19 Oct HAPPY BIRTHDAY

The Jewish

people have always

focused

on birthdays. On

Pesach, we celebrate

the birth

of the Jewish nation.

We say in

Mussaf that the

world was created

on Rosh Hashana.

Many question whether making

a birthday party is a Jewish custom. Indeed,

there are customs for the day of a

birthday which are not well known. In

this issue we will discuss these issues

and many others.

Early Sources on non-Jewish Birthdays

The only birthday party which is recorded

in the Torah is that of Pharaoh. The

posuk says, “It was on the third day, Pharaoh’s

birthday, that he made a party for

all his servants…” Based on this, some

poskim maintain that the custom to have

a birthday party is in fact an issue of “following

in the ways of the non-Jews” and

is not the practice of Jews. The Yerushalmi

says that when Amalek attacked

klal yisroel, they used warriors whose

birthday was the same day.

The Mishnah in Avodah Zarah says

that non-Jews would celebrate the

birthdays of their kings.

This has ramifications regarding Jewish

people making birthday parties.

Early Sources Regarding Birthdays

The posuk in Hoshea says, “The day

our king….” The Metzudas Dovid

says that the custom of Jewish kings

was to make a simcha and Yom Tov on

their birthdays.

The Gemorah says that when Rav Yosef

reached sixty years old he made a

party since he had avoided kares.

The posuk in Tehillim says that the

life expectancy of a person is seventy

years and if he is stronger it is eighty

years. Therefore, some celebrated their

70th birthday.

Others did not necessarily like the day

they were born, as was expressed in

Yirmiyahu, “Cursed should be the day

I was born.”

In Koheles it says, “The day of death (is

better) than the day of birth.” However,

the Medrash Sechel Tov says, “Most

people are happy and make a seuda on

the day they were born.”

Growing at Certain Stages

The Mishnah lists the following regarding

stages of growth:

A five year old begins learning Chumash:

a ten year-old begins Mishnah:

a thirteen year old begins mitzvos; a

fifteen year old begins studying Gemorah;

an eighteen year old gets married;

a twenty year old begins running after

(parnasa); a thirty year old attains full

strength; a forty year old receives understanding;

a fifty year old can give advise;

a sixty year old is considered old; a

seventy year old attains ripe old age; an

eighty year old shows strength; a ninety

year old become hunch-back; a hundred

year old is considered as if he is not alive

and has gone from the world.

Relevance of a Birth Date Among

Early Jewish Luminaries

We find early sources regarding the

benefits of the day one was born. Yitzchok

was born on the fifteenth day

of Nissan, and that is the day we left

Mitzrayim. Moshe Rabbeinu was born

in Adar, and this protected us during

the miracle of Purim. On Shavuos we

focus on the birthday of Dovid Hamelech.

On Lag B’omer we celebrate the

birth of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai(all

of the above three individuals died on

the day they were born). Moshiach

was born on Tisha B’av.

Mazal

The Gemorah says that the mazal of the

day and hour he is born has an impact

on his mazal. We know that “ein mazal

l’yisroel,” which means that the Jewish

people have the ability to overcome any

ill effects that a mazal may have.

We wish a person mazal tov when he

reaches a milestone in his life, such as

a bris milah, bar or bas mitzvah, or an

engagement telling them there mazal

should continue to be good.

Those In Favor of Birthday Parties

Throughout the ages, birthdays were celebrated

by Jewish people, even Gedolim.

Their views will now be detailed below:

Some seforim say that the Tiferes Yisroel

instructed in his will that his children

should write letters to each other

on their birthdays.

The Leket Yosher records that the Terumas

Hadeshen made a siyum on the day

he turned sixty years old.

The Ben Ish Chai says, “Some have

the custom to make every year on their

birthday a Yom Tov and it is a good

simon, and we do so in our house.”

In addition, he says that when one

reaches sixty or seventy it is proper to

wear a new garment or eat a new fruit

and make a shehechiyanu and have in

mind his age as well (see below).

The Ben Yehoyada says that one should

make his birthday like a Yom Tov.

The Ba’al Shem Tov zt”l was known for

making a seuda on the eighteenth day

of Elul which was the day he was born.

Many Chassidim make as seuda on this

day as well to commemorate his birth.

