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    ELUL STRATEGIES

    As we get closer and
    closer to Rosh HaShanah,
    the day that our fate and
    the fates of our loved
    ones are decided, I would
    like to share with my
    dear readers some vital,
    lifesaving strategies.
    The Orchos Chaim l’HaRav Luniel, zt”l, zy”a,
    makes the following stupendous statement,
    “Harotzeh l’harich yomim, hevei marbeh
    b’achim v’rei’im – If someone wants to
    lengthen his days, let him increase his relatives
    and friends.” The idea behind this is that
    Hashem will not take someone away from this
    world, even if they don’t deserve to be here, if
    they are very needed by someone else. Thus, it
    says by Nadav and Avihu, who were Divinely
    executed for a sin in the Mishkon, that if they
    would’ve been married or if they had children
    they would not have died, since fulfilling their
    wife’s needs or their children’s needs would
    have saved them.
    It is therefore imperative, as we approach Rosh
    HaShanah, to ask ourselves, “Am I a worthy
    eizer, helper to my husband?” “Do I fulfil
    v’simach es ishto, making my wife happy?”
    Successfully carrying out these actions could
    literally be a matter of life and death.
    Similarly, are we a support and a presence in
    the lives of our children, grandchildren and

    great grandchildren? The Chasam Sofer, zt”l,
    zy”a, cites the verse, “V’hosircha Hashem
    b’fri bit’n’cha – And Hashem will give you
    additions because of the fruit of your womb.
    He interprets this to mean, “If we make
    ourselves useful to our descendants, Hashem
    will keep us around longer because of this.”
    The same thing is obviously true when we
    are a source of support, comfort, and joy to
    our elderly parents. When we go out of the
    way to be there for them, even when it is time
    consuming and difficult, we protect ourselves
    with the Divine assurance of, “L’ma’an
    yarichun yomecha – In order that you should
    prolong your life.” There are many examples
    of making ourselves needed, such as when we
    are a source of solace and strength to a lonely
    widow, widower or divorcé, are thoughtful,
    patient, and empathetic with a person going
    through a divorce, or encouraging and
    inspiring to an older single.
    Remember the Golden Rule: Hashem doesn’t
    take someone away when they are needed.
    Another important strategy, as we start
    intensifying our prayers with the saying of
    Selichos, is to remember that if our mouths
    are sullied by lashon hara / sinful gossip,
    ona’as devarim / hurtful words, or nival peh
    / vulgarities, that mouth cannot possibly be
    effective in petitioning Hashem for one’s
    needs.

    Yet another important consideration is that, at
    this time of the year, we approach Hashem with
    a posture of brokenness and humility, knowing
    full well the litany of vices and shortcomings
    that we have tallied during the previous year.
    Since we approach Hashem like a poor man
    begging for mercy, it behooves us to beef
    up our tzedakah, our charity output until, “It
    hurts,” as Rav Moshe Wolfson, zt”l, zy”a,
    would say. In that way, measure for measure,
    may Hashem shower us with His beneficence
    although we are unworthy.
    Of course, the greatest merit of all is adding
    to our Torah study budget. As we all know,
    “Talmud Torah k’neged kulom – The learning
    of Torah equals the sum of all other mitzvos
    put together.” The Gemara teaches us
    categorically that Torah is, “Meigan u’matzlei
    – It shields and It saves.” What better way to
    ask for a new year than to show Hashem that
    we want to use our time to learn Torah? For
    Torah is the very reason that Hashem created
    the world. As it says, “Bereishis bara Elokim,”
    and Rashi says, “Bishvil haTorah shenikreis
    Reishis – [That G-d created the world] for the
    Torah, which is called Reishis.”
    [My wife, Shoshy Weiss, LCSW-R, is offering
    an exciting Zoom opportunity called, “IFS
    (Internal Family Systems) Inner Circle.” This
    Zoom group, for women only, will be a safe and
    secure place for authentic sharing, connection,
    and growth through the IFS method. This

    group will be limited to 7 participants so it will
    be an intimate and productive program. We
    will begin after Sukkos (date/day/time TBD),
    and sessions will be weekly for 75 minutes.
    Registration is now open. For more information
    and to see the full ad, call/text 845-270-3699
    or visit ShoshyWeissIFSTherapist.com.]
    If we are fulfilling Hashem’s plan, then He will
    certainly want to keep us around.
    May we be successful with these strategies and
    in their merit may Hashem bless us with long
    life, good health, and everything wonderful.