30 Dec KEEP SMILING

In parshas Vayechi, Yaakov faces his end
of life. “…It was said to Yosef, behold,
your father is sick…” (Bereishis 48:1)
The Midrash teaches that Yaakov prayed
for illness. But who asks to be sick? Don’t
we daven for a long, healthy life?
Prior to Yaakov, a person would live out
their days, and death would come upon
one suddenly. But Yaakov turned to
HaShem with a request for illness. As if it
is an alarm sounding off – it’s time to
settle one’s affairs. To Yaakov, one’s
affairs meant gathering the children
together, giving each one a bracha, a
personal life message, words of guidance
that will help them on their life’s many
journeys. Advice that only a loving father
can transmit.
And so, Yaakov gathered twelve sons
around his bedside. Before offering
individual guidance, Yaakov taught a
foundational lesson: “hey’asfu—come
together”. First and foremost a message

of unity. A parent wants nothing more
than to see his children join together, to
be there for each other.
As parents, we get upset when our little
ones are squabbling amongst themselves.
How much more upsetting it is when
adult children are not getting along.
Yaakov’s message of achdus, unity, is the
key to our survival. It was only then that
Yaakov proceeded to give each son his
unique, custom-tailored message.
“Yaakov finished blessing his sons and
put his feet upon his bed, ‘vayigva – and
he expired’, and he was gathered onto his
people.” (Bereishis 49:33) The use of the
word “vayigva – and he expired”, instead
of the more common vayamos – and he
died, is unusual. Rashi cites the Talmud,
“Yaakov avinu lo meis, Yaakov, our
patriarch didn’t die.” Yaakov’s essence,
his neshama, his legacy, lives on through
us. His teachings, his words, his blessings
live on. The brachos that Yaakov gave his
children thousands of years ago, speak to
us today. His brachos entered their hearts,
and have the power to enter ours.

When Yaakov blessed Yehuda, he
acknowledged the gift of royalty. “The
scepter shall not depart from Yehuda.”
(Bereishis 49:10) Yehuda was also
blessed with prime pastureland, as it is
said “…And his teeth were white with
milk”, alluding to raising sheep and the
abundance of milk.
There is yet a deeper life lesson to be
learned from these words. The Talmud
(Kesubos 111b) comments that one who
displays the white of his teeth to a friend
is more praiseworthy than one who offers
milk to drink. Chazal understood that
nourishment sustains the body, but
emotional warmth sustains the soul. The
healing power of a smile. While milk,
nourishment, has its many benefits, a
smile, exuding warmth and understanding,
works wonders.
My mother a”h had the opportunity to
speak at Oxford University. Following
her lecture, she opened the floor to Q&A.
A young woman stood up and asked:
“Rebbetzin, you are always smiling. Tell
me, does your smile start on your face
and work its way inward, or does it start
deep down inside, and travels its way
out?”
A question most of us never even think
about. My mother said that only in
Oxford would she be asked a question
like that. My mother explained that her
life wasn’t always easy. A childhood cut
short by the Holocaust. Immigrating to
the United States, a new land, a new
language, a new culture. Losing her
father, and then her husband, at a
relatively young age. Yet, she smiled
through it. My mother placed a smile on
her face, and it traveled from the outside
in. It became part of her very being. Just
by smiling, we can change our attitude.

I’m not suggesting that one live in La-
La Land, denying reality and ignoring

pain. Of course, there are times of
difficulty, suffering and challenge, times
when we feel like crying – and it’s okay.
But, by just showing the white of our
teeth, putting that smile on our face, it
can have a healing effect, not just for
ourselves, but by spreading to others as
well.
My mother would often quote Rav
Yisroel Salanter, founder of the mussar
movement. He taught that a person’s
face is reshus harabim, the public
domain. When one starts his day and

faces the world with a smile on his face,
coupled with a cheerful disposition, he
uplifts not only himself, but all those
around him. On the other hand, one who
has a sour, frown-filled face, with a
moody disposition, is a downer to
everyone he comes across. In essence,
Rav Yisroel Salanter’s teachings
emphasize that a smile is not merely a
social nicety but a vital act of chesed,
kindness that impacts the emotional and
spiritual well-being of others.
My zeide, HaRav Avraham HaLevi
Jungreis zt”l, understood this teaching
very well. When the family was deported
to Bergen-Belsen, he told my mother that
she had an important job – to smile. He
explained that when people will see a
sweet, little girl smile, it will give them a
dose of hope and happiness, even if it is
just for a few fleeting moments.
What a powerful lesson from my zeide.
Not only did he understand the importance
of giving a young girl meaning and
purpose during challenging times, but he
put a smile on her face, as well as those
around her.
This Shabbos, we conclude Sefer
Bereishis. It ends with the death of Yosef.
End of an era. The tzaddik, leader and
mentor of Bnei Yisroel was no longer. A
great loss. A loss we know led into the
cruel years of slavery in Egypt. How can
we rise and joyfully call out “Chazak…
Chazak…” as we read a tragic, sad
ending.
Here, too, lies a life message. At one time
or another, each of us suffers through
challenges, difficulty, even pain. The
answer is chazak, to find strength.
Chazak, the power of a smile, to show the
whiteness of one’s teeth to a friend.
Chazak, let’s remember Rav Yisroel
Salanter’s teaching – our face is in the
public domain. And finally,
“v’nizchazeik”, Zeide’s advice that each
of us can make a difference in the world
by just putting a smile on our face.