10 Aug FULFILLED NOT FILLED

“V’achalta v’savata, u’veirachta es
HaShem…, And you will eat and be satisfied,
and you shall bless HaShem….” (Devarim
8:10)
To bentch. The mitzva of reciting Birchas
HaMazon, thanking HaShem upon completing
a meal that included bread, is found in this
week’s parsha, Eikev. Just as saying thank
you has the power of drawing people closer,
so too, does reciting brachos and bentching
connect man to HaShem. Be it a delicious
homemade meal, a gourmet restaurant dinner,
or even a simple peanut-butter sandwich, all
require Birchas HaMazon.
Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch, in his
commentary on the siddur, teaches that the
words of bentching help us realize that every
piece of bread, from artisan sourdough to
simple white, is a gift from HaShem. Just as
HaShem provided mon from heaven to the
Dor HaMidbar, the Generation of the Desert,
everything on our table comes from HaShem.
I know of a great successful guy who was

set up with an equally accomplished young
woman. The morning after they met, the
young woman called the shadchan, telling
her it was a definite no. Curious to find out
why, the shadchan began probing for an
explanation.
“Did he come on time? Did he treat you
well? Did the conversation flow? Were his
mannerisms proper?”
The young woman answered that not only
did he arrive on time, but he even came
with flowers. He took her to an amazing
restaurant. They had an enjoyable dinner.
He was charming and intelligent, and a great
conversationalist.
The shadchan was baffled. It all sounded so
good. “So, why the ‘no’?”
When pressed further, the woman shared
how at the end of the meal, he pulled out a
bentching card and began to recite Birchas
HaMazon. “A great guy, but that’s not for me.
I was ill-at-ease sitting in a public venue with
a dinner-mate mumbling from a card. A great
guy, but not for me.”
The shadchan tried explaining that someone

who appreciates that HaShem provides, is
someone to whom thanking is part of his very
being. Someone who will be able to show
gratitude and appreciation to a wife as well.
Unfortunately, this line of reasoning fell upon
deaf ears…. At least at that moment.
Rabbi Chanoch Teller shares an anecdote. He
and his wife are known for having an open
home, always welcoming guests, particularly
not-yet frum
young people. Often, he would meet people
at the Kosel or on the streets of Yerushalayim
and invite them in for a Shabbos meal.

Rabbi Teller writes of a time when a college-
age woman came for a meal at which several

other guests were present. In the midst of the
meal, she got up, excusing herself, saying
that she just couldn’t connect to people who
talk to their food. Having seen and heard it
all, Rabbi Teller and his family took this in
stride.
About a year later, there was a knock on
the Teller door. When Rabbi Teller opened
it, there was a modestly dressed woman
asking “Does the Rabbi remember me?” She
continued and explained that she was the girl
who had a hard time connecting to people who
talked to their food. But, she had to admit
that something about that scene touched a
chord in her neshama. It started her spiritual
journey, studying and learning about Torah
and mitzvos. She came to thank the Tellers
for setting her on the track of Yiddishkeit.
Thanking HaShem. Thanking those around
us. A life lesson we try to impart even to the
youngest.
Recently, my daughter took her children
out for dinner at a local pizza shop. After
the meal, her nine-year-old son picked up
a bentching card. Slowly, and with deep
concentration, he began saying Birchas
HaMazon. An elderly man, who was eating
his pizza at an adjacent table, observed my
grandson. Though it wasn’t his child, the
expression on the man’s face showed that
he was clearly having real nachas.
The man approached my daughter, asking
if the young boy was her son. When she
answered in the affirmative, he put a dollar
bill on the table for “the well-deserving
boy”.
I couldn’t help but chuckle when my
daughter called to share the story. But, then
I thought, just look how much nachas this
man had from seeing one little boy bentch.
Multiply that by the millions, and we can’t
even imagine the nachas HaShem has from
his children on earth.

Whether in a fancy restaurant, around a
Shabbos table, or in a pizza shop, gratitude
transforms an ordinary moment into a
spiritual connection.
“V’savata, And you will be satisfied.” But
what about the person who isn’t satisfied?
What about the family that struggles to put a
filling-meal on their table? Besides, according
to Rabbinic law, we are obligated to say
Birchas HaMazon even upon consuming as
little as a k’zayis.
Our sages understood that the essence of
Birchas HaMazon is to recognize HaShem’s
providing sustenance, regardless of the extent
of one’s feeling of fullness. My mother a”h
would expound, that we ask HaShem to
look at the beauty of Am Yisroel, the inner
strength of the Jewish people, who are able
to say thanks even on small amounts of
food, even when not satiated. In that merit,
HaShem should look kindly towards us, and
bless our nation, even though He may not be
entirely satisfied with our actions.
This Shabbos, we read the fourth chapter
of Pirkei Avos, where Ben Zoma teaches
“Who is wealthy, one who is happy with his
portion.”
Satisfaction is a blessing in itself. When
one is satisfied with his lot in life, he is
free from the struggle of “keeping up with
the Schwartzes”. The need to always have
the latest must-haves on Instagram. To be
unburdened from outside pressures. A person
who is “sameach b’chelko, happy with his
portion” has the blessing of V’savata, to be
satisfied.
“V’savata, u’veirachta, You will be satisfied
and you will bless.” “The Torah links
satisfaction with gratitude — not because
one always follows the other, but because
expressing gratitude can create satisfaction,
even when our plates or lives feel less than
full. This week’s parsha teaches us what
showing gratitude is all about. One can
be “fulfilled” without being “filled”. This
important lesson applies not only to the
amount of food we eat, but to every facet of
our lives.