03 Sep ELUL STRATEGIES

With Elul upon us,
we acutely realize
that a lot is at stake at
this time of year. I’d
like to share with you
a few atrategies that I
think you might find
helpful to jumpstart the season They are
based upon three principles. The first
principle is, If we want Hashem to give
us a better year, He is very agreeable to
do so if we show Him how we will be
better in the coming year. So, inserted in
our Machzor for Rosh Hashana and Yom

Kippur should be a well thought out To-
Do-Better List. The second principle is

based upon what Rav Shlomo Lorincz,
Z”l, the great biographer of the Gedolei
Yisroel, was told by Rav Shach, Zt”l,
Zy”a. When Rav Lorincz had a heart
attack, Rav Shach came to visit him.
Rav Lorincz told him that he wanted to
take upon himself a new kabolah, a new
commitment to Hashem for being saved
from the heart attack. What, he asked,
should he accept upon himself. Rav Shach
gave him the following guideline. Make
it something small – big commitments

often fall by the wayside. Therefore, our
To-Do-Better List should be made up of
small calibrations in our lifestyle, little
baby-steps in our spirituality. The third
principle is to keep in mind the goal, and
that is V’shavta ad Hashem Elokecha –
And you should return to Hashem your
G-d. The focus of tshuvah is not just to
stop sinning but to come closer in our
daily activities to Hashem.
With these three rules in mind, here are a
few suggestions to include in our personal
To-Do-Better List.
Buy two extra yarmalkas. Keep one in
your tallis bag so that when you put on
your tallis and tefilin you will have a fresh
and sweat-free yarmalka in honor of you
tefilah and the tallis and tefilin. Then
put the other one away so that you will
use it specifically for Shabbos and Yom
Tov. This to-do item costs about five
dollars per nice yarmalka and the effort is
relatively minimal but the gains are great
for our yarmalka, which is a corruption of
the words yorei Malka, fear of the King
(in Aramaic), helps us to focus more on
Hashem. When we switch the yarmalka
more often, besides getting an extra act

of honoring the Sabbath and our
prayers, we will be more focused
on the message of the yarmalka,
that Hashem is above us and, as
we said, this is the main thrust of
tshuvah.
Here’s another. Make a
commitment that once a day when
passing a mezuzah you won’t just
kiss it, or breeze right by it, but
instead you will put your hand of
the mezuzah letting it linger there
for a few seconds while thinking
that Hashem is with you as you
enter or leave the room. This is a drill
that will help you be more focused on the
many mezuzahs of the day and give you a
little private time of yiras Shamayim.
In our frenetic world of texting and
whatnot, when we’ve become masters of
multi-tasking, and more than often we are
behind the 8-ball when it comes to free
time, we need to be vigilant that we are
living up to the responsibilities of kibud
av v’eim. Remember Hashem informs us
that there are three partners in a human
being, Hashem, the father, and the
mother. Hashem tells us that the way we
pay attention to our parents is a litmus
test to our relationship with Him. All
too often, we are very negligent in this
vital responsibility. Here’s a suggestion.
Buy a package of postcards. Stamp and
address them in advance. Then, twice
a week, send your parents a postcard
even if you live two blocks away. Just
jot down the latest things going on in
your life. You will find that this doesn’t
take long but will give great joy to your
parents and great nachas to Hashem.
(Of course, this should supplement to,
and not replacement for, your visits and
calls.)
When it comes to your spouse,
remember, if we make ourselves needed
in our marital relationship, then Hashem
will be loath to break the marital set, and
will be ready to overlook many of our
even blatant misdeeds. So put on your
thinking cap on and make a commitment
that once a week you’ll do something
that is sure to put a smile on your mate’s
face. Perhaps a piece of watermelon,
a new book or sefer, a walk around the
block, a surprise call just to say hello, or
even a funny joke by text message. One
sure way to accomplish this mission is
with a well thought out compliment or
praise for something your partner did or

accomplished. This is always a sure way
to make someone happy. Try to identify
your mate’s little secret wishes and
dreams and make it a goal to bring them
to fruition. Remember: we’re not talking
mink coats and new kitchens! We’re
talking about a surprise Sunday outing,
a scented candle, a brocha from a Rebbe
and many other thoughtful gestures. This
is a hard one but it is a very great defense
against the prosecutor.
If you don’t rinse out your mouth in
the morning before davening, grab the
commitment to do so. You can fix in your
mind that you are doing it so that the many
Names of Hashem that you will articulate
during davening will come from a clean
and pleasant source.
If you daven Shachris late , make sure
to say krias shma beforehand and if you
daven maariv early make sure to say krias
shma again later. We don’t want to mess
up the proper fulfillment of our major
declaration of accepting upon ourselves
the yoke of heaven.
These are just some ideas to spark your
imagination. I leave it up to you to come
up with your own. In the merit of our
own tshuvah, may we all be blessed with
a chasima tova u’mesukah, a year where
we know no medical scares, a year that is
blessed with good health, happiness and
everything wonderful.