02 Apr HALACHICALLY SPEAKING: HIDING AND “STEALING” THE AFIKOMAN
One of the most
interesting customs of
the Pesach seder is to
“steal the afikoman.”
Weeks before Pesach
the children plan their
afikoman present and
where to hide the
afikoman. What is the
source of this custom?
Is this custom practiced
by everyone? Are there any other customs
related to afikoman?
Breaking the Matzah
At yachatz the middle matzah is broken in
two. The larger piece is taken for afikoman
and smaller one for hamotzi.
Where to Place the Afikoman Matzah?
Underneath the Cloth
Many have the custom to place the afikoman
matzah “underneath a cloth” as the yiddin did
when they left Mitzrayim. This means to wrap
it in a cloth.
On Shoulders
Some people have the custom to place the
afikoman matzah on their shoulder as a
remembrance to what we did while exiting
Mitzrayim.
Under a Pillow
Many have the custom to place the afikoman
matzah under the pillow which they recline on
during the seder. Although one should avoid
placing food under a bed or where he lays
down, this is permitted. Some poskim suggest
that we do this so that the children who steal
the afikoman will not be seen be everybody.
Walking Around the House
Some people take the afikoman matzah
and walk around the house with it on their
shoulders, saying that this is what our fathers
did when leaving Mitrzayim. However, many
poskim stress that this should be done before
eating the matzah at the time of afikoman, and
not after yachatz. Others keep the matzah on
their shoulder from yachatz until the afikoman
is eaten.
Which Custom
There are many customs regarding this
matter; all are acceptable.
Other Reasons for Hiding the Afikoman
One of the most well known reasons for hiding
the matzah is to arouse the children’s curiosity.
This also prevents us from eating it before the
proper time. Other poskim explain that the
afikoman represents the korbon Pesach. Just
as the korbon Pesach needed to be watched,
so too the afikoman needs to be watched.
Based on this, some say that the child should
return the afikoman right before we are ready
to eat it. Others compare this to the custom of
covering the challah during kiddush, so that
the challah does not get embarrassed. So too,
we cover (and hide) the afikoman matzah so
it should not be embarrassed when we eat the
other half of the matzah for motzi matzah.
The Sefas Emes says that the geulah of
Mitzrayim is a preparation for future geulos.
Since we are still in golus, we cover the
afikoman as a remez that the geulah is hidden
and not yet complete.
Giving it to Someone Else
The Shulchan Aruch prescribes that one
should give the afikoman to someone else
to watch in order to make sure that it is not
eaten during the meal until the proper time.
Instead, we allow the child to take it from us.
This fulfills the same purpose, as the child
will ensure that the afikoman is not forgotten,
and there is no need to give it to someone else.
“Stealing” the Afikoman Custom
A widespread custom in klal yisroel is that
children steal the afikoman and hide it in
return for a prize. Some quote this as being
a beautiful custom. The Noheg Katzon
Yosef says that this custom should not
be abolished. The custom spread as older
children and wives also steal the afikoman
and ask for prizes.
Reasons
The Gemorah says that we grab matzos on
the night of Pesach so that the children do
not fall asleep. The Rambam says that we
do unusual things on the night of Pesach
in order to arouse the children’s curiosity.
One thing is “grabbing matzah from one
another.” Some say that is the source of the
custom of children grabbing the afikoman
matzah. (Those who disagree with this
custom say that this Rambam is not
referring to the afikoman matzah. Rather, it
means that adults grab the matzos in order
that the child should ask why this night
is different. In addition, see below for other
translations of the word “chotfin.- grabbing”).
Others offer the following reason for the
custom of “stealing” the afikoman. We know
that the dogs did not bark on the night of
yetzias Mitrzayim. The Gemorah says that
people steal when dogs do not bark, since the
dogs are not a deterrent. Since stealing took
place on that night, the custom is to steal the
afikoman as well.
Other Interpretations of the Gemorah
Rashi on the Gemorah says that “grabbing”
means that the seder plate should be lifted up
so the children will ask about it, or that we
should eat early.
Others explain that during the year the one
who makes the bracha eats first, followed by
the other participants. However, on the night
of Pesach the guests can “grab” even before
the leader eats in order that the children will
ask and not fall asleep. In addition, even those
sources that explain the Gemorah literally
make no mention of the children grabbing
the afikoman. Therefore, some say that the
custom to steal the afikoman is based on a
mistaken reading of the Gemorah.
Why is Stealing Permitted?
Theft is normally prohibited, even if it is
done for a joke, in order not to accustomed
oneself to steal. In addition, it can be argued
that telling children to steal the afikoman
is bad chinuch. However, if the thief is a
member of the household then there is no
concern because the owner of the house does
not mind. Based on this, there is no concern
of stealing the afikoman since this is part of
the seder. This is not considered stealing for
a joke.
We find for other Yomim Tovim that certain
actions which are generally forbidden are
permitted on, i.e. damaging someone else
because of the joy of Yom Tov. So too,
stealing the afikoman is permitted because of
simcha.
Not to Steal the Afikoman
Many frown on this custom since it is not the
way of the Torah to let children steal even
for a joke. The Mishnah Berurah does not
mention this custom, and it could be because
he was not happy with it. This is the practice
of the Sefardim and many Chassidishe sects.
However, one who has this custom need not
refrain.
Other Advice
Another potential problem is that the
afikoman might be placed anywhere in the
house, and the child might actually forget its
location. It would not be considered watched
(see above). Therefore, some poskim suggest
that the child should tell his mother where
he put the afikoman and then the mother will
give him a prize. This custom is not widely
practiced.
“Grabbing” the Afikoman
Even those who follow the custom of stealing
the afikoman should call it “grabbing” the
afikoman, rather than stealing the afikoman.
Other Halachos Related to Grabbing the
afikoman
As stated earlier, sometimes the child chooses
a good hiding place for the afikoman and he
forgets where it is. The poskim say in such a
case one should just take a different matzah
and use it for afikoman.
Where Not to Put the Afikoman
The child should be instructed not to hide the
afikoman in the bathroom, or a place which
has water. In addition, it should not be placed
under a bed.
Asking for a Prize
When the afikoman is returned, the child
asks for a prize. Sometimes this prize can
be beyond the means of his father. There are
many variables in this situation; therefore,
one should discuss this matter with his Rav
when the question arises.
Guests
If one’s host does not follow the custom of
stealing the afikoman, then he should tell his
children not to take it.
Segulos With the Afikoman
Hanging the Afikoman
The Gemorah states that hanging bread in a
basket causes poverty. This inyan is brought
by many poskim as well. Children routinely
put their sandwiches in knapsacks, which are
then hung on pegs on the wall in school. The
poskim maintain there is no reason to refrain
from hanging knapsacks in this manner.
Some people have a custom to place the
afikoman as a shemirah on top of the door.
This is not considered hanging bread. Some
poskim maintain that one should use the
matzah of the second night for this purpose.
The piece of afikoman should be burnt at the
burning of chometz on Erev Pesach.