25 Mar IN PURSUIT OF CHOMETZ – PART TWO

Last week, we looked
at twenty-six ways that
our lives could change
because of our sincere
pursuit of the chometz
that is in our midst prior
to Pesach. The pursuit
of chometz is a task that
we can take into the rest of the year for, just
as we purge the chometz from our homes,
vehicles and offices, we can attempt to root
out our yeitzer hara, which is what chometz
symbolizes!

So, let’s take a look at yet another twenty-
six ways that we can work on ourselves

throughout the year… starting today!
27) I will learn to happily part with my
money for tzedakah, charity, recognizing
that a kittel, a Jewish shroud, has no pockets
and the only money we get to take with us to
the next world is that which we give to help
others!
28) I will take special care in eating kosher,
making sure that I don’t simply rely on the
fact that everyone else is eating this or that
product!
29) I will make sure to hope daily for Moshiach
and techiyas hameisim, the resurrection of the
dead, utilizing the many prayers that we say
about these wishes, like Al kein nikaveh in

Aleinu, Es tzemach in Shemone Esrei, and
Kaddish, to name but a few.
30) I will fiercely pursue Shalom Bayis,
marital harmony, knowing that it is the
linchpin of insuring the Shechina in the home!
And as Rav Chaim Vital has said, a person’s
middos can be evaluated by how they treat
their spouse!
31) I will try to never end the day before
making up with my spouse, not wanting to go
to sleep without the Shechina in the home.
32) I realize that humans are reciprocal
in nature and I will try to initiate love and
affection, caring and devotion in my marriage,
knowing full well that the best way to get
something is to give it!
33) Knowing that I will be asked in the next
world if I made my spouse happy, I will make
a list of ten things that I know would thrill my
spouse and will set out to fulfill as many of
those items as I can. (If you can’t list ten, start
dating him or her again!)
34) I will learn the art of saying “I’m sorry,”
showing that I empathize with the damage
I’ve done and demonstrating that I’m making
concrete corrections so that it won’t happen
again. This is very different than the, “But, I
said I’m sorry already,” approach!
35) When under tension, I will pay special

attention how I speak to my spouse, pausing
an extra moment to remove the barb (shtuch)
and sting from something I was about to say!
36) With my children, I’ll be ever mindful
that the best ‘presents’ I can give them is more
of my presence!
37) Knowing how busy our lives are, I will be
constantly mindful that the best way to teach
my children is by example. I’ll therefore try
hard to be a role model for them especially
at home, showing them how I practice
communication, restraint, compromise,
flexibility, forgiveness, etc.
38) I will try hard not to eye other women,
thinking of what I say twice daily in the
Shema, “V’lo sasuru acharei l’vavchem
v’acharei eineichem,” or as a woman, I will
try not to mindfully attract other men.
39) I will honor my parents exceedingly,
realizing it is a barometer of my respect for
Hashem! I will honor them while they are
alive and send them packages when they are
in the next world!
40) I will likewise show great respect to
my in-laws, realizing that most of what is
precious to me, my wife and children, is only
because of them!
41) I will treat my sons in-law and daughters
in-law like royalty and in this way keep my
children.
42) I will say the Shabbos Kiddush with
the thoughts that Hashem created the world
and that He took us out of Egypt to be His
special people.
43) When eating the cholent and the liver, I
will pause to reflect on my belief in Hashem,
the Creator, and my gratitude to Him.
44) I will make sure that my family and
I eat three meals on Shabbos, for this
offers many important protections. I will
likewise insist on the eating of the Melave
Malka after Shabbos which sustains the
indestructible luz bone, from which we will
be resurrected.
45) I will be mindful of personal modesty
even in the bathroom for it is a barometer
of ones awareness of Hashem, since He is
the only One who sees me when I am there.
46) I will take my family to see Torah sages
often, for the Torah teaches us that this is
akin to greeting the Shechinah (see Rashi in
Parshas Ki Sisa).
47) I will bentch with intense concentration,
taking out time to learn the bentching well,
for the Chofetz Chaim tells us that one who
bentches with kavanah will be assured a
livelihood with dignity and plenty all the
days of his life. I will avoid washing if I
feel I won’t be able to concentrate on the
bentching [Rav Segal of Manchester Zt”l].
48) I will learn to pay attention to the
great mitzvah of saying ‘amein,’ having in

mind that the blessing is true and may what it
describes be fulfilled, when applicable.
49) I will try to acquire the great talent of
silence, developing the expertise of not
needing to answer back or have the last word.
It is the trait of the righteous (Masechtas
Eruvin) and will save one from many
downfalls (Masechtas Sanhedrin).
50) I will try hard to learn humility, for our
sages teach us it’s the most important of all
traits!! (cf. Masechtas Erchin [16b] and the
third Tosafos in Masechtas Yevamos [103b]).
51) I will say Krias Shema al haMita and
the blessing of hamapil nightly. This is
so important for it ends off the day in the
correct Jewish way and we know that much
is determined by the end. And, I will have
in mind that I’m sleeping to be able to serve
Hashem better the next day. This converts the
entire night’s sleep into a hechsher mitzvah.
52) I will never rest on my laurels but think
about how I can change and improve myself
EVERY day. To this end, I will always make
a cheshbon hanefesh, a personal accounting,
preferably every night, and at least once a
week before Shabbos.
As mentioned last week, these are only
samples of ways that we all could improve
ourselves. Let us commit to continuous
striving in our Yiddishkeit throughout the
year, and in that merit, may Hashem bless us
with long life, good health, and everything
wonderful.