06 Sep ITS ELUL

 The Jews are great people, we do chesed, learn Torah, visit the sick, give a lot of tzedakah, and as a whole are a wonderful nation. However, there does exist issues in the Jewish world. To name a few; lack of modesty among women; talking in shul; overeating and the focus on food and desires in this world; internet; cell phones in shul; and basic lack of awareness of Hashem. We see people who steal and cheat and are immune to it and don’t think they did anything wrong. Their answer is every one does it. Is this a Torah outlook?

The Gemara says if one has the ability to make a difference and stop someone from an wrong doing and he doesn’t he is held liable for it. We therefore, are going to try to write this in the merits of some of our readers to listen, perhaps. Either way this will be our way of doing our part.

Talking in Shul

We see many posters and videos in shul discussing on how talking in shul is terrible and hopefully it makes an impact. How sad it is that we need to even have these ads. However, we have to realize that this has been an issue for sometime now and has spiraled out of control. Talking may stop when the Rav insists on it, but even then it is hard to stop when the Rav is not there, seemingly one is scare of the Rav telling him to stop but not of Hashem. There can be shuls where talking is so rampant that it is done from beginning of davening until the end. One solution for this is to make a statement which people may not want to hear. If one can not control himself not to talk from beginning of davening until the end, since he apparently has nothing to daven for then please do all those who wish to come to shul and daven in front of Hashem, STAY HOME. Shul is not meant for you. If one feels odd telling his wife and kids that he is not going to shul because he talks and does not let others daven then so be it. How should those who wish to daven and ask for ones needs explain to his children why there are grown men outside shul during davening and leining, or inside shul who can not close their mouths, who do not care about davening? Maybe by staying home for a number of weeks one will stop the talking and the insanity.

Overeating and Focus on Food

Overeating is a problem in all communities not only the Jewish one. However, we have somehow become obsessed with eating and food. Just go into any one of the major large kosher supermarkets and one sees how much food is offered for sale. We have magazines which go into depth on a large variety of exquisite dishes, and focus a great deal on a multitude of dishes. 

How many people are not able to control themselves and eat by a full Kiddush, and then eat a large Shabbos seudah. How many people control their desires to eat. How many people eat and do not think if the food they are eating is even good for them, or is it filled with chemicals that can damage you. So many people even go through procedures to have their stomach stapled and other such methods because their desire to control themselves has failed. Why is it that each time there is a shiur in many communities it has to be that food is served, with a large variety of options. If there is no sushi then many people do not come to the shiur. Is Torah not inviting to learn without all of this? This can not go on for too much longer. We are in essence killing ourselves. Why is it that we can not control ourselves when it comes to drinking alcohol and decide to take it to the extreme and getting drunk by a random Kiddush, are we sane?

Internet

We all know that the internet is an issue with young and old alike. So much so that it is becoming extremely difficult for people to focus on what is important in life and instead waste hours and hours on the internet, looking at things which should not be looked at. Obviously, we know that the internet makes Torah available to the masses as never before, but also has a lot of impurity as well and people get hooked and websites which display images which are forbidden to be seen. We need a way to protect ourselves.

Cell Phone Use in Shul

Everyone can attest to the fact that there is basically not a shul in the world that does not have someone who brings their cell phone into shul and does not have the ability to control himself from playing games and texted during davening, yes during davening. There has been an effort to curb this by installing small cubbies for the cellphones, but most of the times these are not used as they should be, and many of them just collect dust. An entire chazaras hashatz can go by and there are many people who do not answer amen or answer to kaddish. Right when they finish their Shemonei Esrei they go to their phones and they don’t even concentrate since they are running through it to be able to go on their phone. Where is the self control? There is an off switch to the phone, or better yet leave the phone in the car. The game one is planning, and email one is replying to is not as important as davening and we all know that but can’t control ourselves? If you cant get off your phone in shul DO NOT COME TO SHUL. Daven at home. We are on our cell phones all day even when we should be giving undivided attention to our children and spouses. We have a fear of missing out on emails, texts, whats app, but we do not fear missing out on a Kaddish, Kedusha, Amen, etc. Where are the priorities? What has happened?

Basic Lack of Awareness of Hashem

Torah is probably learned by more people now than ever before. However, there is a great basic lack of the awareness of Hashem in our daily lives. We can go by days without talking to Hashem or knowing that he is the creator of the world, and all we have in this world comes from him. We think we make the livelihood, and Hashem is not involved. We think that if we steal money from people and cheat the government that we are helping Hashem support us. It is time to put Hashem back into the Jewish religion and not to do things out of habit without much thought. How many more times does the Torah world have to suffer from Jews being arrested because they stole or cheated? This all stems from the lack of awareness of Hashem. We do a good job of learning Gemorah, and are taught that we need to sharpen our minds. However, the Yeshivas do not do a good job in teaching children to have a relationship with Hashem. Talk to Hashem on a regular basis. This needs to be more emphasized.

