28 Apr EMOR: THE INTELLIGENCE OF RESPECT

We are currently
observing the period of
sefirat ha’omer, when
we refrain from festive
celebrations and from
haircutting and shaving,
as we mourn the tragic death of Rabbi
Akiva’s thousands of students. The Gemara
(Yevamot 62b) famously teaches that Rabbi
Akiva’s students died as a punishment for
their failure to treat each other with proper
respect: Shelo Nahagu Kavod Zeh Bazeh.
The obligation to treat people with respect
is exceedingly difficult – far more difficult
than we tend to think.
Elsewhere, in Masechet Nedarim (81a), the
Gemara makes the observation that many
Torah scholars have children who do not
follow their father’s example, and do not
become Torah scholars themselves. The
Gemara proceeds to bring several possible
reasons why this is so. One reason, offered
by Rav Ashi, is striking. Rav Ashi said:
“Because they call people ‘donkeys’.”
According to Rav Ashi, many great Rabbis
are not worthy of having children who
become great Rabbis because they look

down on other people, and they treat them
like “donkeys.”
I find this Gemara very frightening.
I find it frightening because there is no
question that the Rabbis described by the
Gemara did not intend to treat people like
“donkeys.” If we are aware of the obligation
to treat people with respect, then obviously
great Rabbis are also aware of this mitzvah.
But many of them are still guilty of treating
others like “donkeys” without realizing it.
Why?
The answer is that when somebody is good
at something, when he is accomplished in
any area, it is so easy for him to look down
on, and to disrespect, other people who
aren’t as good as he is in that area. If a
person is an accomplished Torah scholar, it
is so easy for him to look down on people
who aren’t Torah scholars. If a person is a
successful businessman with lots of money,
it is so easy for him to look down on people
who earn a modest livelihood and live
simply. When a person excels in some
professional field, it is so easy for him to
look down on people who aren’t familiar
with his field.

Treating people with respect does not come
naturally. It is a skill that we need to learn
and develop. It requires thought and effort.
King Shlomo instructs us in Mishleh (3:4),
“And find favor and sound wisdom in the
eyes of G-d and man.” This means that
finding favor in people’s eyes requires
“sound wisdom,” a good deal of intelligence.
We need to be smart. We need to think
carefully and understand how people work.
And we need to be aware of ourselves, of
our tendency to feel superior to others, so
we can resist this tendency.
There is also another reason why the
Gemara says that some outstanding scholars
treat others like “donkeys.”
When a person strives for greatness, he
might feel entitled to knock over other
people in the process. If a person is
ambitious and does great things, he could
forget about the basic, simple things. He
might not take the time to give people his
attention and to extend himself to help
them. In other words, a person who is
preoccupied with being great might neglect
being good.

This, too, requires wisdom and intelligence.
Of course we must pursue greatness – but
with the sound wisdom to remember to be
not just great, but good, that the amazing
things we’re involved in do not absolve us
of our basic obligations toward other
people.
During this period of sefirat ha’omer, let us
try to develop the wisdom to treat all people
with respect, no matter who they are.