29 Jun HALACHICALLY SPEAKING: ZECHER L’CHURBAN

Many people are not properly familiar with the halachos of zecher l’churban which apply today even though the bais hamikdosh was destroyed thousands of years ago. The Shulchan Aruch says a yira shomayim should “worry” about the destruction of the bais hamikdosh, and whoever mourns over the churban will merit seeing it rebuilt. Although it is not possible to understand what we lost when the bais hamikdosh was destroyed, since the kedusha at that time was so great, we are still obligated to mourn over its loss. Each generation that the bais hamikdosh is not re-built is as if we destroyed it.

One has to remember that aveilus over the churban applies all year (by doing zecher l’churban), and not just during the three weeks.

Al Naros Bavel

As a remembrance of the churban the poskim write that one should recite al naros bavel before bentching during the week, on days that tachnun is recited. The reason for saying this tefilla is to worry about the churban each seuda that one washes. The minhag seems to be that people are careful to say al naros bavel during the nine days, but do not say it the rest of the year. It is unclear what the basis for this custom is.

Amah by Amah

When the bais hamikdosh was destroyed the chachumim established that anything that brings joy should be accompanied by a zecher l’churban, since without Yerushalayim and the bais hamikdosh there is no real joy.

One who has a house should leave a part of the wall without plaster or paint. The blank portion should measure one amah by one amah and should be square not shorter or longer on any side, however, this is not meakev. One who makes an amah by amah in his house is guaranteed that his house will stand forever and nothing with happen to it. Some say the minhag is to be lenient with this din because modern houses are made will sand mixed into the plaster. However, very often the sand mixed into the plaster is not real and so this heter would fall away. Indeed, many have the custom to make a zecher l’churban.

Where to Place the Amah by Amah

One is supposed to see the amah by amah whenever he walks into his house. Therefore, l’chatchilah it should be made opposite the door of the house. The zecher l’churban also should not be blocked by a curtain etc. Some have a custom to make it above the door. Others say it can be made anywhere if one makes it larger than an amah by amah. One who cannot make it on the wall opposite the entrance should make it as close to that wall as possible.

Each Room

Some poskim maintain that an amah by amah should be made in every room of one’s house. Even according to this opinion, a room which is not four amos by four amos or a hallway are not required to have a zecher l’churban. Nonetheless, the minhag is to be lenient and follow the majority of the poskim who maintain that the obligation is only in one room.

What to do?

One should peel a piece of paint or plaster from the wall. There is an opinion in the poskim which maintains that if one’s wife does not want the sheetrock or plaster peeled off then one may paint a spot measuring an amah by amah a different color than the rest of the wall. However, doing so is not l’chatchilah.

One who puts up wallpaper (and does not paint) is also obligated to leave a part of the wall unfinished.

Writing / Pictures of Zecher L’churban

Some people instead of making an amah by amah as a zecher l’churban write “zecher l’churban” after painting a part of the wall black. Although many are opposed to this practice, one who does so does not have to be stopped. Some people hang up a nice sign or a picture of the bais hamikdosh to use instead of making a zecher l’churban. Many poskim say that doing so does not fulfill the halacha of making a zecher l’churban.

Buying a House from a non-Jew

One who bought a house from a non-Jew is not obligated to make a zecher l’churban in his house since the non-Jew was not obligated to make one. However, one who renovates to the bare walls and re-builds from scratch would be obligated to leave a zecher l’churban. Since many people who buy houses from non-Jews do not renovate to the bare walls, many people do not have to make a zecher l’churban.

Bought from a Jew

One who bought a house from a Jew who did not make a zecher l’churban, is required to make one when he moves in if he knows that the original Jew did not buy the house from a non-Jew. There is a discussion in the poskim as to who makes the zecher l’churban if a Jew rents from another Jew.

Investment Property

One is not required to make an amah by amah in a house which is purchased for investment purposes.

Shul / Bais Medrash

The custom is that a zecher l’churban does not have to be made in a shul or a bais medrash.

Yeshiva

No zecher l’churban is needed in a Yeshiva.

Yerushalayim

The halacha of making a zecher l’churban also applies to those who live in Yerushalayim even though they can see the churban.

Bungalow/ Summer Home

It would seem that a bungalow is exempt from the requirement of making a zecher l’churban. A summer home has the same halacha as a regular house, and would require a zecher l’churban.

Wedding Hall

Although meiker hadin a wedding hall should have zecher l’churban, many are lenient with this.

Wedding

T’nayim

The minhag is to break a plate at the t’nayim as a zecher l’churban. The breaking should be done by any of the machatanim (usually the women). The minhag is to break a complete plate.

Ashes on the Forehead

Before going to the chupah, ashes are placed on the chosson’s forehead in the place where the tefillin are put onand the chosson should say im eshchacheich… Although some say the custom is to remove the ashes immediately after putting them on, it seems that most people leave the ashes on the chosson’s forehead. Some say that the kallah also gets ashes placed on her forehead. Some people do either the placing of the ashes or the breaking of the glass (see next paragraph), however, the custom of most people is to do both.

Breaking a Glass under the Chupah

The custom is that the chosson breaks a glass under the chupah as a zecher l’churban. The glass is broken with his right foot. The reason why the chosson breaks a glass now and not the plate at the t’nayim, is because at the t’nayim his simcha is not yet complete. The glass is wrapped in a napkin in order to prevent the chosson from hurting his foot. There is no concern of b’al tashchis with breaking the glass because it is being done for mitzvah purposes. The seforim mention why a glass is broken by the chupah, and a plate (earthernware) at the t’nayim.

The glass is broken after the sheva berochos are recited. Today, many people sing im eshkacheich… before breaking the glass. Some poskim maintain that mazel tov should not be said immediately after the glass is broken because one is supposed to be remembering the churban at that time. Nevertheless, the minhag is to say mazel tov immediately after breaking the glass.

Crowns

A chosson does not wear a crown by the chasana, and the kallah does not wear a crown of gold, silver, or precious stone because of zecher l’churban. The Aruch Ha’shulchan says he is not sure what crowns this is referring to.

Wearing Less Jewelry

Women who get dressed up should not put on all of their jewelry and should leave one piece out because of zecher l’churban. Since today, women have a lot of jewelry and they never put all their jewelry on at the same time anyways, so this halacha would not apply.

Less of a Meal

When preparing a meal (even a seudas mitzvah) one should not prepare completely and should leave a food item out. This does not have to be done on Shabbos or Yom Tov. Some are lenient with this halacha. Some say one should leave an empty plate on the table to show that there is supposed to be more food which was left out as a zecher l’churban. This does not seem to be the common custom.

Music and Zecher L’churban

Many people listen to music on a regular basis. However, as will be discussed below, one of the gezeiras that were made because of zecher l’churban was regarding listening to music.