In addition, many go around without having a sense of life and go on about their day without feeling any connection to Judiasm, and what they are doing on this world.

The Solution

All the above are some real problems. However, problems have solutions. The solution has been around for hundred of years. People have learned this in many different forms, from different sefarim, but in the end if one does not have a daily learning cycle in this category of Torah, then he is doomed. Perhaps Yeshivas should focus on this as well and spend a bit less time focusing on other topics. This vital topic is the learning of MUSSAR.

We all realize in business we want more and more money, and luxuries but settle for the medicore when it comes to Torah and Avodas Hashem and settle for much less than we can truly accomplish. It is true that it hard for one to change, and when one learns mussar he will change, but this is what needs to be done to be a good Jew.

We will discuss why learning Mussar is so important and in doing so rids oneself of desires, lust, stealing, lack of self control. Instead one will feel a purposed in life and not need to come onto other areas to give him pleasure which is not part of the Jewish religion. 

Why Now

The lack of proper behavior among us has been around for thousands of years.[6] Our evil inclination was given to us when we were born. However, in years past if one sinned or did a misdeed it did not cause him to go off the path, disgrace Shabbos, Hashem, or intermarry. Today, this is different and in the modern world if one goes off there is lurking world out there and he goes very off. Therefore, NOW there is a bigger need and requirement to prevent this from happening and mussar is the way to do so.

Learning Mussar

The Gemara in Maseches Kiddushin says Hashem created an evil inclination and created Torah as the antidote. The Birchei Yosef says the antidote referred to in the Gemara is with learning mussar. If one does not learn mussar then he does not know that the world outside is a tough world to overcome with the many challenges. If one does not know he is in a war he wont know he has the methods to overcome.

The Mishnah Berurah comments that one should make sure to set aside time each day to learn Mussar. This is also brought in any poskim. The Gra in fact learned Mussar many times a day.

The Kaf Hachaim mentions one shoud learn 30 minutes each day before learning halachah. The Steipler zt”l would learn fifteen minutes a day of mussar.

Some mention learning mussar is more important than learning Mishnayos. Even if one learns a lot and grows in his learning, his yetzer hara grows as well and he needs to make sure it is kept in check by learning mussar this can be done.

Sadly we see many people who spend a lot of time learning Torah, but are from fear of Hashem, and the answer is to learn mussar. Without learning mussar and fixing their ways their Torah is not Torah.

The Chasam Sofer zt”l before beginning a shiur would start learning with his students 15 minutes of Chovas Halevovos.

The Chafetz Chaim zt”l commented if a Yeshivah does not have a mussar seder it can not be called a Yeshivah.

The ladder in order to reach Hashem with a clean soul is for one to learn mussar. If one does not learn musar then he will not know if his actions which he does is correct or not and he may continue to steal, cheat, lie, have haughtiness, anger, etc. However, if one learns mussar then slowly it will penetrate ones heart and he will become a better person.

The Mishnah says if one has fear of Hashem his wisdom will last, if he does not have fear of Hashem his wisdom will not last.

All Beginnings are Tough

Although the beginning of ones travels to learning mussar may be difficult, one should not despair and give up. Also one should not think that by learning mussar he will become too extreme. The Torah will straighten that out and teach one how to relate to himself.

The Gra on Importance of Learning Mussar

The Gra zt”l devoted part of a sefer Even Shleimah to discuss the importance of breaking ones bad habits.

Ones entire servitude to Hashem depends on fixing one’s traits. Its like a clothing over the mitzvos and Torah. All sins come from midos.

The main focus of ones existence on this world is to fix his bad traits, if not why is he living? 

Chafetz Chaim’s Opinion

The Chafetz Chaim zt”l mentioned in his times (and especially today) one must make sure to learn mussar. Only through learning mussar will one be able to make sure not to slip in his avodas Hashem. This can be understoon with a mashal. If there is a strong wind and one is walking in the street, if he does not hold onto his garments they can fly away and he will be left naked. So too if there is a person who learns Torah but does not learn mussar the winds of society around him will blow him away. Therefore, it is important for every Yeshivah to make sure they have a seder in mussar. The Chafetz Chaim zt”l goes on to mention he spoke to the Gedolim that may have not been on board with the concept of learning mussar when the idea began, but they all agreed that times have changed and it is imperative that mussar is learned. 

The reality is whether a Yeshivah boy or working man one needs to learn mussar daily.

Which Sefer

There are many good Sefarim on Mussar one can read. Gedolei Yisrael have learned many of the sifrei Musar which are available, such as Reishis Chuchmah, Shevet Mussar,

Chovas Halevovos, Shaarei Teshuvah, Orchos Tzadikim, and Mesilas Yesharim to name a few. 

There are so many of these sefarim with english transalation which makes it very easy to understand what is being written.

