01 Aug ELUL IS FAST APPROACHING

With Shabbos Nachamu
in our rear view mirrors,
all sights are on getting
ready for Elul. The month
of Elul is synonymous
with teshuva, repentance.
It is also a time when we
increase our charity as much as possible.
Smart people also make a strong effort to
patch-up friendships that have gone sour,
and to make amends to people they know
they have wronged. This is because even
the holy day of Yom Kippur itself, with
all of its afflictions and devout prayers,
only atones for the sins between ourselves
and Hashem. The sins between us and
our fellow man cannot be forgiven unless
we appease the ones we have hurt and
acquired their forgiveness.
It is for this reason that Elul is also a
time for us to be magnanimous with our
forgiveness of others for, as good Jews, we
surely don’t want anyone to be punished on
our account. Do we really want someone
to break a leg because they were nasty to
us? Let’s remember that forgiving others
is a form of compassion before Rosh
Hashanah and Yom Kippur. As such it is
highly effective in bettering our chances

for a good year. This is because we are
taught, “Kol hamiracheim al habriyos,
merachamim alav min HaShamayim –
Whoever has mercy upon others, Hashem
will have mercy upon him from Heaven.”
What if you find it difficult to forgive
someone? Let’s say for example,
someone caused you to lose an exciting
job opportunity, or perhaps they wrecked
your chances at a good shidduch. How
could you sincerely forgive someone who
hurt you in such a terrible way? Here’s
a suggestion: Make a deal with Hashem.
Say to Him, “Hashem, this person really
was nasty to me. He really doesn’t deserve
my forgiveness, but I am willing to forgive
him even though he doesn’t deserve it.
Please, please forgive me for my sins
even though I surely don’t deserve it.”
You might add the following postscript,
“Hashem, I know that this person might
even repeat such an offense against me in
the future, but I am still willing to forgive
him-for now. Please forgive me as well
even though I might likewise slip-up with
aveiros sometime in the future.”
Elul is also the last month of the year. As
such it is a very vital month, for our Chazal

teach us that, “Hakol holeich achar
hachasom – Everything goes according
to the finale.” It therefore behooves us
to make the last part of the year the very
best part in every spiritual way, whether
it’s in our davening, our bentching, in
our making brachos,better, by learning
more Torah, by spending more time
with our spouse, parents and children,
by putting more thought into our tefillin,
tzizis, mezuzah, by being more careful
with taharas mishpacha, family purity,
kashrus, and Shabbos, and trying to
find as many opportunities as possible
to do a full array of gemilas chasadim,
acts of kindness, such as visiting the
sick, gladdening the hearts of brides and
grooms, helping the needy, giving respect
to the dead and showing special kindness
to the widow, orphan, converts and the
poor.
But there is another angle to Elul that
many people do not realize. We are
acutely aware that at this time of the year
we must petition Hashem to forgive us
and a grant us a new lease of life, and it
is for this reason that we get up early in
the morning to say the Selichos, prayers
thanking Hashem for forgiveness, and we
spend most of the Day of Judgment
and, of course, Yom Kippur in solemn
prayers begging Hashem to give us
another chance to be better people.
However, there is another side of
prayer, and that is to thank Hashem
for all the wonderful things that He
has given us during the past year. The
central prayer we say on the first night
of Selichos has a recurring stanza,
“Lishmoa el harina v’el hatefillah.”
We ask Hashem to listen to our songs
and our petitions.
Note that we mention song first
because it is imperative that before
we ask Hashem for future privileges,
we first thank Him for all the things
He’s done for us in the past. It can be
compared to the way we are with our
older children, when we spend a lot of
money on them and devote much time
to them. If they are appreciative and
voice their gratitude, it is a pleasure
to do more for them in the future. So
too, it is with Hashem. As the Chovos
Halvovos succinctly puts it, “Devorim
sherotzeh lehasmid bah, al tiftach bah
– Things that you want to continue,
don’t take them for granted.” Rather,
constantly thank Hashem for all the
kindness that He showers upon us, and
then it will be a pleasure for Him to
continue to do so in the future.
One of our national names is

Yehudim, which means ‘people who give
thanks.’ We understand the importance
of expressing thanks at all times. This is
why we start off every day of our lives
with the expression of Modeh Ani, thank
you to Hashem. This is also why every
Jewish man says a whopping 100 brachos
every day. (A women says fewer brachos
because of other pressing responsibilities
she needs to attend to.)
So, as we prepare for the Day of
Judgement, of course it is appropriate to
look to the past at our misdeeds in order
to repair them. It is also most important to
look to the future and make kabalos, new
commitments on how we will try to do
better. After all, we are not simply asking
Hashem to grant us just another year, we
want an even better year and therefore in
return we have to bring to Hashem our
commitments on how we too will do better
for the upcoming year. But besides all of
this, it is important to look back at out
past year and take note of the many happy
times we have had, the successes and the
nachas, and make sure to say thank you to
Hashem as we close the year of 5783.
In that merit may Hashem bless us with
a very healthy, happy, and wonderful new
year.