13 Jul EGO AND HUMILITY IN TORAH STUDY

The entire chumash was dictated

to Mosheh Rabbeinu word for

word. The Rabbis had a tradition

that the Author had more than

one intention in any given

passuk. “Elokim said one thing,

but we understood from each

passuk more than one meaning”

(Tehillim 62:12, see Sanhedrin

34a). Although the Rabbis said that the literal

meaning of a passuk can never be ignored (see

Shabbos 63a), any given passuk may have more than

one level of interpretation, all intended by the

Author. The pesukim in the shishi aliyah in Parshas

Chukas describe the various travels of Bnai Yisroel

in the desert and allude to various miracles which

they experienced. The rabbis of the Talmud had a

tradition (see Avos 6:2 and Eruvin 54a) that on the

additional level of interpretation, these pesukim

allude to the study of Torah. The passuk (21:14)

which speaks of waging wars is understood by the

rabbis (Kiddushin 30b) to be implying that one must

learn Torah as if he were engaged in battle (as

Talmudic expression says, “milchamta shel Torah”).

In the words of Rav Soloveitchik, “In talmud Torah

we must not be obedient. We must have the ability to

criticize. We see how Rav Yochanan sorely missed

his companion Raish Lakish, who constantly argued

with him” (Shiurei Harav, 1994, pg. 122). To

succeed in learning one must have a healthy ego; he

must possess a “gadlus hamochin” (ego)! When

learning with another, one must act towards the other

“as if he were his enemy” in battle. A student must

partially violate kavod horav and a son learning with

his father must partially violate kibud av. Only after

the learning session is over do they again “show their

love and full respect for each other”. In the Chut

Hameshulash (the official biography of the Chasam

Sofer) the following story is related: Upon his bar

mitzva, the Chasam Sofer delivered a pilpul

consisting of an original chidush that he had

developed. He began by quoting an idea from the

Sefer Kos Yeshuos, by his great grandfather (the

Maharshashach), and then demonstrated that it was

not correct. His father was so upset by his young son’s

arrogance and disrespect for elders, that at such a

young age he should dare to disagree publicly with his

great-grandfather (the Maharshashach), that he

slapped his son in public. The child’s rebbe, Rav

Nosson Adler, turned to the father and asked, “Why

did you slap your son? He is right in his opinion!” The

rebbe then encouraged the young bar mitzva bochur

to leave his father’s home. If every time the young boy

will ask a kashe on a Tosafos or a Rambam the father

will slap him, he will stifle his originality and his

ability to develop in learning! During the Second

World War, when the students of the Mirrer Yeshiva

were traveling for a week and a half on the

transcontinental railroad towards Vladivostok, there

were non-Jewish passengers traveling on the same

train. One of the Polish non-Jews on the train later

published his memoirs and included a description of

what he had observed on that trip. He recognized that

these young people were Jewish students. He related

that while the “big books” were open, and they were

obviously “studying”, they were extremely

belligerent towards each other; sharp, seemingly

angry, and even abusive. As soon as the “big books”

were closed, they acted towards each other as the best

of friends. The non-Jew did not know what to make of

the scene! The Mirrer students were following the

Talmudic formula for studying Torah: while learning

they “waged battle” with each other, acting towards

each other like enemies. As soon as the “big books

were closed” and they were done learning, they

acted again towards each other with great love and

respect. After the “big books are closed”, not only

is it important to have love and respect for each

other, it is also imperative that one set aside his ego

and his “gadlus hamochin”, and return to a state of

“katnus hamochin” (humility). According to our

tradition, the Torah is not merely a collection of

laws; it is also a description of Elokus (Hashem’s

essence). When the Torah speaks of Moshe

Rabbeinu and states that he was the only prophet

who ever “saw the image of Hashem” (Bamidbar

12:8), this refers to the fact that Moshe is the only

prophet to whom the entire Torah, a description of

Hashem, was given,. Of course, the description is

not outright. “Elu yedaitiv – hayisiv!” (“Were I to

fully understand Hashem, I would be Him!” –

Kuzari). Only Hashem Himself can understand the

nature of Elokus. The Torah only provides a

description of Elokus by way of (mashal ) parable,

and not even an outright mashal, but rather a

mashal of a mahshal of a mashal (see Nefesh

Hachayim of Rav Chaim of Volozhin.) This is

traditionally taken to be the meaning of the passuk

in the Sefer Shmuel (I:24:13) which refers to “the

Ancient parable”. The Torah is the parable of the

Ancient One (see Rashi to Mishpatim, 21:13.) Not

only is the Ancient One the author of this parable,

but more importantly, it is a parable of Him! The

Torah is a mashal of Hashem, just as a photograph

is a mashal of the individual whose picture was

taken (Chafetz Chaim in Shem Olam.) When one,

by using his healthy ego, gains some new insight

into the Torah, what has happened is that he has

now come closer to Hakadosh Baruch Hu and

gained some added insight into His essence. One

who realizes that he has come closer to the

presence of Hashem should find that to be a greatly

humbling experience. All the while the quest for Torah

knowledge is proceeding, the student must maintain the

ego to succeed in the learning endeavor. But as soon as

“the big books are closed”, the greater the Torah

scholar, the more humble he should be (see Rav

Soloveitchik’s lecture on this topic, which appeared in

“The Light”.) The talmid chacham who is arrogant

demonstrates that he has not experienced any extra

closeness to Hashem through his added insights. If that

is the case, he does not really deserve to be granted the

Divine assistance needed to gain those new insights;

and so, according to tradition “any talmid chacham who

remains arrogant will be punished, and he will forget his

Torah knowledge” (Pesachim 66b.)