27 Aug ELUL AND TESHUVAH

Once Tu b’Av arrives we
can already wish people a
kesiva vchasima tova-to
be written and signed in
the book of good life for
the upcoming new year.
Since Elul is just about
upon us, it is a good time to start reflected
upon what the all important Elul should
mean to us.
The month of Elul is synonymous with
Teshuvah, Repentance. It is also a time
when we increase our charity as best as we
can. Smart people also make a strong effort
to patch up friendships that have gone sour,
and to make amends to people they know
that they have wronged. This is because
even the holy day of Yom Kippur itself,
with all of its afflictions and devout prayers,
only atones for the sins between us and
Hashem. The sins between our fellow man
and ourselves cannot be forgiven unless we
appease the ones we have hurt and acquired
their forgiveness.
It is for this reason that Elul is also a
time for us to be magnanimous with our
forgiveness of others for, as good Jews, we
surely don’t want anyone to be punished on
our account. Do we really want someone to

break a leg because they were nasty to us?
Let’s remember that forgiving others is a
form of compassion before Rosh Hashannah
and Yom Kippur and, as such, it is highly
effective in bettering our chances for a good
year. This is because we are taught, “Kol
hemiracheim al hebriyos merachamim alav
min HaShamayim – Whoever has mercy
upon others, Hashem will have mercy upon
him from Heaven.”
What if you find it difficult to forgive
someone? Let’s say, for example, someone
caused you to lose an exciting job opportunity
or perhaps they wrecked your chances at a
good shidduch. How could you sincerely
forgive someone who hurt you in such a
terrible way? Here’s a suggestion. Make
a deal with Hashem. Say to Him, ‘Hashem,
this person really was nasty to me and he
really doesn’t deserve my forgiveness. Still,
I am willing to forgive him even though he
doesn’t deserve it. Please, please, forgive
me for my sins even though I surely don’t
deserve it either.’
You might add the following postscript,
‘Hashem, I know that this person might
even repeat such an offense against me in
the future but I am still willing to forgive

him for now. Please forgive me as
well even though I might likewise
slip up with aveiros, sins, sometime
in the future.’
Elul is also the last month of the
year. As such it is a very vital
month for our Chazal teach us that,
“Hakal holeich achar hachasom
– Everything goes according to
the finale.” It therefore behooves
us to make the last part of the
year the very best part in every
spiritual way, whether it’s in our
davening, our bentching, making brochos
better, learning more Torah, spending more
time with our spouse, parents and children,
putting more thought into our tefillin, our
tzizis, our mezuzahs, being more careful
with taharas mishpacha [family purity],
kashrus, and Shabbos, and trying to find as
many opportunities as possible to do a full
array of gemilas chasadim [acts of kindness]
such as visiting the sick, gladdening the
hearts of brides and grooms, helping the
needy, giving respect to the dead and
showing special kindness to the widow,
orphan, converts and the poor.
But there is another angle to Elul that many
people do not realize. While we are still
acutely aware that at this time of the year
we must petition to Hashem to forgive us
and a grant us a new lease of life, and it
is for this reason that we get up early in
the morning to say the selichos prayers
thanking Hashem for forgiveness, and why
we spend most of the day of Judgment and
of course Yom Kippur in solemn prayers
begging Hashem to give us another chance
to be better people. However, there is
another side of prayer which is to thank
Hashem for all the wonderful things that
He has given us during the past year. The
central prayer that we say on the first
night of selichos has a recurring stanza
that goes like this, “Lishmoa el harina
v’el hatefillah,” where we ask Hashem
“To listen to our songs and or petitions.”
Note that we mention song first because it
is imperative that before we ask Hashem
for future privileges, we first thank Him
for all the things He’s done for us in the
past. It can be compared to the way we
are with our older children, when we spend
a lot of money on them and devote much
time to them. If they are appreciative and
voice their gratitude, it is a pleasure to do
more for them in the future. So too it is
with Hashem. As the Chovos Halevovos
succinctly puts it, “Devorim sherotzeh
lehasmid bah, al tiftach bah – Things that
you want to continue, don’t take them
for granted.” Rather, constantly thank

Hashem for all the kindness that He showers
upon us, and then it will be a pleasure for
Him to continue to do so in the future.
One of our national names is Yehudim,
which means people who give thanks, for
we understand the importance of expressing
thanks at all times. This is why we start
off everyday of our life with the expression
of Modeh Ani, thank you to Hashem, and
every Jewish man says a whopping one
hundred brochos every day. (Women say
fewer brochos because of other pressing
responsibilities to which she attend.) So, as
we prepare for the Day of Judgment, it is of
course appropriate to look at our misdeeds
in order to repair them. It is also important
to look to the future and make kabbalos,
new commitments, on how we will try to do
better. After all, we are not simply asking
Hashem to grant us just another year. We
want an even better year and therefore, in
return, we have to bring to Hashem our
commitments on how we too will do better
for the upcoming year.
But besides all of this, it is important to
look back at our past year and take note of
the many happy times we have had, all of
the successes and the nachas, and make sure
to say thank you to Hashem as we close the
year of 5774. In that merit may Hashem
bless us with a very healthy, happy, and
wonderful New Year.