One should pick one which talks his language and he can relate to. In addition each sefer above realtes to a different topic. If one feels he has to work on his midso he should learn the Orchos Tzadikim, if one wishes to learn about teshuvah, then Shaarei Teshuvah should be your sefer. One who has issue of anger should read Erech Apayim. If one has a hard time with avoiding the speaking of Loshon Hara then he shuld learn the sefer Chafetz Chaim on Shemiras Halashon etc..

The custom of many Gedolim was to make sure to have a set time to learn mussar. In addition, the custom in most of the great Yeshivos in Lithuania was to have time set aside to learn mussar. Obviosuly care should be taken not to spend too much of ones times on gemara. 

Women

Just as a male should learn mussar, so too a woman should do so. The Steipler zt”l suggested for girls to learn Shaarei Teshuvah, or Orchos 

well. He did not advise girls to learn from the Chovas Halevovos.

Goal of Mussar

The goal of learning mussar is to change a person from his current actions to act differently in the future. It is not to learn from a mussar sefer to get a nice vort etc. In addition, the point of learning mussa is that one should know his life has a goal and is not a free for all like the outisde world thinks.

In Place of Learning

Some do not feel comfortable learning mussar because they claim it is considered bitul Torah. However, such logic is simply not true. The Chayei Adam mentions one should learn sefarim which speak about the fear of Hashem etc even if it means that doing so would make one learn less Torah. Someone once asked Harav Yisrael Salanter zt”l if one only has a half hour a day to learn should he learn Mishnayos, Gemara or Mussar, and he answered learn Mussar and you will see that you willl have more time in the day to learn.

One who learns about the fear of Hashem, Love of Hashem and good deeds fulfills the mitzvah of learning Torah. Others felt learning mussar would get one depressed since it calls out flaws one may have. However, if one falls into depression when he is learning mussar is not learning mussar in the proper manner.

The Chafetz Chaim zt”l mentioned if one is not feeeling well, and does not wish to eat he takes a little medicine in order that he should feel better and then eat. However, taking a lot of the medicine all day would not be ideal. Mussar should be learned a bit every day and then learn the main area of Torah.

Learning mussar will arouse your heart to do the right thing. Without learning mussar one will not know how to refrain from bad actions.

It is very easy to tell the difference between one who learns mussar and one who does not it is the difference between day and night. Without learning mussar it is not possible to fix your middos, and there is no hope to fix your self.

Mussar as a Prelude to Torah

When one leaves this world he is asked many questions, whether he was honest in business, set aside time to learn, etc. However, if one did not have fear of Hashem then nothing will help him. One thing Hashem asks from us is to fear him.

The Meiri mentions if one does not have fear of Hashem, then it is better if he did not learn Torah. Rashi writes that the Torah is a gate for one to acquire fear of Hashem.

The Rambam opines that Torah is only found by one who is humble and not haughty. Implying one has to work on himself before he can acquire Torah.

The Orchos Tzadikim mentions having fear of Hashem will strengthen all other middos of a person.

Learning Mussar is important since without Fear of Hashem which one gains by mussar his wisdom in Torah will not last.

Desire

Much of what he do that needs fixing stems from desire. We daven every day in Elokai Netzor that our hearts be open to Torah, which helps us avoid desire in other things. We have to make sure to control our desires in any way possible since desire for the wrong thing can bring to forbidden actions.

If one wishes to really go on the ladder of Yiras Shamayim then he has to learn mussar. 

Once in A While

Learning mussar once in a while will not work since one has to be inspired to change and once in a while will not have an effect on a person. 

Learn it Over and Over

Even when one finishes learning a specific sefer he should not hesitate to learn it over and over again.

Out Loud

Harav Avigdor Miller zt”l would tell his students to learn from a mussar sefer in a loud voice like as was done in Slabodka in Pre-War Europe.

Leaving Yeshivah

Some would comment that during ones years in Yeshivah, Kollel people would learn with a lot of depth and energy and would write Chiddushei Torah etc. When they left the Yeshivah to go to the outside world, one would never know he ever learnt in the Yeshivah, and the reason for this is the lack of a mussar seder.

Learning Mussar on Shabbos

One is allowed to learn mussar on Shabbos even if it will make one sad. 

During Elul

Many are careful to make sure to have a seder in mussar during the month of Elul as a lead up to the Aseres Yemi Teshuvah. Some mention to learn Chovas Halevavos. Some mention to learn Shevet Mussar, while many learn Shaarei Teshuvah. One should learn a bit more mussar during this time than during the year.

Harav Yisroel Salanter zt”l would instruct his students not to push of their learning of gemara in order to learn Mussar except during Aseres Yemi Teshuvah. 

Mussar on Tisha B’av

Although learning many areas of Torah is not allowed on Tisha B’av, the classic mussar sefarim may be learned on Tisha B’av.