30 Sep KEEPING OUR COMMITMENTS

As we approach the
joyous festival of sukkos,
we reflect back at the
long, hard period of
Elul and the High Holy
Days. We put in a lot of
effort and time in trying
to improve our lives and
in communicating with
Hashem. As we got closer to Yom Kippur, we
made commitments in a variety of areas. We
pledged to find more time for Torah study; we
promised to concentrate more on our prayers
and be more serious about our brochos. We
resolutely decided to devote more time to
our marriages and our children. We were
determined to be more careful with our speech
and planned to be much more scrupulous with
the giving of charity.
Now, as the fear of the Day of Judgment is
behind us – and the reminders of the Shofar,
HaMelech HaKodosh, and Avinu Malkeinu
have passed – we need to gird ourselves to the
real challenge of keeping to our commitments.
This is reminiscent of the situation facing one
who mourns a close relative. During the days
of shiva, he is flooded by a veritable barrage of
friends and relatives coming to comfort him.
The real challenge in coping with the loss is
after the shiva period, when everyone leaves
and he is alone to face the loss. In a similar
vein, while everyone around us is clopping his
chests, saying the vidui with contrition, it is

easy to get caught up in the spirit of spiritual
betterment. The true test, however, is when
we go home and we face alone the everyday
challenges of not losing our temper and not
succumbing to all sorts of laziness. That is
the acid test of determining how viable our
commitments really were.
The Gemora in Masechtas Yoma [86b] teaches
us that if one does teshuvah out of fear of
retribution he converts his willful sins into
unwitting transgressions. This is a nifty bit of
conversion. But, there is a better way – for
the Gemora continues – if one does teshuvah
b’ahavah, because of his love for Hashem, then
“…z’donos na-asos lo ki-z’chuyos…,” willful
sins are actually converted into meritorious
deeds.
This is a remarkable boon from Hashem –
that one’s misdeeds can actually change into
a mitzvah. The Shaila HaTorah explains this
unique phenomenon as follows. The mitzvah
of teshuvah, which is one of the 613 rarified
mitzvos, would not be possible without
a sin. So, if a person does a wholesome
teshuvah, it turns out that this sin is a hechshar
mitzvah – an accessory of the fulfillment of
the commandment of teshuvah, and there
is a Talmudic adage that ‘hechshar mitzvah
k’mitzvah – the accessory of a mitzvah is like
the mitzvah itself.’ It is for this reason that
eating on erev Yom Kippur is considered like
fasting for, since the eating enables us to fast
better, it is a hechshar mitzvah and thus is like

the mitzvah itself. So we find the unique result
that the eating is as if one is fasting! So too,
when one does teshuvah out of love, his sin
indeed becomes a component of the mitzvah
itself.
The great Rav Boruch Ber, Zt”l, Zy”a, wonders
why there is such a vast difference between
one who does teshuvah out of fear and one
who does teshuvah out of love. He explains
beautifully that when one repents because
of fear of Divine punishment, he does not
necessarily regret his transgressions. He just
exercises repentance out of fear for the sin’s
repercussions. But, when one does teshuvah
because of his love for Hashem, then he regrets
the actual sin for he is full of remorse for going
against the will of his beloved Creator. Thus,
teshuvah mei-ahava is the pure teshuvah where
one regrets the transgression itself. It is this
type of teshuvah that amazingly can convert a
sin into an actual mitzvah.
With this in mind, we have a more profound
appreciation of the sin of lashon hora. Imagine
if I were to tell you that Yankle was talking
in shul last Shabbos. It happens to be true
but, in the middle of the week, Yankle did a
sincere teshuvah. So, his talking in shul was
not merely erased, but it was converted into
real mitzvah. Look what a terrible thing I did.
I accused him of perpetrating the grievous sin
of talking in shul when actually it turns out he
was doing a mitzvah.
Now that we understand that the loftiest

teshuvah is one out of love, we can appreciate
that it is after Yom Kippur when we really
can first roll up our sleeves and get to work
on teshuvah, for during the High Holy Days
our motivation is primarily out of fear of the
judgment and Hashem’s seal. But now, when
the Judgment Day has passed, and we are
sitting in our sukkos, basking in the nostalgic
memories of Hashem’s loving protection, we
can now focus on the purest form of teshuvah,
repenting out of our deep love for Hashem,
Who has chosen us and given us so many
things in this world and a glorious future in
the Eternity.
So now, we have the very pleasant outcome
to look forward to: that as we repent with
love, we can convert our past mistakes and
misdeeds into lofty mitzvahs. Instead of being
burdened with guilt, let’s get cracking at this
lofty mission and may it be the will of Hashem
that we succeed with a teshuvah sheleima, a
perfect repentance in all areas of life, and
be blessed with long life, good health, and
everything wonderful.