18 Aug KI TESEH: THE GRAVE OF THE “WAYWARD SON”

The Torah in Parashat
Ki-Teseh introduces
the subject of the Ben
Sorer U’moreh – the
“wayward son.” This
is a delinquent 13-year-old child, whose
delinquency manifests itself particularly in
addictive indulgence. He eats and drinks so
compulsively that he steals his parents’ money
to buy wine and meat. The Torah states that
this child should be put to death, and the
Gemara explains that this is because this child
is set along a path to violent crime. Once he
has reached this point, where he steals his
parents’ money to satisfy his lust for food and
wine, we are certain that he will eventually
mug people to steal their money and will end
up murdering. He should therefore be killed
so he never grows to be a violent criminal.
The Gemara further states that there has
never been a child that qualified as a Ben
Sorer U’moreh, and there never will be such
a case. There are so many conditions that must
be met for this law to take effect that it can
never actually apply as a practical matter. The
Torah nevertheless taught us this theoretical
Halacha so we can earn reward by studying
this subject.
The Gemara then cites Rabbi Yochanan as
testifying, “I saw him, and I sat on his grave.”

At first glance, it appears that there are two
views in the Gemara as to whether there was
a case of a Ben Sorer U’moreh. The first
opinion said that it never happened, whereas
Rabbi Yochanan said that it did.
However, this sounds peculiar. Could the
Sages have really been arguing about a
historical point? Normally, debates among
the Rabbis involve different rationales and
different ways of understanding Torah laws.
We are not accustomed to Rabbis arguing
over historical facts.
Perhaps we can advance a novel reading of
the Gemara’s discussion.
We mentioned earlier that the Torah commands
executing a Ben Sorer Ve’moreh because it is
certain that he will grow to become a violent
criminal. We must ask, why are we so certain?
Do we not all know of juvenile delinquents
who grew to become wonderful adults? Has
there never been a child who caused a great
deal of trouble as a young teenager but then
put his life together and excelled? I know
many outstanding Rabbis who were once
troubled youths. Why are we so sure that this
“wayward son” will turn out to be a criminal?
The answer is that we aren’t – and this is
precisely why the Gemara tells us that there
never was and never will be a case of a Ben

Sorer U’moreh.
The Torah speaks of a theoretical situation
of a child who must be put to death because
he will otherwise for certain become a
violent killer as an adult – and the Sages tell
us that this will always remain a theoretical
possibility, because in actuality, every single
person has the capacity to change, and to
change drastically. No matter where a person
is, no matter how low he has fallen, he always
has the potential to achieve greatness. There
are no exceptions.
Rabbi Yochanan says that he saw a Ben
Sorer U’moreh and went to his grave. Why
do people visit graves? Mostly, people visit
the graves of righteous Sadikim to pray to
Hashem at the site. And this might have been
what Rabbi Yohanan was doing at this grave –
he was praying, because this wayward child,
whom he saw in his state of rebelliousness
and unbridled sinfulness, ended up becoming
an outstanding Sadik, a pious and holy Jew at
whose gravesite people should want to pray.
Rabbi Yohanan is proving the point made
earlier, that there never was and never will be
a child determined to be a Ben Sorer U’moreh
who must be put to death – because in reality,
every child, no matter where he is currently,
has the ability to turn his life around and rise
to great spiritual heights.

We must never give up on any Jew, because
we are all the descendants of Abraham, Yishak
and Yaakob, we all contain within our souls a
divine spark, and we all have the potential for
greatness. And just as we must never give up
on another Jew, we must also never give up on
ourselves. What we’ve done in the past does
not determine who we are in the present, or
who we will be in the future. We need to trust
in our ability to change and in our potential
to not only improve, but to achieve greatness
and be worthy members of Hashem’s special
nation.