14 May EMOR: CHINUCH BY EXAMPLE

The parashah begins
with the words (21:1),
“Say to the kohanim,
the sons of Aharon and
say to them…” The
word “say” is written
twice in this sentence.
Rashi explains, “The
older kohanim should
train the younger
kohanim.” “Tell the older
kohanim… to train the
younger kohanim” to be
cautious with the unique
laws of kehunah.
This pasuk discusses
chinuch, the way the older kohanim should
train the younger ones. Therefore, we can
glean from this section guidance in chinuch
habanim.
A primary rule of chinuch is to be a role
model. More than with words, parents teach
by being a good example. We can learn this
from Avraham Avinu, as it states (Bereishis
18:7), “Avraham ran to the cattle, took a tender
and good calf, and gave it to the youth who
hurried to prepare it.”
Rashi writes that the lad was Yishmael.
Avraham wanted Yishmael to prepare the meat
for the guests to train him to do mitzvos. But
Avraham himself brought the calf. He didn’t

send Yishmael to bring the cattle; he only had
him prepare it. This is because the best way to
educate children is by example. Yishmael saw
his father rush to get animals for the guests and
then Yishmael, too, prepared them quickly (as
it states “he hurried to prepare it”). He learned
from his father’s example.
B’derech remez, we can say that Rashi is
hinting at this lesson when he writes (21:1)
“Lehazhir Gedolim Al Hakitanim. This can be
translated as, the adults’ deeds and their good
ways should shine and influence the younger
generation.
This is why the masechta on good middos is
called Pirkei Avos, Chapters of the Fathers. It
is called Avos, “Fathers,” because one of the
primary ways to train children is when the
parents act how they want their children to
behave.
Chazal (Bava Kama 97:) say, “What coin did
Avraham Avinu have? There was an old man
and an old woman on one side of the coin and
a lad and a girl on the other.” The old and the
young are on two sides of the same coin to
indicate that the young are influenced by the
old. They are on the same coin because the
youth learn from those who are older than
them.
It states (Bereishis 12:3), “All families of the
earth shall bless themselves through you.”
Rashi explains that this means people will

want their children to be like Avraham Avinu.
Rashi writes, “A father says to his son, ‘You
shall be like Avraham.’” It is explained that
parents want to live like Avraham’s father,
Terach, and do whatever their hearts desire,
and expect their children to be righteous. They
tell their children, “You should be like
Avraham, but not me.” It doesn’t work that
way. If parents don’t improve their ways, they
can’t expect their children to be better than
them.
Reb Yaakov Galinsky zt’l told the following
mashal:
A poor non-Jew was jealous of the poor
Yidden, who went around the shuls during
davening collecting money. So, one day, he
decided to wear Jewish clothing, pretend he
was a Yid and do the same. It was a financially
wise decision because he earned some money
each day during the tefillos.
One day, he heard one of the collectors
announce, “Raboisay! I’m a ger tzedek. The
Torah says forty-eight times that one must love
converts!” Everyone gave him generously.
The non-Jew saw that this announcement
helped the Yid earn more money, so he began
making this announcement as well. In every
beis medresh, he announced that he was a ger
tzedek, and people gave him generously.
One day, he heard one of his fellow collectors

announce, “I’m a descendant of the Baal Shem
Tov zt’l.” He noticed that people gave him
more money in honor of his illustrious
grandfather.
So, the goy decided to try this out as well. He
announced, “I’m an einekel of the Baal Shem
Tov, and I’m a ger tzedek, too.”
He was quickly banished from the beis
medresh.
Reb Yankele Galinsky zt’l says that the same
is when parents tell their children to act a
certain way, but they themselves don’t practice
what they preach. They are contradicting
themselves, so their words are ineffective.
Teaching by example is essential, but it is
even better when words accompany these
lessons.