18 Jul DEVARIM: LET THE LITTLE THINGS STAY LITTLE

The Gemara in Masechet
Gittin tells what seems at
first to be a very peculiar
story about the final years
of the life of Titus – the
Roman general who
destroyed the Bet Ha’mikdash.
Before setting the building ablaze, Titus
took all the precious vessels out of the Bet
Ha’mikdash, and he later brought them
with him on a ship back to Rome. During
the voyage, a violent storm struck, and the
ship was in danger. Titus turned to G-d and
said, mockingly, “You’re strong only at
sea! On dry land, You’re powerless! Look
what I was able to do to Your home!”
G-d decided to show Titus just how
powerful He was, and how frail Titus was
When Titus arrived back in Rome, a tiny
gnat flew into his nose. It went into his
head, and it started pecking on his brain,
causing Titus unbearable pain. He
eventually died, and an autopsy was
performed. The gnat had grown to the size
of a large bird.
What does this mean? What is the

significance of this strange episode – a tiny
gnat entering the head, causing intolerable
pain, and growing to the size of a bird?
I believe this story is not just about Titus
– it is about each and every one of us, about
one of the most common causes of friction
and tension between people, particularly
within families.
It happens so often. Something very small
– like a little gnat – enters our heard. An
uncomfortable thought or emotion. We feel
offended, hurt, jealous, angry or
resentful. This feeling is like an annoying
little gnat that flies into our nose.
There is absolutely nothing at all wrong
with these feelings. We are human, and
humans experience feelings, both good and
bad. We should never, ever look down on
ourselves for feeling offended, jealous,
angry or resentful. These emotions are
perfectly natural and perfectly acceptable.
The problem is when we let this little
“gnat” stay in our head and “pound” on our
brain, when we allow the feelings to fester,
when we dwell on them, and don’t let go of
them. If we do this, then the little gnat

grows larger and larger. We live in chronic,
unbearable pain, and eventually, we “die”
– we lose all our joy, peace of mind, and
vitality.
The key is to get rid of the little “gnat”
when it is still a little gnat. And the way we
do that is through emunah, by firmly
believing that everything is from
Hashem. When we see a family member
enjoying greater success, and we feel
jealous, this is from Hashem. When a
family member says or does something
which offends us, this is from
Hashem. These experiences happen to
make us stronger, to build our character, to
help us become more patient, more
resilient, more humble, and more focused
on the important things in life. If we believe
this, it becomes so much easier to ignore
the insult or the jealousy, and prevent the
little things from becoming big things.
As we all know, the period of mourning
for the Bet Ha’mikdash is a time to work
on eliminating the Sinat Chinam (baseless
hatred) from our midst and increasing
peace and harmony. The most important –
but also the most difficult – place where

this work must take place is within the
family. The family unit is where fights and
arguments happen most frequently,
because people are so close and the
emotions are so fragile. The way to avoid
these conflicts is by keeping the little things
small, not allowing the legitimate feelings
of pain and resentment to fester. By
placing our trust in Hashem, and
remembering that everything that happens
is because of Him, we will keep our
emotions in check and not let the little
“gnat” grow into a giant “bird.” We will
then build strong, happy families and
communities, and will be worthy of the
coming of Mashiach and the building of
the Bet Ha’mikdash, Bimheira B’yameinu,
Amen