The author of the Sdei Chemed made

a birthday party when he reached seventy

years old.

The Chasam Sofer says that Avraham

Ovinu made a party each year on the

day that he had a bris milah. The Ben Ish

Chai says the custom in his house was

not to make a party on the day that his

bris was performed.

It is stated in the Ginzei Yosef that “anshei

ma’ase” recite a shehechiyanu on

a new fruit or garment each year when

they reach their birthday (which brings

them joy, see below). It is definitely

proper to give thanks to Hashem on the

day of your birthday.

The Kesav Sofer made a siyum every

year on his birthday, and when he turned

fifty he made a shehechiyanu and made

a siyum on Meseches Pesachim.

When the Chofetz Chaim zt”l reached

the age of ninety he finished the kuntres

“Bais Yisroel” and invited some close

friends and made a seuda.

The opinion of Harav Ovadia Yosef zt”;

is that a birthday party made with divrei

Torah and shevach to Hashem would

turn the party into a seudas mitzvah.

There were many Chassidishe Rebbes

who celebrated their birthdays as well.

Those Opposing Birthdays

Although many opinions maintain that

there is nothing wrong with celebrating

a birthday, there are some who take issue

with this. These opinions will be brought

below.

The Gemorah says that it is preferable

not to be born. This would support the

argument that celebrating a birthday is

not advisable, since it is not a good thing

that one was born.

Based on this, the Divrei Torah maintains

that we have no tradition of our

holy Rabbis or fathers to make a birthday

party.

In addition, some bring a proof from the

fact that Pharaoh made a birthday party

that it is a non-Jewish custom. Indeed,

the Gemorah says that one of the holidays

of a non-Jew is their birthday.

Some poskim note that there is no mention

in the Gemorah, Geonim, Rishonim

or Achronim about a party on the day

one was born. The only mention regards

Pharaoh. The friends of Harav Spector

zt”l wished to make him a 50th anniversary

of his job in Rabbonus, but he declined.

The Otzer Kol Minhagei Yeshurun

says that people make these parties

because they want to be like their neighbors,

but what is the purpose of the joy?

What is the Joy of a Birthday?

A birthday is a good time to give

thanks to those who have contributed

to your very existence, Hashem and

your parents. Birth is a great miracle.

Just as we recite a beracha when we

experience a miracle, we should give

thanks for being born.

We rejoice over a birth and mourn a

death. Logically, the opposite should

be true, since a newborn faces uncertainty,

while a dead person has fulfilled

his mission. Regarding this, Koheles

says, “The day of death (is better) than

the day of birth.” However, each Jewish

person has a chazaka that he will do

well (chezkas kashrus) therefore, we

are happy when a person is born. This

is the joy of a birthday as well, as we

celebrate the opportunity to fulfill mitzvos

and improve ourselves each year.

Shehechiyanu When Turning Seventy

Some poskim are of the opinion that

when one reaches seventy he should

make a shehechiynau, while others disagree.

One should make the beracha

without the shem or malchus.

Practices on a Birthday

On one’s birthday, it is proper to:

Give thanks to Hashem.

Give berochos to Others.

Give extra money to tzedaka.

Make a siyum.

Receive an aliyah to the Torah.

Set aside extra time to learn Torah.

Daven for the amud.

Go to a tzaddik and receive a beracha

(common in many Chassidishe circles).

Engage in introspection and seek ways

to improve himself.

Visit the Kosel Hama’aravi.

Which Tefillos to say on Specific

Birthdays

From age seventy and on one should say

Tehillim chapter 103 on every birthday.

“Live Until 120”

A common beracha we give to people is

that they should live until 120 years old.

Moshe Rabbeinu lived to 120.

Blowing out Candles on a Cake

The practice of putting candles on a

birthday cake corresponding to the celebrant’s

age does not stem from a Jewish

custom and should not be done. Candles

in the Jewish religion represent the soul.

When extinguishing the candles, one

should not blow it out with his mouth.

The poskim say it is a danger to do

so, especially since this custom stems

from the non-Jews. The custom seems

to be lenient with this, but one should

avoid it if possible.

Conclusion

Although some poskim say that making

a birthday party is not a Jewish

practice, the custom is nevertheless to

make birthday parties. However, these

parties should not be turned into jokes

and levity.