You are right when
    you that you want to meet his
    family so you can understand him
    better. We are all products of our
    environment and seeing where
    he comes from can definitely
    help you to understand him and
    his world. You may discover how
    they solve problems, how they
    react under stress and understand
    more about family’s culture is.

    But sometimes there are cultural
    norms surrounding “meeting the
    parents.”
    In order to understand the situation
    more fully, we’d like you to ask some
    questions in order to proceed. Who
    is telling you “we don’t meet the
    boy’s family?” Can you ask, them,
    politely “what is the source of this
    practice?” Is this part of a custom in
    your community? Is this something
    which requires speaking to a Rav,
    Rebbitzen, mentor or Shadchan? If

    not, discuss with your “guy” whether he has any
    objections to you meeting his family. If he does,
    what are they and why? Has he met your family,
    how was it?
    The answers to these questions will help you
    navigate the situation. Hopefully learn more about
    him, his family, yourself and your relationship.
    Hatzlacha Rabah,
    Rabbi Reuven and Shira Boshnack

    “We are all
    products of our
    environment and
    seeing where
    he comes from
    can definitely
    help you to
    understand him
    and his world.”