09 Sep KI TAVO: APPRECIATING THE FAMILY WE’VE BEEN GIVEN

Parashat Ki-Tavo begins with
the mitzvah of bikkurim – the
requirement that a farmer
bring the first of his fruits
that ripen each year to the Bet
Ha’mikdash, and present them
as a gift to a kohen.
The Torah commands, U’bata El Hakohen
Asher Yihiyeh Bayamim Haheim – “You shall
come to the kohen who will be in those days.”
Rashi explains that the Torah adds the words
Asher Yihiyeh Bayamim Haheim – “who will
be in those days” – to teach us “all you have is
the kohen in your times, the way he is.” A
person should bring his bikkurim to the kohen
who is there in his time, even if this kohen is
not of the same caliber as a kohen of a
previous generation.
Rashi makes a similar comment earlier in
Sefer Devarim (17:9), in reference to the
Torah’s command that one bring his difficult
Torah questions El Hashofeit Asher Yihiyeh
Bayamim Haheim – “to the judge who will be
in those days.” In that context, too, Rashi
explains that the Torah is emphasizing that
even if the judge is not as great as the judges
of earlier generations, “all you have is the
judge who is in your times.”
The Ramban raises the question of how Rashi

applies this to the context of bikkurim. After
all, the kohen simply receives the bikkurim.
He does not need to be wise, scholarly, or
righteous. When it comes to judges and
halachic scholars, it’s understandable that one
might be reluctant to bring his halachic
question to a rabbi who is less impressive than
the Rabbis of yesteryear. But why would a
person feel this way about his bikkurim
The answer given is that when a person gives
something to someone, he wants to feel good
about the recipient. A farmer is bringing the
first fruits, which he worked very hard to
produce, to give them as a gift to a kohen. If
he sees that the kohanim in his generation
aren’t quite on the same level as the kohanim
of earlier generations, he might feel uneasy
about presenting them with this gift. The
Torah therefore tells him, “all you have is the
kohen in your time.” These are the kohanim
you have been given, so appreciate them, and
support them.
This is something which is relevant when it
comes to family members. Many people, if
not all of us, have issues with somebody in the
family, or with several members of the family.
It could be a spouse, a parent, a child, a
sibling, a parent-in-law or a child-in-law.
They think, “If only he wouldn’t do that,” or,
“If only she wouldn’t be weird in that way,”

or, “If only he wouldn’t talk like that,” or, “If
only she didn’t act this way.” People seem to
always be complaining about someone, or
more than one person, in their family.
We need to remember, these are the family
members that Hashem gave us. Yes, they
aren’t perfect, just like we ourselves aren’t
perfect, and just like all people on earth aren’t
perfect. Yes, they’re a little weird in some
way, just like we ourselves are weird is some
way, and all people on earth are weird in some
way. We have to accept them and love them
for who they are.
The Gemara in Masechet Hulin (58b) tells
what appears to be a very peculiar story about
two small flies. The female fly got angry at
the male fly, and stayed away from the male
for seven years. The reason it was angry is
because it once saw the male fly suck blood
from a person, and did not inform the female
fly so she could also have some blood. The
Gemara questions how this could have
happened, given that this was a special species
of fly that lives only for a single day. How
could the female fly have separated from the
male fly for seven years, if they lived for only
one day?
The Gemara answers that the “seven years”
refers to their “years.” Meaning, this refers to
just a short while, the amount of time

proportional to seven years in the life of a
human being.
What is the meaning of this seemingly bizarre
story?
One Rabbi explained that the Gemara here is
talking not about one-day flies, but about us.
So many families are torn apart over nonsense,
just like this pair of flies. So many siblings are
not on speaking terms because of some silly
fight, because somebody got offended by
something that the other person did. And if
only they realized that they live for just “one
day,” that life is shorter than it appears, they
wouldn’t have made an issue out of it.
Let us try to appreciate the family we’ve been
given, the people we are blessed to have in
our lives, flawed and imperfect as they may
be. Instead of complaining, let us be grateful
for everyone we have around us, and work to
strengthen and enhance these relationships as
best we can.